Hey everyone im trying to be on the DL this days. Not giving to much info to anyone or thing anymore it is sad when people try to seek help and they stoke you. When you are trying to seek out help. Now feeling the way i do i mostly try reading and for those of you who might have a clue who i was before. I want to thank you all for the shares and kind words i have gotten alot from you all. (odaat)
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@spgand28 Sorry for all those recent losses. The unexpected death of my dad (whom I was not close with unfortunately) a few years back also made me think. I try now to appreciate the small things in life more. That works much better when I am sober.
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Checking in 
Nothing special to tell today! Well yesā¦ I stayed sober, thatās more than special! 
Other than that, after work I went to the pharmacy and supermarket, washed the dishes, did some laundryā¦ yep, exciting life I have!
Now Iām chillinā with my little munchkin, Mr. P, on the couch! 
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Checking in day 275 AF 
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@Hotic Congratulations 
@spgand28 How tragic. Life truly is precious, and we must make the most of it.
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Checking in afternoon Day 218. All good here. Back home from being out of town for a medical thing. Hubby was charming and friendly 2 whole days. I left early this morning to drive back home 2 1/2 hours away. Catching up on my accounting responsibilities. I am planning some do nothing time soonā¦
I want to say thank you for all that post hereā¦ I love reading about you all. Sending big hugs to everyone.
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Checking in.
Oh my feelinf very anxious lately. It does not help that financially we are struggling. Husbands new jpb is going well, and once I land something I know we will be okay. But it has been tough and I have had too much time to think about how else I could have managed thingsā¦I am just in an uncomfortavle place in an uncomfortable time. And doing the right thing, it has consequences too we have to live with. And reality has been hard to reflect on. I miss my sister, and I am just tired of how much of a struggle things have been since she died and fighting for my nephew and trying to do the right thing and do right by both of them.
We are trying to get together money also for my nephews therapy and this is doubly stressing me out. I have spent so much, and the services he needs are just not covered and the state of it in our country is horrible. The drama between my parents over this and whole family is just a nightmare.
I did the fundraiser last week and this week I spent the last 3 days writinf a letter to the Ombudsmans office regarding my nephew. I did here back from a job I did not get, have two application I sent Friday and 2 more to do tomorrow.
Fuxk I am just tired and stressed. Sober, tired and stressed. And I just need to not entertain the anxious thoughts of what ifs and get some rest and start again tomorrow.
Xo.
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@butterflymoonwoman Iām so proud of you too and happy to see you writing that! I canāt imagine how seeing the pictures would bring up triggers. Healing from past traumas can take time and the process can be a variety of things so try all the ones you mentioned and have knowledge that you are no longer that woman ā you have come a long way and survived. Donāt let these guys take any more from you. You are a warrior my beautiful friend. Keep thriving and growing 
@JUST_laura Oh man that is a little devil child and Iām sorry that your daughter is getting heat for doing the right thing. Actions do cause repercussions. Hoping that this girl will learn from this but unfortunately until the home environment shows this as being wrong then this hatred will continue to grow.
@jennyh I do not think it would be weird at all. If you want to go to the meeting then please do go and get the support for your journey. We all have different paths but the end result is sobriety. Keep working at friend. You are doing great with 12 days!
@tragicfarinelli Ah hell girl ā Iām sorry that this ordeal is still ongoing and they are just pissing about without getting anything done. I do hope it helps to push harder and get the environmental health involved 
@catmancam thanks friend. Sending you energy and love ā hope you are able to get a good nights rest and wake up feeling well rested.
@lighter Glad you are feeling better today! Damn people and just chatting in the pool lanes ā this would make me mad too as I know when I use the public gym pools they have times for laps and time for classes. I would hope to do my laps without interference.
@spgand28 Very sorry to read this Sonia! So sorry for all your loss and sending you big hugs and love. Grateful that you are giving sobriety a go. Ditch that poison is a great attitude to take on and start healing. We will be right here with you! You are not alone. Sending you love right back 
@climbin This is a place for all to come and connect and heal. Feel free to share as much or as little as you want. The threads are full of great advice, love and support so do take what you can to help you on your journey. ODAAT for all of us ā keep climbin as your name suggest!
@mira_d I am sorry Mira. That is stressful indeed. Glad your husbands job is going well. Keep at it ā I know the economy everywhere is rough and it is so difficult to find work. Sending positive energy your way and hope you are able to find something soon. Hopefully you can try to relax and calm yourself to get a good nights rest. A fresh start tomorrow is a great idea 
Checking in on Wednesday night
651 days free of alcohol and weed
1066 days free of cigarettes
Not much to report.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
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You are POSITIVE THOUGHTS for sure! Great post. Thanks for sharing.
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Hi everyone.
Thank you all for contributing your successes and telling us about your days on here. I appreciate the wisdom shared in other threads on here too.
Iām just finishing up another day of hustling without a decent break. Lots of time with my daughter today after work, which is always special. Iām just waiting in her room for her to finish drifting off to sleep.
See you tomorrow. Take care til then.
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Day 962
Today wasnt the greatest day. But it wasnt THAT bad either. Have some financial stuff to take care of in the near future which isnt great. Caused me some anxiety for sure.
I did do a workout which helped a bit. Came home to do my daily cleaning tasks and then picked my son up from the bus. Had a long chat with him bcuz he didnt get invited to a birthday party and he was upset. The location of the party (a trampoline park) i found out isnt wheelchair accessible and to be honest it would be hard for him to participate. But he didnt get invited and he was crying and really upset over it. I comforted him, hugged him, held him, and chatted with him about it. I made sure to validate his feelings (to me thats hugely important). He calmed down and seemed to feel better. We spent the evening looking up accessible activities for kids such as game rooms, bowling, escape rooms, petting farms, the zoo, cinemas, that sort of thing. Just to help him know that there IS things out there for kiddos who have disabilities. Oct 19 we are attending an accessible trick or treat event in a nieghbourhood near our place. Cant wait! I am so grateful to God and so grateful for my recovery, that i can be present with my son and be there for him and his feelings. To me this is one of the greatest gifts of recovery.
Moving forward i also am going to be leading a more spiritual life. Just practicing to be more connected to God and to do His will. I prayed tonight and will continue to do that with my morning routine. I really feel like this will have a huge impact on my life and my recovery. Have a great day/evening TS fam! Hugs
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1944
Last day of my long (6 days) workweek is coming up. Itās a bit much. But Iāll manage and make it as good a day as I can. And expect the same from you all my friends. Sober and clean of course, or nothing would come of it. Much love. Pic is from a hike north of Amsterdam 7 years ago today. Havenāt been there for quite a while. Time to get back.
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150 hard fighting clean and free days!
Today was a good day. Work was chill and got to talk to a lady about here trip to Italy soon and help her get some new gear for it.
Had week 4 tonight in my new group at church. Iām starting to find some ground again in my community. Developing new relationships.
Even some old friends I havenāt spoken to since getting sober hit me up this week. Mended some things out. Felt amazeballs!
My camping trip was awesome but very wet. But I did get some healing time in myself and in the quiet. I left all my past there to die. I embraced and rejoiced in my new life.
This Sunday I get baptized at church. In front of a lot of people I still donāt know. Kind of nervous. But Iām going to speak my heart and tell my story. You never know who is going to hear it and who it can save or change. Maybe someone like the old me might be sitting in that crowd lost with no other options.
Thankful for my sober fam here. You all have been such a great impact in this no matter what our beliefs are. We all come from brokenness and you all have accepted me here. Thank you.
Goodnight sober fam. I gotta get to bed so I can hit day 151 tmrw
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461
Again Im behing with this thread, I hope all good with you my friends. I have time to scroll here a bit almost only early in the morning, when everybodys sleeping, but this thread is growing so fast, impossible to catch up 
Happy that we are such a big strong group of ppl!
On mi side - all under control. I still like my new work, kids are the best, coworkers are not bad too 
I need some motivational kick in the ass. I canāt put myself back in the sport routine.
Kettlebells are all dusty, yoga is just a memoryā¦ Running is almost not happening (for this tho we are both guilty, me and the weather).
Saturday I have race, 10miles! I wasnāt running such a long distances for a while now and Iām not sure how itās gonna be. Definitely slow and hopefully steady. Probably I would pass on this one but my son is also signed in. It will be his first race! 600m (around half of mile). He was signed for one before but he got all scared few days before and he said he doesnāt want to run. Now heās hyped. I juts hope he wonāt get all frustrated and angry when majority of kids will be faster, itās for kids 4-8 yo. He is almost 6. We are putting in his head that result is not so important, important is that he will finish and have fun but you know, kids are kids. Like we - addicts. All or nothing philosophy is strong with this one. I hope he will finish (I know he can cause we are ātrainingā sometimes), get his first real medal, and fall in love with running and races just like his mommy
Edit: I forgot to add that I miss you and you are in my heart 
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@spgand28 So sorry about what happened to your nephew 
And the loss of your aunt and dog Thatās alot at once In my experience, alcohol only prolongs grieving. Taking it out of the equation will allow you to process and move through it naturally. Good to see you back. Sending you strength 
595
Today was aight. Last thing I said to my daughter was be good in school today, and sure enough, I got a call 
She wasnāt in trouble, and they didnāt actually know what was going on between them. They just wanted to let me know something was. I told them I knew and would talk to her again. New territory for me since sheās never caused trouble before. Bc of that, Iāve never really had to punish her so I hope Iām doing things right Grateful to be sober or else Iād probably just yell stupid shit and set some ridiculous punishment I wouldnāt end up enforcing. One time, drunk(and I donāt even remember what she did(nothing to deserve this)), I took her tablet and stomped it and then chucked it across the backyard! Wtf good did that do?! Just wasted my own money 
I canāt believe how quick to anger I was, bc I am not an angry person at all. Itās such a relief to be able to think rationally before reacting and regretting it later. Seriously
So, at work they were mixing the fall drink specials to test them, and since the bar manager is sober, our manager was sampling them. Then she goes, āYum, pour some for Laura to tryā and T goes āShe canāt have any, thereās alcohol in it ā(like, duh), and then she goes āOooh, I didnāt know you were that strict with itā Bitch, how long have you worked with me?! You literally donāt pay attention to anything! Then, another coworker asked if I could drop her off at a bar on my way home. It is on my way home, so I did. Her friend wasnāt there yet so she asked if Iād wait with her until she got there. Being the skeeziest place in town, I agreed. I hadnāt frequented that bar since my ex got banned for life 15 years ago. Wouldnāt you know, all the same damn people were still there! What a sad existence I used to think was āfunā. This guy bought a round for the bar and the bartender skipped right over me bc I said I didnāt drink when I ordered water 
But my coworker says āWhat do you want?ā āNothing.ā(She knows I donāt drink too. Everyone does!). āNot even a little one?ā āDude! I canāt drink. Period.ā Wtf kind of weird temptation day was this?! Except none of it tempting in the least. Nice try universe, but you lose 
Just say no people! 
Itās that easy.
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Just checking in 
Posted on a whatsapp travellers group earlier in search of similar travellers to do the next leg of my roadtrip with (passanger or convoy), see what becomes of it! If not also fine as itāll make focussing on meditation, workout and diet etc easier - whichever way the wind flows for now 
And just checked into a hostel which has a good first impression, where Iāll stay a few days as I check out more of the city and wait for a responseā¦ I received legal advice yesterday, and will finish off and send a formal letter today with deadline to the dodgy mechanic I expect a refund from. He has no excuse or defence. The one yesterday was so helpful in contrast, it really is a hit and missā¦ Car is good to go now though! Cold is also pretty much gone, and pushed myself under a cold starting shower again 
Keep that light of yours shining & working towards your potential whoever and wherever you are right now friend. Odaat. 
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*Day 2206 
Appointment in the hospital today for the crack in my feet This is the 5th week of the injury but I see the swelling is slimming.
So thatās a good thing!
Also a message from my family doctor that he want to ask for a Dexa scan to check the quality of my bones in case of Osteoporosis. Ok, now I feel old! 
But letās add another day sober in the books shall we? Old ore not 
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247
Drinking is not an option 
Public holiday, being in an apartment near work, as I have a full onsite work week and will get back tomorrow after work. Will tryout the public pool later, maybe go at lunch time as people might eat then 
Some selfcare insight and outside today. Found back to Louis L. Hay meditation. Need more routine.
You are loved yea you
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306 days
Another day another waterfall. Rain cleared up and was a really nice day. Got a quick workout in this morning too.
Drive back home tomorrow and then have a busy few days planned with work and family things going on.
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Few days have gone by feeling bloated because I comforted myself with food. Lots of carbs and cheese. Now Iām graving something fresh with loads of veggies.
Today Iām anxious. I was reminded about a task I havenāt done on time. Nothing big and can easily be done later but it made me feel like crap. Felt like this thing defines who I am, terrible person who sucks in everything. I had to really remind myself itās only a thought, that everything is fine and Iām not a bad person. Iām trying to learn self-compassion.
I want to focus on positive things. More gratitude journaling, meditating. What else should I try, any suggestions?
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