Thank you will see
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A haunted asylum sounds terrifying! And fun! Let me know how it is
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605
I was exhausted all day 
Idk if my bodyās fighting something bc my daughterās had the mildest cold symptoms all week, or bc Iāve worked morning shifts all week and Iām not used to it 
Work was super lame for 4 hours and then an hour before I was supposed to leave, BAM
80 guys come off the course after a tournament I didnāt know I was to take care of! They sat on the patio so I had to go up and down the stairs about 50 times in 2 hours, and it was so cold outside my hands were purple! I canāt wait til the patio closes 
Layed down after work but didnāt sleep before heading to my parents to have cake for my momās birthday. It was nice, but everything just felt like such a chore today 
Hoping to feel better tomorrow so work is easier and bc my daughter wants to have a friend sleepover since thereās no school Monday. Ugh! I really just want to come home and be able to relax after my work week. I better get rested up. Hope you all have a good Sunday 
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And youāre still going to live. Itās the question of where and with what. Iām really sorry. I hope youāll find available help resources near you and some other assistance until youāre able to help your self better. Iām really really sorry. Itās heartbreaking. Iāve thought before that I could be a step away from homelessness. All you can do is deal one day at a time. I hope there will be breakthroughs and assistance for you and your child( children).
You are going to live. Keep that thought. Youāre getting better every day. Youāll get back in your old groove some time and this will be temporary ( whatever changes you have to make).
To your good health, a roof over your head, and food to eat.
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Checking in 188 days sober.
My husband and mom are drinking tonight, my mom had a lot. Ugggg. Itās annoying. Iām hiding out in the other room cuddling and watching tv with one of my kids. Otherwise the day was good. Had a house full of highschoolers getting ready for the homecoming dance this evening.
Hope everyone has a good night! Iāll stay sober tonight.
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1954
No dreams I can remember this night. Working Sunday ahead. Thatās OK. Itās windy and fresh but most of the wet weather already passed. Iām going to make today the best I can and expect the same from all of you my friends. Sober and clean. One day at a time. Love.
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It helps me to try and tap into the reasons I feel this way @Cjp so I can (try) to feel compassion and mend some little bits to take the power out of it. 
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@Noshame I dont have specific advice cause I dont know your wife and how you guys share responsibilities at home but what is important for me is to have some chill relax time just for myself. Take your kid for a walk. Tell her to spend that time doing nothing, just watch tv, read a book etc. Not to use that time to fold the laundry or whatever. At least this is something that saves my sanity, and lack of it (hubby works a lot, when kids are in kindergarten im at work) is killing me lately. Just give her some time. Change diaper sometimes. Take kid away from her so she can eat in peace. For me - those things are way more important than letting me go to beauty salon once in a month. Just be present and do stuff around. Maybe you are already doing it. Having small kid is exhausting. I hear it gets easier and Iām naively waiting for that time 
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Iāve been doing repairs at my parentās 
, but now my back feels broken. Sometimes I feel old. But no drinks. Day 314.
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326 sugar
190 UPF
64 gluten
64 dairy
On the road since 6am. Itās been quite a while since I did a longer car trip. Iām travelling with my mum and hope to reach my destination in the afternoon.
Peace and love for life 
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471
Kinderbal today! Friends daughter had 4th bday so we all go to indoor playground to celebrate. Iām happy my boys are so ābigā already to go and play alone, that I donāt have to climb with them etc cause those monkey town parties were exhausting when they were younger 
So we gonna have time to chat and drink coffee with other mommyās. Before we were meeting quite often, once in a week or two. Now? Maybe once in 3minths. Everybody so busyā¦
Yesterday I woke up very early, went for a run. Later in the evening made full body wo with kettlebell (finally!) and sat in a cold water for 2min afterwards. Iām in a much better place mentally today. I miss my routine. I have to stick to it! To my fitness routine and checking in here. Otherwise bad things happens 
Love you people, have a good day here, have a good night there and ofcourse have a great Tuesday in Australia
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Day 80. Iām so busy lately, particularly at weekends where my kids have me busy with ātaxi runsā to kids parties, clubs, rehearsals ect
I wouldnāt have been able to manage if I was in the place I was in one time. Iām finding that Iām at times double booked and desperately trying to keep everything going & keep everyone happy but thatās a story for another day.
I know this is just a period of time where everything is coming at once, a day will come when I can look back and say I was present and there when my family needed me so Iām taking it all as a positive.
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7 days, awesome! Iām happy your friend didnāt pressure you. Those are the type of people in our lives we want to keep.
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*Day 2217š¶āāļø
Had some cravings last night.
Yes, 6 years sober but the mind falls back into his old path when your mental state isnāt good.
I know it works that way and prepared enough during the years I know what to do to not cave in.
So I told my hubby about the cravings, put my electric blanket on to feel a bit more cozy on the couch and made myself a hot chocolat with loads of sugar. It helped a bit but enough to get the edge of. Iām feeling sorry for myself and that irritates me at the same time. Thereās a moaning child in me who wouldnāt shut up. So I try to listen to it and give it some comfort 
Collected a milestone yesterday Iām proud at:
1 year no social media! No Facebook ore Instagram! I do not miss it much.
Today? Finishing my painting project, some reading and maybe some Lego. Becoming a nerd now
Have a good day ore night TS people!
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Hey @SoberWalker some nights I will put myself to bed at 8.30pm. I play with the kittens first to wear them out then I just get cosy and ready my kindle in bed with a sleepy tea (Ahmed Sleep tea). My brain wonāt stop and my inner child is throwing shapes, so I know I need to take away any stimulus and just rest and self soothe. Itās not sad to be a nerd 
or to go to bed earlyā¦ Whatever you gotta do. Itās important to know that everything is temporary, and that is ok to treat and be safe in yourself. You will be crossfitting before the year is out 
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Thank you for the surportive words
This is me indeed. My brain is telling me Iām too old to crossfit and I will never return to it. The doctor asked for a Dexa scan to check if I have osteoporose. Well if I have that then I canāt do such a sport. Butā¦thinking about all that isnāt going to help I know. I have to focus on rest now and how to get trough this sober and mentally stabile 
Amen to that
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Day 21 AF, 2 weed free. Iām currently in a really dark place. My latest relapse with weed really messed my head. Iām again full of fear and doubt and I donāt know how Iām gonna survive from this nightmare. Everything is just so dark and black, I canāt see any light at all. And the worst part is that if Iād smoked some, Iād feel instantly better, but the aftermath would be terrible, so staying sober is the only option. I wanna feel better and be happy again. Oh God, why do I have to suffer from this terrible disease? Why canāt I be normal and stable, to be able to enjoy of life and its little joys? Oh well, one day at a time.
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Because nobody is my friend. There is no objective normality and there is no real stability. Lifeās always in flux. And weed withdrawal can be brutal. It can really mess with your mind. Hang in there and I promise you it will be better. One day, one hour at a time.
Also, if thereās one thing I learned in my work as a mental health nurse itās not to say āact normal!ā to anybody. Their normal is totally different from mine. Always. Keep going, youāre doing much better than you think 
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Thank you so much for your comforting message. Yeah, weed is a really dangerous drug despite of what celebrities etc. say. And thanks for the image, it really gives me some perspective. Now I just gotta stay strong and wait that the withdrawal symptoms are over.
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