Goodmorning from chilly morning Massachusetts on day
23 clean and sober
I took a personal day yesterday from work for my wifes birthday and managed to read and underline a bit in the big book
I went to a little festival and got myself a crystal, my bsby boy a stuffed animal and took my sweetheart out for lunch. I noticed a grilled chicken salad and a cheeseburger with fries cost over 30$. It seems overpriced butbthe service was good. Lots of young people around which is good because id rather see lots of younger people at a festival then running around the streets.
For skme odd reason āmy addicted tramatic selfā wondered if people were selling drugs there because i spent all this money on good thingsā¦ what if the younger crowd were buying bad things. I thought this because i was that younger kid buying bad things at festivals or fairs. Id trick my parents into giving ke koney for the fair, go hungry and bored just because i wasnted some weed. In a nut shell i was 100% lame like a lame horse who is dulled out to everything.
Hey, you know drugs and alcohol fk with mdntal health!!! Go figure
Congrats on the 6 months milestone! And nice streetart, even when itās from Rotterdam. JFYI, The word blij means happy or joyfull. Pronounced the same as the german word for lead (blei).
Day 326. Morning sober fam, yesterday was good. Work was good then after work had a decent ride. Didnt bother with the selfie stick or phone mount, ill just wait till next year i suppose and get a nice go pro or something. One thing i am noticing with the decrease in medicine is that this helped with some of the pain in my lower back, and tightness in my neck. But atm still just going to keep seeing what might be good or bad about it, what im mostly watching for is like the manic effects, or impulsive behavior, when i started the medicine i noticed almost immediately that went away. Yesterday on my ride, i was going by a bar and three older people stopped me. Two ladies and a guy, the two ladies were asking questions and the guy i would see bobble his head literally like the little head bobble toys you put in cars but he would bobble and look at me, then finally he said pshdhdkfjfjdjd and looked back at the girls, i was like yeah man absolutely its so fun. He had twenty dollars in his hand and yeah was just absolutely over the top drunk, he said one more thing to me with his head bobbling, arms wobbling and the lady goes hes drunk, i said really? I couldnāt tell lol, but was like its saturday i get it. But when i left the reflection i had of how that was me was insanse. 7 oclock in the morning id be cracking those beers and by the time the girls got on the bus id have atleast 3 in me. Anyways im off to work much love
1517 days no alcohol.
982 days no cocaine.
12 days no binge-eating.
0 days no vape.
Spent yesterday decompressing from the day before. Caught-up here while I had insomnia. Read a chapter of the book Iām reading, listened to some audiobook. Chilled with the cats.
I tried to get an early night but I couldnāt fall asleep, I slept from 11pm-2am, then from 4-5:30am. I was still tired so I tried for hours to get back to sleep but couldnāt, so I gave up in the end. Maybe tonight will be better.
I hope youāre all having wonderful sober weekends.
Sunday morning hello.
Grateful my daughter is sleeping in a bit this morning, so I could prep her breakfast, review the to-do list, have a few quiet minutes, and pop on here to write these thoughts down. Glad I had a decent sleep, thanks to me staying responsible these days.
We have a full day, with music class, followed by a big family gathering starting at lunch. My wife is still on a stretch of working overnights, sleeping during the day. Not much time out of any of my days is easy, but I am handling it all, and investing in the future with every bit of effort.
185 days sober
Every year I throw a surprise birthday party for all my friends here who donāt know when their birthdays are or what year they were born in. Today I had everyone over (was about 20 of us!) we had a great time together having our party and hanging out. My favorite is that everyone says something they are thankful for this year and I really enjoy hearing this. I shared I am thankful for being sober 6 months. Now Iām tired out and needing some antisocial time. I love hosting these things but large groups always takes the energy out of me.
I went for a 2 hour walk in the woods. I needed it, cleared my thoughts. It made me tired and I took a nap. I did some journaling and meditating. I also made a meal plan for next week and bought groceries. Although Iāve been anxious and frustrated today my mindset is better than week ago. Two weeks AF.
Day 966
Morning everyone! Well technically its almost noon here lol. Im currently at work for the last shift of the week. Its going okay. STILL experiencing some anxiety over that situation. Im not liking this at all. Honestly tho, i have no control over the outcome so I just have to do what I can and hope for the best. Its sort of an āit is what it isā scenerio.
Im looking forward to the week ahead tho. Getting back to the gym and having a bit of me time during the day. I really dont have alot to do this week so hoping to take it a bit easier. Do some extra cleaning, maybe do a meditation here n there, have a nice bath, or have a nap lol. Idkā¦ whatever comes to mind. Really hoping everyone is doing well in their own personal journies. Many hugs to u all
Congratulations on 2 weeks!! Sounds like ur making progress way to go! My anxiety has been high lately too. I think I might go for a nice nature walk thru the park next week. Thank u for the idea!
Checking in!
Today I was off, and I started as always; nice relaxed breakfast and after that I got my place cleaned up (nobody else does it for meā¦). People, including my mom, make fun of that, because I have this routine and they think itās funny, but I want to get it done first thing.
Today we had a market in town, itās the 25th edition, itās an annual thing. People sell handcrafted stuff, and the town gets packed with people from all over the island, itās really popular. I decided to walk into town to check it out (alone) and people were walking towards me with wine glasses in their hands. I got to one of the streets were all the wine stands were, people drinking everywhere. I met someone I know, he greeted me with an effin wine bottle in his hand, telling me he āreally needed a drinkā. Man, today I realized once again, that booze is king! People donāt know how to party without it, at least in Western society!
Then my friend called me, I wasnāt into answering, the thing is, she didnāt realize she didnāt hang up the phone correctly, and I got a recorded message as a voice mail; āYes, I would like to order a glass or rose pleaseā. Same story againā¦ thatās why I didnāt want to answer, sheās an avid drinker. Feeling frustrated!! Sorry for the rambling, if anyone got this far!
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I requested a seat with my booking but it didnāt give me any, and Iām wondering if it was because it gave me whatās called a āsplit saveā option, where you show different tickets along the journey, so Iām not going to go with that option next time, I will just get an off-peak day travel card and hopefully get seats, then it would definitely be much better 
way to go! My anxiety has been high lately too. I think I might go for a nice nature walk thru the park next week. Thank u for the idea!
). People, including my mom, make fun of that, because I have this routine and they think itās funny, but I want to get it done first thing.