@butterflymoonwoman How are you doing? I’m sorry that having to review past finances has been so triggering and emotional. Do know that you have come a LONG way from those days. You are putting in some incredible efforts each day for your recovery and have made amazing strides. You are present for yourself, your husband and your son. Working diligently on your health (mental, physical and emotional). Please keep this in mind as the weeks ahead will be rough as you wait for the results. Big hugs love Just saw your latest post - Hoping that the self care and meditation help change your mindset @wahtisnormal Hey Zoe – you are doing great with your sober days! I can relate to your post in many ways. Just keep working on your health and try not to focus on the weight loss – it will come (I have to remind myself of this daily). Are you able to join any meet ups in the area to maybe do something that interests you and possibly meet new people? @seb I do hope that tomorrow is better Sorry that the exercises aren’t helping so far. Sending healing vibes your way! @soberwalker Oh man that’s awful about the schedule WTF– glad you stood up for yourself and happier still that they fixed it. Good for you! @acromouse Congrats on 6 months no UPF! That is awesome Have fun at the performance – glad it is going so well. @collins WOW – congrats to you! That is an impressive achievement @CATMANCAM that’s a solid plan for your future trips and I do hope that having a secured seat helps with the journey. @lighter Here if you want to talk about it. Sending you big hugs my friend and fall vibes :jack-o-lantern: @raspberry Congrats on your 2 weeks. Such a lovely way to spend the day! @Bomdhil You ok Thomas? Been a while since i’ve seen a check in.
Checking in on Sunday afternoon
655 days free of alcohol and weed
1070 days free of cigarettes
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Yep, that‘s why I ditched sugar. It was just too much for me, my body, my mental health, everything. When it started ruling my life and my days I had to find a way to get off that train.
Checking in day 1 & this time this is it for me. I can’t keep doing this, I’m so annoyed with myself but the only thing I can do now is move forward and promise to myself that I will never again be in this position.
Welcome back to the community Pamela
Great work on starting day 1. Stay connected here! As a community we can support each other and help stay the course. ODAAT
Thank you. Have been here so many times before. But I have to learn this time. And that’s it, no ifs, no buts. I will completely destroy my life if I keep going on this way. If I can’t learn from this then there’s no hope for me. I’m not sure what I can do differently except this time feels different. I’ve built up so many good things in my life and I’m on the cusp of destroying it all. So it just has to stop. I know I can do it and I know if I don’t then that’s it for me. This is a massive wake up call. And Im not letting this happen again.
Bad day. First, stupid argue in the morning. “Why there is nothing to eat!? What are YOU buying that I am paying so much for but there is nothing to eat?!” blah blah blah. Mind the fact, big grocery shopping we are making together. But man, we have bread, eggs, butter, few types of cheese, ham, cucumber etc. What else do you need for breakfast? Yoghurt and oat flakes we have also. It’s like, he has to make a problem even if there is none. Then another big problem - I ruined his Saturday with my stupid run… That he won’t drive me anywhere ever again. It was such a fun and this piece of shit was complaining that it was time wasted. Then he left to do some small work and when he was back he was all “why you are upset? Don’t be angry for nothing. Don’t make scenes”. My scenes was that I didn’t want to kiss him or cuddle. I had to take diazepam to not make a real scene and then I went for a walk. It was great! Sun was shining and I listen to some podcast. He watched something with boys cause I don’t think he can do anything else with them. Fuck him. Fuck him!!!
And now I am the bad guy cause I don’t want to let it go. That I should forget about it (he just want to have sex, I don’t think he cares how I actually feel). But I can’t smoke few cigs, drink some beers and just let it go. Today I actually miss it. I miss getting numb. I won’t drink or smoke tho. I’m gonna sleep and I’m happy the weekend is over cause I’m gonna see him less.
I should probably post in some other thread, sorry.
Oh my friend Today sounded like an incredibly rough day. Ur always welcome to post here. Thats what the check in thread is for. I really feel for u tho bcuz I get it. He sounds like he is being an incredibly negative person today or is projecting his frustrations onto you which isnt okay. Theres no need to treat u like that. I truly hope that ur week ahead is alot more optimistic, peaceful, and that u are able to relax without feeling critisized. Sending hugs ur way.
@JazzyS thank you my friend. Summer is kinda getting to me. It won’t leave! And yeah, facing some uncomfortable stuff from the past now. Ready to let it go. My life is about to get busier and much better. This is the rebuilding part that is painful at times.
Having a nice relaxed Sunday. This week will be good! Need to get excited about working for myself again. It’s been a while. Lots to work on. Going to do a resume for contract tech work as well. I’ve got a lot of hats over all this time . I’m sure I’ll be ok. Just need to keep going and stay sober.
This is the perfect place to post. I’m so sorry friend. He sounds like he’s having issues with his using and taking it out on you. I’m sorry that he is being so awful and then expecting you to just take it and let it go. I would not be so easy to let that behavior go.
Being numb will not help take this away. I’m glad you are going to try and sleep and try to recenter yourself. Sending you love and hugs.
My heart goes out to you and I’m really sorry that this is your real life. It’s not at all fair on his part any of it. And why can’t he go to the grocery store and buy something, ??, but you had everything there he could possibly want, what was it that he wanted that you didn’t have for breakfast?
He should be proud of you and Sacha for being in the race.
I forget what it is that he’s using whether it is a drug or whether it’s alcohol. Not that it matters.
You are a nice productive person.
I’m not a super advocate of people divorcing when they have small children. Yes in general, many of us are scarred because of the way our upbringing was in dysfunctional homes. I get that.
I’m glad that you are working. I would say go forward in a way that if you ever needed to, or wanted to, you would be able to support yourself and your children.
I don’t know what the laws are over there, etc., I don’t know if it would ever be possible.
And think hard ‘what would make a change here’?
If you can think of nothing that would make the change, keep that in your considerations for your and your children’s futures.
Big hugs for you and lots of love. It’s serious abuse and again it’s your real life right now, and it’s what you have to deal with, I’m sorry.
I’m glad that you came on and posted. Come on and post anytime you feel like it. You have support here, you have people who love you, and are respectful of you, here.
keep having love and respect for your own self and doing what you can for your own sanity and independence.
Good morning everyone,
This is my 4th day and its 5am here, Not getting enough sleep and I thought will wake up and continue to learn my course for one hour and after i can take my dog for a 30 minutes walk.
Making my morning coffee myself, when i make myself stay away from alcohol, im getting more energy to concentrate on building my skills and im grateful for that.
Hope you all doing well !!!
I’m wrapping up day 12 and today has been another more positive day for me! I didn’t have to nap, which was nice. Seems that the full exhaustion phase is subsiding or could be just isn’t as bad because I dont work weekends. Either way, my mood has been more stable and I am pumped to be approaching 2 weeks! Cravings are less, energy is better. My stomach is leveling out. I’m down 12 pounds!
Keep your heads up people. We’re all in this together. Thank you everyone.
I might be in luck and not have to wait too long after all as it’s my vehicle registration, not drivers license that needs renewing. Hopefully I can get everything done and leave this week already in that case! Looking forward to it actually, although I’ve made some good friends at the hostel and love seeing cities, they’re not my home
I’m doing good, thank you Jasmine! My nephew’s funeral service was peaceful. The family is holding it together otherwise. I also got my dog’s paw print picked up.
Trying to get back on the fitness and nutrition wagon. I have my breakfast, lunch, and snacks all packed up for work tomorrow.
Back to work this morning. I didn’t sleep too bad. Writing it down reminds me of the past, waking up from a semicoma on Monday morning hungover, sick, with a headache, tired, exhausted from the afternoon and Sunday evening spend drinking at a bar, time and money wasted getting drunk. Never again. One day at a time.
Instead yesterday I was up in time to visit the town before it was flooded with people, did some shopping, afterwards did some house chores, cuddled Luna, watched some sports and a movie, ate a good meal, talked to my friend online and was in bed in time to get up at 5 am and feel pretty good. Sober and clean.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come from it. Sorry for some hard Sundays I read about here. Please be absolutely sure drinking or using or indulging in addictive behaviour would make it all just much worse. Love from my town.
Nice My favorite past time @Pamela Welcome back @Mischa84 I know men like that. Make you feel like you aren’t enough. Put you in the spotlight to get themselves out of it. Insecure little boys. Sorry you’re living with that Hard as it sounds, somedays it’s easier to just let it go to make it thru to tomorrow. Sending strength and wishing you better days
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The odd Sunday off I planned to get everything in order to prepare for the phone calls I need to make tomorrow, but in my usual fashion, avoided it by doing other things and ‘saving it til last’ until I ran out of time. At least the house is clean.
Now back to this bullshit My 6 month car insurance payment is due again and absolutely nothing has been done to remedy the false claim on my account. Yet again, I’m supposed to pay $1,400 instead of the $700 I normally owe. Doing this in April screwed me over so bad I never recovered(along with the other bizarre financial hits I took). I can’t even pay it! I’m about to open a new credit card. I need to go hard on these people to get this fixed, and I need to find out how I’ll be reimbursed. Since the incident occurred in '22, I’ve probably overpaid by at least $2,000 and I want that shit back! Idk if they plan to credit me or return it. A credit sounds okay…as I wouldn’t have payments for quite a while, but I actually really need money to back me right now, from teetering on and off living paycheck to paycheck. I’ve been trying not to worry, but it’s been wearing me down all year. Making progress on this situation is my only goal for the next 2 days I have off. Argh!!! I really hate making these type of phone calls! Time to swallow the frog Hope you all have a great start to your week
Just saw your latest post - Hoping that the self care and meditation help change your mindset 
Sorry that the exercises aren’t helping so far. Sending healing vibes your way!
Have fun at the performance – glad it is going so well.
:jack-o-lantern:
What do u think could help u this time around?
. I’m sure I’ll be ok. Just need to keep going and stay sober.
My favorite past time 
I planned to get everything in order to prepare for the phone calls I need to make tomorrow, but in my usual fashion, avoided it by doing other things and ‘saving it til last’ until I ran out of time. At least the house is clean.
My 6 month car insurance payment is due again and absolutely nothing has been done to remedy the false claim on my account. Yet again, I’m supposed to pay $1,400 instead of the $700 I normally owe. Doing this in April screwed me over so bad I never recovered(along with the other bizarre financial hits I took). I can’t even pay it! I’m about to open a new credit card. I need to go hard on these people to get this fixed, and I need to find out how I’ll be reimbursed. Since the incident occurred in '22, I’ve probably overpaid by at least $2,000 and I want that shit back! Idk if they plan to credit me or return it. A credit sounds okay…as I wouldn’t have payments for quite a while, but I actually really need money to back me right now, from teetering on and off living paycheck to paycheck. I’ve been trying not to worry, but it’s been wearing me down all year. Making progress on this situation is my only goal for the next 2 days I have off. Argh!!! I really hate making these type of phone calls! Time to swallow the frog 
Hope you all have a great start to your week