@Steve14 Hey there Steve- great to see you posting again!
One thing that happened to me when I last got sober (2007-2013) was work addiction. I ran from the rest of my life and stayed sober by making work the centerpiece of my life. It seemed to work. Unfortunately, one day, work and alcohol seemed to converge. I got pushed hard to drink to ‘fit in’. And these people were the most important people in my life because work was more important than anything. So I drank. HUGE mistake! So I spent the next 10 years drinking and stopping (mostly sober, but it sucked). Work is important, but family, friends, community and hobbies are much more important, I think. I’m relearning how to cook! U.S. culture pushes this mindset relentlessly. Not worth it! Life is too short and I’m already middle aged. Now that I’m starting to work again I’ll keep that shit more in the background . I’m a recovering workaholic.
I just wanted to share how it was for me. I’m trying to come to my senses now. I lost my sense of humor, I lost sleep, I lost me. Work isn’t the center of life, love is.
I hope you get to catch up on life now that busy season is over. Always happy to see you around!
Yes. You got this. Getting ourselves free from an active addiction is not a linear process. The “draw” is still triggered by our “stuff” & associations like holiday gatherings & other occasions . The good news is that with more time those thoughts become fewer and we become stronger to be able to just acknowledge them when they bubble up in our mind & move on from them. Keep doing what you’re doing! Best Wishes.
Do y’all think I should start dating again? I’m not supposed to yet. Maybe repairing my life will shake everything out… I’m getting healthier and starting work again. Do I have to move away first? Will they come with me?
With this perfect weather and our second growing season underway it’s kind of like another spring. Maybe I’ve lost my mind. Yup. Hahaha, yes! Yes I have. It’s just the most perfect day. Got the yard cleaned up and filled the armadillo burrow for the 1345th time. That’s why I need a partner. Because of killer armadillos!. I can’t be out here in the spooky hills alone. They are some creepy looking creatures for sure! Hehehe
A bit up and down today. Really did not want to workout but did anyway. Of course, I am glad I did and I feel better. Dinner is prepped and brownies are in the oven. Have a great Saturday.
Checking in 14 days! Went to my first meeting today which was good! Then met up with a friend this evening. Not even tempted to drink. I feel confident in my sobriety at the moment & I know going to meetings will help me keep this at the fore front of my mind. Nice to be going home sober and knowing there will be no hangover tomorrow. Hope everyone’s had a good day!
Day 251
Had a bit if a rough day yesterday. Spent a bit of time researching brain aneurysm surgeries and some info re mortality rates and such and it really got to me. I’m trying not to stress about this as it’s mostly out of my control but just a fear of the uncertainty I guess.
I am sorry you are having to go through this, @Seb, can only imagine how frightening it must be
Your MD would want to impress upon you the importance of not relying on the Internet for any medical information/advice, it is a cesspool. Maybe you can discuss your concerns with them instead?
Day 979
My son was feeling somewhat better this afternoon, so we did decide to go trick or treating at that accessible event. It was SO much fun!!! Lots of amazing costumes there. My son was dressed up as a firefighter. Even had an authentic Calgary firefighter cap and stuffed dog (named Sparky) to go with his outfit! He got some pictures done. These are 2 of my fav:
Once home we ate supper and then relaxed. All n all today was great for making memories. So thankful for recovery that I am able to do this and be present with him in the fun! Gotta get ready for work tmrw. Have a great night everyone!
wanted a drink I asked myself , are you not having fun already? Would the drink really add more fun and be worth the hang over tomorrow?
Each time I came to the conclusion that the fun I was already having was more than enough and if anything better because I was sober. Today was a challenge I won’t lie. But I was in a good headspace for it and I’m really happy it turned out so well and so eye opening.
Im geatful to be sober. Im greatful to spend time with people with out needing a drink to make it fun, Im glad we were all so productive and so glad a hangover isn’t going to stop me from continuing tomorrow. Maybe being drunk wasn’t as fun as I chalked it up to be.
Ended the night alone by the fire listening to my hammered neighbors partying. I was laughing to myself about how bizzar it all sounded from a sober pov, while also reflecting on my own expierences and how the one I had today compaired. (They live about 10 acres away and i could clearly hear them attempting kereoke around a bonfire with the over confidence of, well, a drunk person.) I eventually turned my own music on to dround them out which worked well.
Happily going to sleep sober for the 7th time in a row. Luckly I can’t hear the neighbors from inside
Well, I think I found out today that I shouldn’t be off this supplemental antidepressant. Unfortunately I am feeling the same as before when I tried to go off it with a dip in my mood and anxiety in my stomach. I’ll have to tough it out until I can get it refilled. I am trying to stay present to my kids while feeling yucky. At least I know the cause and solution.
U.S. culture pushes this mindset relentlessly. Not worth it! Life is too short and I’m already middle aged. Now that I’m starting to work again I’ll keep that shit more in the background 
. I’m a recovering workaholic.
repairing my life will shake everything out… I’m getting healthier and starting work again. Do I have to move away first? Will they come with me? 
Looks like y’all had great fun!
