I’m feeling a really similar way right now. just know it’s not worth it 6 months is a huge milestone and that proves you can push through. you withstood 28 years, you can take it until you’re able to get out, but you’re making steps in the right direction, don’t turn around now
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@lisa_lou_who Congrats on your 2+ months Lisa! Sorry for all the emotions. They really do spew out all at once. SO right that in the past we kept them hidden or buried. Remember that we are here if you need to talk and crying is ok - very cathartic and healing. Sending hugs your way. Keep working on your recovery!
@Pamela It is hard being around friends who only know how to have fun drinking. I have friends that drink but the ones that did nothing but are no longer my friends (I had to make that decision for my own safety as I knew that eventually I would lower my guard and give in). You are on day 12. That is fantastic but it is also super early to be putting yourself in these situations where you have to make the hard decisions. Your body is still detoxing and cleansing itself and that takes a lot of energy in itself. This is just my opinion - of course you know yourself best but I just don’t see the point of facing so many triggers when you haven’t built a foundation or yourself with support and tools to keep you from listening to the addict voice. Keep kicking ass friend - you are about to hit your 2 week milestone!
@SadMemeQueen I am relieved that your body has healed from the pneumonia and the kidney tones. I am sorry to hear about your spine and still having to deal with the undiagnosed issues. It is frustrating as hell and I know some days are much worse than others. I wish I had anything better to say than stay positive that something will change. That you will find a doctor who listens and is able to help. Don’t give up hope! Wishing you luck with the disability. That truly is a nightmare
@butterflymoonwoman OOH Halloween will be this weekend for you! Excited for you all - hope the little man has a wonderful time. Love his gift and the wrapping – gotta share how he enjoyed unwrapping that present.
@wahtisnormal WOOHOO! 6 months girl – that is AWESOME!!! 
Oh man i’m sorry for the rush of emotions and all that mental anguish you are dealing with. I know that things seem hopeless right now and out of your control. Keep having faith that things have to change as you are putting in the efforts by getting yourself clean of all toxins and working your ass off - doing all the right steps. It just takes time. This is hard at times as I know how frustrating it can be to put in all the effort and not see anything budge for months on end. We gotta keep going love. Look at you with 6 months! how far you’ve come Sending hugs and love your way! Hope you have a better evening. 
Checking in on Thursday evening
666 days free of alcohol and weed
1081 days free of cigarettes
It’s been an interesting day. Managed to get more done than I expected which is nice. I did my workouts and my afternoon walk. Not sure if I like this new schedule LOL – I enjoyed starting the day with a walk and workout but now with the super cold mornings it is harder to get out and get moving.
Happy that I did sell another piece of large furniture. My parents are getting more of their space back.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
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thank you. I’m really trying to hold onto hope. if I could just get the new doctor to answer my calls I’ve met herand she seemed really nice. she’s kind of my final hope right now
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Glad you met her and liked her. Stay persistent! Sometimes it takes being pushy to get seen or get answers. Wishing you luck with getting through to her 
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@JennyH What great news! I wouldn’t know how to feel either going thru those ups and downs! Just glad you’re both okay
@mxelle Nice to see you Mel 
@Butterflymoonwoman My parents did that to me, and tbh, I don’t even remember the gift(30yrs later), but I’ll never forget how funny it was to unwrap 
Your son will love it!
@wahtisnormal Congrats on 6 months! Great job! I know how much inconsistent finances suck. I was lucky tonight with a great table, but who knows tomorrow 
Gotta save when you can, which is something I need to work on myself. Just keep working towards what you want and you can make it happen
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I got a new credit card and the chip doesn’t work! 
Machines make you try at least 3 times before letting you use the magstrip, so that’s annoying. I have the NFC option for contactless payments with my phone, but with everything that’s happened, the last thing I wanna do is load my credit card anywhere! Now there’s another phone call I don’t want to make 
I miss the simpler times.
My boss offered the night off to those working and I was glad 2 servers volunteered bc there was only 1 big table that was totally worth it for me. Even if it wasn’t, I need the hourly at this point. I should start winding down. I got work in the morning and need to leave early to pick up my friend bc her car’s broke. Can’t be late! Happy Friday 
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You should be able to simply request a new card through the issuer’s website/app? Saves you having to battle a 
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Oh I know it! Bribery is a known form of payment here but I always try to go about it without bribes first. Sometimes it works but usually I end up having to just give in. Keeps life interesting!
Hope you’re feeling better today!
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Got my tickets for the London concert so I’m all things iron Maiden for the next 9 months… It’s too long to wait 
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1488 - 1 more shift and then 10 nights off. No plans, no responsibilities, no lost days because of drugs and alcohol.
10 days felt like an eternity when I first tried to get sober but now it’s a case of how many good memories can I cram into freedom.
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@Pamela and @Mno I was always scared of never drinking again. Until I encountered this thought concept. It is sort of a game changer for me and so much less scary. I just don’t drink today and say no to that first drink. I am glad I found this community, because I learned that here. Thank you! 
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1959
Talking therapy this morning. I’m not ready to lose her yet. I did contact two more body oriented therapists to see if maybe they and what they offer can mean something for me. But for today Maaike it is.
I slept OK. Lots of dreams but not bad ones. Just strange ones as dreams go. I got the weekend off as well, I have no real plans yet. Try to write a bit. Move my body some. Maybe meet a friend.
Last night was fun, meeting some old buddies for a meal. It’s an old Thursday night tradition, where we used to get plastered and I had to go to work hungover and reeking of alcohol the next morning. Never again. Now it was just old friends eating and chatting. And getting up sober and clean on a Friday morning planing to have as good a day as we all can. Just as I expect from all of you. Love.
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Hey today seem to be a better day than i have had in a long time. Catch some fish my dad and my brother from another mother. I sould be happier i should be idk it was a good day tho. When we where on the water i was thinking to myself even tho my ex has moved on and im goin thro so much i was just thinking dont know if someone will come along or not but if i was going to meet someone new i dont do fb or dating apps no more so lost doin my best to stay strong snd make good choices hope i can keep it together finding a person that will stand by my side not put me throu a ringer like i have been throu idk but hope dr appointment goes well tomorrow fingers crossed ps. Didnt have my glasses on last night when i wrote this lol had to edit after reading this morning
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Yeah I need to make more sober friends. Would definately make things easier.
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@Mischa84 @Dazercat @Mno @SoberWalker @Kareness Thank you, fam. Means a lot. I’m proud of you, too. I’m proud of everyone here.
Day 1097
It was my day off today. Didn’t do much. Went to PT and hung out with the fam. Watched some episodes of Jurassic World Chaos Theory with my eldest.
I’ll catch up with y’all in a bit. Much love. ODAAT. Take care
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321 days
Had a doctors appointment for my youngest. Shes 6 but man shes had some medical issues. From the time she was born shes had some major surgeries and hospital stays. She also has regular hearing and eye appointments.
She amazes me with how resilient and tough she is. Shes never lets anything hold her back.
Just wish she could catch a break sometime. Shes ok right now but found out she’s likely going to need more surgeries in a few years.
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Hi friends- checking in on 933 today.
It’s been a bit of a stressful week. But I made some new friends today at a local running club, which is huge for me, I’m very good at socially isolating myself.
Have a holiday with the family booked next weekend, 1 week in Bali to destress and boy do we need it. I’m really looking forward to a rest. I’ve been filled with anxiety this week.
Hope you are all well, catching up reading. Take care, happy Friday 
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*Day 2222 
Well this must be super lucky day Number 2 is my favorite number and here’s 4 of them! Worked hard for every one of them. I never forget my early days, how hard they where. I will never forget my relapses and how angry and depressed they made me. I will never forget the hangovers, the black outs, my worried husband, my shame and regrets, my promises wich I broke. Never again!
Yes, 2222 days of hard work. But worth every bit of it
Let’s add another day together @s_unrelax 
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At the end of Friday for me. Got home and cleaned the toilets, did a load of laundry and made a quick dinner of noodles. My sinuses seem to be clearing already which is fab. This weekend I have some grading, exam checking and book club stuff to do. So maybe I will get an early night.
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Happy Friday!!!
Blessed to wake up to another sober non hangover morning. Also day 11 caffeine free.
MAKE it an awesome day my friends!!!
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