Thank you!
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We are hiring!!!
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Tell me more about the commute from central Europe 
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I got an extra bedroomā¦i will even drive you to work! It will all work out.
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Today I am grateful for:
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another day sober by the grace of God and AA
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for my kids staying with me last night and a wonderful devotional with them in person!
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that I get to see my daughterās athletics today
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that the hurricane dropped its intensity before landfall.
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for the opportunity of meeting with my sponsor tonight.
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that itās Friday!!
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Thank you give it a couple of days and Iām sure Iāll be feeling better . Iām Picking Darcy up today and seeing her school work no time to be Sick today .I hope I donāt pass my germs onš·
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Ugh hey 330am why do people (ex) send songs say things to idk make you feel like there is hope or they still care? I have given up on stuff like that for now. That is what im trying to tell myself but i feel asleep crying and sad alone again. Keep telling myself this shall pass too. When i ask? When i find someone new lol . Idk i close my eyes still a even thou its over i see a future with her. Why never been so hurt and in pain like this in my life . You ask for advice and idk it like they tell you what they think you want to hear. Or just say move on. Lol ok thats easy 
maybe at a time in my life where all i did was make bad choices but today im not trying to do that. Like relapsing. Finding someone or something to make me feel better for the moment. This really sucks ! Its lonely, depressing and hurtful. Well hopefully it will make me or both of us more beautiful than we already are. I cant predict the future, nor go back in the past so just for today.( Odaat ) i will try to be good to myself 
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Checking in day 207.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
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Day 1392,
Started on my sons relax room, he is almost 18 so hope it can be a room for me as wel to retreat meditate, but most important is what he wants 
. Ended up dating again, with a different mindset then ever before. Practice, practice, practice need to watch my boundaries and limit the number of dates 
. Invited a woman from a group of new people I see regularly during activities for a theatre show for which I received free tickets. She apps my each day since I asked her, might need to manage some expectations there, which would be something new to do. Priority Mantra: my recovery and discovery (practice, action), my son, discovering further work direction, dating with an open mind with no fast intimacy except maybe kissing orā¦is that also not allowed well practice is practice . Set another boundaries to my mother, she wanted something from me fast so it would get out of her head, thatās fine but not if it messes with my head Iām not responsible for her feelings, told her when and how Iāll do it so that should be fine 
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Day 331. Didnt go for my ride after work yesterday, it was windy and not that nice out. Just hung out with heather and had a nice evening. Not much going on today, waiting for my girls after workā¦ happy friday much love to all
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Im not sure what going on with me. I wanna drink. I wanna get drunk. Im done with this boring and busy life. Iām burned out. Every second I must do something yet nothing is done. I do nothing just for myself. Nothing is up to me. I want to get drunk, I want to stay in bed hangovered, I want everyone to fuck off.
I hate my life.
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Oh man thatās a lot going on and honestly you know getting drunk is not going to solve anything.
Are you able to cut back on any of your new activities so you can give yourself some āmeā time. This is whatās needed most right now 
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I know sometimes things just keep piling up and it feels impossible to get out from under them. You are a strong woman. I do hope you are able to take a breather and rest. You want from taking care of your toddlers all day everyday to teaching youngins without taking time to enjoy the break of having your kids in school. Kids are amazing but they do require a LOT of energy. Hopefully you will find a balance so you can recharge your batteries
Sending love and here if you need to talk / vent it out. 
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Day
520 no alcohol
28 no firm of marijuanna
160 no form nicotine
Just taking steps and praying as i go through the day
Just tsking it moment by moment
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That is some hell of a fuck it mode youāre in. Glad you vented it out here, are you also able to vent it out with someone in person? Drinking only will make things worse, but you know that. Howās your HALT, and sometimes itās just a shit day you can do nothing about just let it beā¦.a walk perhaps to clear your head, a big virtual hug
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I feel thatās the one. Hang in there and donāt drink. Think of ways to give yourself a tiny little bit of space. Youāre not alone friend. Weāre with you. Iām with you. Right here for you if you need it. X
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Day 224
Slept a lot. Feel better. Off to the pool to exercise. Before it gets hot. 
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TGIF!! Happy Friday my friends.
Another sober day and day 5/30 without caffeine.
Going to be in the 80s here in Chicagoland. Not bad for October.
MAKE it an awesome day.
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190 days sober
Yesterday was sooo busy. I finished up with all the work stuff yesterday and then went to an AA meeting for the first time which was in interesting experience for me. By time I got in I was too tired to do much and had an early night.
Today has been spent wrapping up a few loose ends and organizing our trip home tomorrow. Iām looking forward to that. Iām glad today was more chill I was needing it. Also am glad to go home tomorrow. I donāt do well in cities and this is too much city for me! I did get to go see some friends today and get some visits in which was nice but I didnāt get to see everyone I wanted. It would have been too much socializing for me.
Iām really glad this work trip ended well and also in time.
Not looking forward to a cramped and long car ride tomorrow and have a bit of anxiety about the roadā¦I hear the pass is getting a lot of snow tonight so worried about the road conditions.
Anyways hope everyone is having a good sober day!
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@acromouse You were right about not worrying too much - a migrane kicked in an hour ago. I will thus not go to the meeting, my spouse will have to go alone. So no discussions with weird-headed waiters for me tonight 
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Migraines suck. I am very sorry you have to suffer through that. Hope it goes away soon 
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