That is a crazy list of what ifs and so right on! You are right…all of these weighing on the mind are so daunting and make a “simple” task like a phone call so horrific. Sorry about your unsuccessful one…hope it gets sorted without too much hassle.
I totally was the same way with no following through with weird stuff on the body. Not so much asy more. Honestly, not sure which way is more therapeutic lol…one way it could be something and the sooner you get it checked out the better and on the other hand ugh!!! You are stressing over everything and the body is so strange so it’s always doing something weird 
. Hopefully yours is nothing serious and you will get it checked out if it’s stays persistent.
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291 AF
Up and set to walk out door for work at 5:45am. Hand is still sore as all heck. I hope this isn’t a long term issue… need to see someone.
Regardless a nice week and back on the asphalt crew. I enjoyed parks much better.
Have a good sober day folks.
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Heartfelt thanks, Menno, for the years, the moments, the memories, and for keeping track of it all. 
Pics: September 2023
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Day 647.
Well, this morning I’m feeling irrationally angry. Last night I was feeling teary and filled with anxieties. By irrationally angry, I mean I’m upset that my husband refuses to let me steal towels from the hotel. Yes, stealing bad. But the towels at my father-in-law’s were bought in the fucking 70s, probably the 1870s. I’m anxious about staying there because the room is tiny, the telly in the living room is always playing the news, so I avoid sitting there because the news gives me anxiety and I don’t have enough Lyrica pills on me to deal with thar, and the whole place is cluttered to fuck.
We did all the fun stuff related to the trip already and now I’ll be stuck in a little middle-of-fucking nowhere village for weeks. And I just wanna go home. Plus, I can’t afford to travel to meet my best friend’s baby this weeks, which is really fucking upsetting.
Ok. Rant over. Deep breath. I’m fine. Everything is fine.
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@Jibs416 welcome to the checking-in thread 
congrats on 9 months 
@JazzyS thank you I’m glad you had a good night 
and congrats on 22 months alcohol and weed free
@DresdenLaPage congrats on your year 
@Wakikki belated congrats on quadruple digits
@Thumper1213 congrats on your week+
@Juli1 
@Aussie_Tiger congrats on 5 months
@mxelle congrats on day 1 no cannabis
@MooseTracks congrats on all the 7s I can see why that would be tough I hope the rest of your move goes okay 
@Mno good luck with your application 
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@happyfeet good to read from you congrats on 450 days
@JennyH congrats on your month
@Laner congrats on 200 days I hope you’ve had some better sleep by now 
@Heath congrats on 11 months
@Mira_D congrats on the new job 
1533 days no alcohol.
998 days no cocaine.
28 days no binge-eating.
12 days no vape.
Therapy was rough yesterday. We did a timeline of all my traumas. I didn’t even mention all of the ones that have a lesser impact on me these days, there wouldn’t have been time. It’s somewhat easy to clinically state the facts, but going back through my life and having a second therapist state that there has never been anyone in my life that loved or cared about me, it hits pretty hard. She said she’s surprised I made it through and that there must be a huge amount of strength in me. I don’t feel strong. I owe my life to my cats, they keep me alive everyday.
The positive is that I didn’t have the urge to binge when I got home. I just wanted to catch-up here and meditate. Didn’t get around to catching-up here til now, but did meditate lots.
The feelings caught-up with me a bit and I felt depressed last night. Had a slight urge to binge, but it was easy enough to ignore. Fell asleep fairly early and woke up after the shops had closed. Then I spent the next hour debating with myself over whether to order or drive to get a particular takeaway, because I heard they are currently doing an item that hasn’t been available since 2015, but only for a limited time. I came to my senses though, so all is well.
I managed to unpack the deliveries on Sunday, and yesterday I took all of the recycling to the bins. I still have the cats’ supplies delivery to unpack so that’s today’s task.
🩵
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Day 253
Just cruising along doing my best.
Hope everyone is doing ok.
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@Amy30 Hey girl, I feel you 
Whenever I visit my family they have the telly running 24/7 in the only space you can actually spend any reasonable time in, if you don’t want to freeze. Depending whom I visit I will get: religious nuts, anti religious extremists, the ‘drive me crazy’ news cycle, or a mix of any of these. Add to that cats I am allergic to, and you get the picture. I try to take as many walks outside as I can. An investment that I have found priceless was noise-canceling headphones. I put them in, and turn on some soothing sounds, or a podcast, guided meditation, etc. and the telly becomes just background noise.
I hope you can find some way to disconnect from the crazyness around you and to ground yourself.
@Chevy55 I hope your hand gets better soon! Sending healing vibes 
@SoberWalker Sending boat loads of healing vibes. May your foot recover quickly, may you be able to walk your butt off again soon 
@Mira_D Congratulations 
on the new job. Sounds like a very exciting new chapter of your life!
@Heath We are sobriety twins! Congrats Ewan!
11 months sugar
199 UPF
73 gluten
73 dairy
9 distraction-free eating
Today marks eleven months sugar freedom and with that the start of my recovery journey. I would have never made it without all of you here. Thank you so much for being here
My daughter had a migraine episode this night, but the meds and a good sleep worked their magic and she is up and about. I’m slightly hoping the new meds are starting to work.
The sun is up and making life easier. I did my morning yoga and meditation, did the groceries for today. I hope to get some work on my game done today. But we also need to get the flat in some order. I want to do some nice restorative yoga in the afternoon and indulge in watching anime tonight.
Today’s picture is a raw amber deposit from the bronze age I saw at the archeological museum last week in Wrocław.
Peace and love for life always 
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Thanks for the friendship friend
👩🏻❤👨🏼 
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Happy Tuesday!
Day 15/30 caffeine free. Getting the hang of it.
Very grateful for the productivity and clear head I have since becoming sober.
MAKE it an awesome sober day my friends!!
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Day 9.
Thankful for another day,my mind is working on me,got to get busy.
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Day 3. Checking in early to set intention. Sleep is awful, I was wired last night, couldn’t calm down. Its not like I’m bouncing off the walls, I’d be concerned, its that I feel awake but very tired. When I quit, I get tired, I realize I’m sleep deprived a bit probably. The intention today is identify why I want to stop using weed, be explicit. Maybe also set a bed time routine, expectations to help me out a bit.
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@MrFantastik Ancient Apocalypse season 2 is hubbies and mine thing to watch on evenings as well 
@Alisa is that you on the photo? If yes - great to see you. Somehow you look very much like I imagined. Beautiful 
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Day 342. Hey sober fam, met with some guys who have the skateboard style one wheels last night, went for a nice ride and had a blast. They were blown away by what you can do on one of these unicyles, i let both of them try it and they were like hell no 
they couldnt understand how i do it, honestly at 260 pounds neither am i lol. Got ahold of the dmv yesterday as well, did find out that atm i am permanently revoked from getting a license which is definitely a bummer. I know some of my old behavior would of cried about it and used it as an excuse to act out and blame others. But the guy did say i can still possibly apeal it and maybe get ahold of some of the courts and see if they will help reduce some of the points from old tickets. Idk ill figure it out, but much love
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Day 6
i’m doing well and i spent 2 hours to learn my new online course. Last night sleep was pretty good and my mental clarity is improving.
I’m sad about my unemployment due to my addiction. I have to find another job but I hope I should stay sober for 100 days first to get things get more clear.
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I remember news/politics was a tough issue for you (lack of better wording here for sure - whats tough? And is it not tough for everyone?). If you ever want to look at this with me, I am open and willing. I’ll go at your pace. Politics is my whole life, I also have an intimate relationship with it, and it has and does send me on roller coasters. I’ve learned to understand my sebsitivity, that i care and build “muscle” around it. I’m offering because you brought it up, but no stress if radio silence (pun intended).
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@Alisa beautiful pics and memories. Lovely to see you friend 
@catmancam thank you! Way to stay binge free. That is an intense session (s) and you are making some good head way. I’m glad she said you were strong. Cause - YOU ARE STRONG…way stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know it’s hard to feel this when you are living through day to day healing and overcoming trauma but that is what makes you strong. Sending love and hugs your way.
@acromouse way to go with 11 months no sugar 
. Impressive work friend. Your timers are looking great as well. Stay vigilant and keep pushing forward
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Hey all, checking in on day 1591. I hope everybody has a good one!
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I love this!! You cuties!
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Checking in day 218! Hope everyone’s been going well. I look forward to getting back on here regularly!
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