Day 10
Sore from yesterday’s workout but got after it again today. I am not sleeping well but I am not waking with regrets and shame. Donated blood today and my vitals were very good. Hope everyone has a great evening. 
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@CATMANCAM thank you my friend. Congratulations for withdrawal off your psychotropic medications
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Checking in after more strenuous, manual labor. This time I spent the last two days trimming a massive amount of overgrown azaleas. There were times I was literally down on my knees crawling underneath the plants to cut out parts that had gone bad. I’m exhausted, but I loved it! I love being outside and I love working with my hands in nature, bringing shape and beauty back so it can be shared with passersby.
I’m nearing 11 months since my relapse. I had over 4 years under my belt before that. ODAAT though, right?
I remember my first time getting into a recovery program and getting clean. It was April of 2015. I got my first chip and that became my focus. I was so focused and caught up with the “time clean” thing that I hit a year no problem, but then the years/months/days started to get to me and a little after 13 months I relapsed. After that I decided I’d put too much emphasis on “time clean”, milestones, and chips that it was more like a game or competition than it was real life. My life forever more.
Disregarding the milestones, etc. didn’t work either, but it taught me something: it really doesn’t matter that much what I put my focus on or not unless I accept that I’m an addict and that I can either be an active addict or a sober one. Ultimately it’s my choice.
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I’m sorry Thomas! Read your gratitude - did the outing at church help with this? We are just seconds away friend. I am sending you strength as you get past this hump. Do know that this will pass and you will be stronger for not caving. We got your back friend! ODAAT 
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Congrats on your double digits! 
and also having good vitals - that is awesome! Keep going strong
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I loved this! A great reminder for us all. rest up - sounds like a hard day in the garden. Bet the Azaleas look beautiful.
Congrats on your upcoming 11 months of sobriety!
Are you off the using merry-go-round?
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OH that’s beautiful! Congrats friend! So happy for you.
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Day 3, avoiding bad environments is exhausting. I think I’m coming down with a cold. My temper is shorter than usual, so, I rage baked today lol . What else is a girl to do? Made some spinach artichoke dip puff pastrys, some brie stuffed puff pasterys with chai infused whipped cream with a little caramel drizzle, and biscuts. Im too tired to be pissed now and have a full belly so truly I can’t complain.
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It is exhausting at first …keep working on staying sober…this is your main priority 
. Rage baking sounds awesome and delicious. yummy treats youve made. Do whatever you can to stay busy…the urges pass and the anger lessens. Stay connected friend…3 days is amazing! ODAAT 
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Any leftovers can be sent my way, please and thank you very much 
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Checking in day 486 AF.
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So glad to see you posting here every day. I know I sound like a broken record… anxiety lessens if you focus on gratitude. Journal the good stuff you are feeling. Post in the gratitude topic here. I promise this habit really works. You are doing terrific and I always love to see you here! YOU CAN DO THIS!
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11 months is amazing!
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Wow so positive. Thanks for sharing. I pray the law enforcement job comes through for you! Also glad you weren’t badly hurt in accident.
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1957
One more day of work before a four day weekend. Right now I don’t really feel it but I’ll make it work. Grateful I didn’t drink last night. Grateful I won’t drink today. Never again.
Let’s make today as good a day as we all can friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come of it. We’re in this together. Love from my little square.
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You are my true hero Laner. I will pray all my prayer power for you to get what you need for your goals
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Oh ya! Thanks for before and beautiful after pics!
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Day 247
Spent a couple hours at the hospital this morning, another test out the way. See brain surgeon in around 2 weeks to see where we go from there.
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