Checking in Evening of 215 days. Weekend really a struggle. I feel like I have been battling every minute when All I ever want is peace. I really love how my sobriety is not in jeopardy at these times. I’m learning on how to respond and learning why I started drinking in regards to this relationship!
Have a good night my sober friends.
I don’t have much to offer, other than to say I am sorry to hear that and wish you a peaceful evening 
I too am grateful that your sobriety wasn’t in jeopardy. Sorry to hear that the weekend was such a battle. Sending love and hugs… hoping for a better week ahead 
2y 6m 27d no self harm
I’ve been struggling with my depression a lot today and my friends have helped so much. but I have such low self esteem I’m feeling horribly guilty that they are choosing to spend their time on helping me. and I know this is kind of a ridiculous problem, but how do i stop feeling guilty when people just show common courtesy that I would show for them
1941
In the end I’m glad I did start doing the dishes, and cleared a lot of mess from the rest of my place after that. I actually did have some energy left. I did actually stay in contact with my friends. Having a place that’s liveable and that I’m glad to come home to is so important. Having friends to talk too is as well.
I’m not alone but depression is great in making me feel I am. Like I’m not worth the attention too, just like you @SadMemeQueen . We’ve been trying to take care of ourselves for o long, through no fault of our own, it’s so hard to feel worthy, to trust that we are worth it to others. Not trusting others makes it impossible to trust that they would trust us, to believe we are worth their attention and trust. It takes a lot of work to correct that. Through therapy, through practice, through work. We’re not alone. Hugs friend.
OK. Work today. Going to make it as good a day as I can, and expect the same from you all my friends. Sober and clean. Remind me I need new dish soap. Love.
@Its_me_Stella Great to see you checking in my friend. Sorry your relationship ended. I’m in awe of your daughter and how you are supporting her.
@Butterflymoonwoman Going places Dana! I knew you’d do great. Glad for you
Couldn’t agree more, @Mno! I too did a lot of house cleaning today and I felt much better for it 
thank you
592
I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve felt really good these past couple days. Mentally and physically. I’ll take it 
Work was alright. A little annoying but I won’t get into it. Just glad to have 2 days off. We’re officially closed Mon/Tues so I’m guaranteed that every week now. I’ve got a lot of plans tomorrow and should really make a list so I don’t forget anything. And I’d better get to bed soon to keep this good streak of sleep going. Hope you all have a good night
Hope you feel a bit better at the end of the day Menno
**Day 2203 
Going to see the doctor in a few houres. After that I have to go to work. My co worker arranged a chair for me to sit behind the counter. But still I want to discuss how many houres I am going to make. Hope my foctor has some advise in that.
I’m not good in setting my boundaries. And find it also hard to be restricted in being active.
Day 10 here. The reprieve from the miserable weather is over and it is really rainy and gloomy here. I have a site visit this morning and don’t fancy leaving the house, but it should be OK when I am there (just wet).
I am sorry to those that are struggling. @Mno @SadMemeQueen I hope you find some peace today, be kind to yourself.
@SoberWalker hope the Doctor goes well
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your Italian family. Especially if the loss comes at such a young age.
Depending on how much time you have and want to spend in each place you could do a train tour Prague - Vienna - Munich - Paris, or the other way around. There are good train connections between those cities. There are even some over night options available. I love traveling by train. If you have any questions feel free to reach out. Have a great day!
Checking in Day 383 SAF…
Some of the truest words I ever heard were " I stay sober because I don’t think I have another recovery left in me".
I 100% believe this. It took every fucking thing I had to get sober one last time over a year ago. I really think there’s no way I’d make it back from another run.
Have a great day guys 
Had a down day all of yesterday after waking pretty optimistic and well. I think I held anger too much and also perceived slight over a trivial yet annoying comment made. This in turn kind of stole joy. Still learning to master that seal skin and reflect the noises that other people make when they use blunt tools to fight.
Wales. The Elan valley, I believe. A wonderful walk between lots of dams.
Happy 24. 
303 days
Mostly a day of driving but it was all good
@JennyH Nice to see double digits 
@SoberWalker I soooo feel for your inability to be physically active. Very much hope the doctor will be able to help you. I had to recover from a prolongued injury some time ago and really hated being so limited. What helped me, was to find different ways of exercise and mobility that worked with my limitations. I had to completely rethink what I consider exercise and try some very stuff I usually did not care about, but in the end it kept me sane until I could go back to my favourite stuff. So don’t wait until you are ‚healthy’ again. Sending you healing energy 
@Just_Laura Nice to hear you are feeling good and have some time to enjoy it with nice activities 
@Mno You’ve got to be kidding me. I have the exact same cutting board in my kitchen - the striped one on the left 
Apart from this crazy coincidence I am very sorry you are in such a funk. Having a routine, keeping to it, doing simple things like household chores, meeting with friends, exercise, etc. usually help me through these kinds of phases. Hope the sun comes into your heart soon 
And if you feel like chatting, you can always text me
@SadMemeQueen Hey friend 
Your feelings and thoughts are not your fault. They come and sometimes they are just like really bad guests, with really bad behaviour. And as with guests they also will leave at some point. Whatever you have energy for: do it. Set up a schedule that is doable, include simple tasks, basic self-care, basic socializing, some exercise, some mindfulness. When I feel like I cannot socialize although I really need it, I check into an online meeting - I like Recovery Dharma, but you can choose anyone. There are even some especially targeting mental health problems. Even if I just listen in, it makes me feel better afterwards. Sending you love and care
@tailee17 Sorry you had such a difficult WE and glad to hear it was a win in the end sobriety wise. Hope you get some reprieve soon
@Lizziebeth You are doing a great job there stacking the sober days! It will get better, we all promise 
Have you joined any kind of programm? I find online meetings very helpful.
@Lighter Yeah, sober life is an acquired taste they say. Take your time. Go easy, don’t push yourself 
@Butterflymoonwoman 
I knew you would rock that speech! Congrats Dana, and I am so happy to read you had such a wonderful experience with so much appreciation 
Show us those flowers though! 
Happy recharging 
313 sugar
177 UPF
51 gluten
51 dairy
Did my morning run, feeling refreshed. Daughter is off to school, a bit anxious about her math test. Completely unnecessery. She always gets the best grades.
Me, I am going to work on more scenes and back story for my game. I will teach a class with the younger kids later, do some yoga. Nothing especially exciting.
Some of the art pieces I enjoyed at yesterday’s visit for you.
Whatever the day may bring I am going for peace and love for life 
Day 269
Wife thinks I’m nuts getting up at 5am this morning being a holiday. It’s just my routine and I feel my sleep etc are better when I stick to my schedule. Perhaps I am crazy?!? 
Spent entire day on greenhouse yesterday and suspect it’ll be same today. Hoping to get roof on and perhaps door and stained glass windows… we’ll see as I need to mow lawn at some point as well.
I’ve noted my weight is the exact same as it was back in June. I’ve maintained eating healthier and getting copious physical exercise. Weird it’s not moved though I want to stilll drop like 30-50lbs. Perhaps once I put away lawn equipment for season I’ll focus on gym again and can get it kick started again. Just odd that it’s not really moved for 3 months.
Oh well, bigger issues in this world and I’ll not dwell. 5:45am now, so time to get outside and get stuff done. Feeling strong lately.
Peace 
Day 2383. Getting ready for work.
Stay sober friends!
8 months 
Weekend was destructive…
Lot of depression, selfhate and anger was comming up. Sobriety is kind of a surprise box.
You never know what comes next.
But you know what’s waiting in addiction!
So make the right choice everyday.
And if it is throwing oat bagels around in the kitchen and screaming at them while baking. Rude me. Lol. What helps helps.
Started with an updated mediation, based on a technique I learned from an old wise woman many years ago in person. Upcomming month will be based on this. 
🩷
Love you guys
