@Mno oh wow, what a story! Yes, the plan is to reduce to zero, it’s just been a very long slow process, quitting the NHS way. I’ve quit cold turkey in the past, one time for 5 years, so this time I tried something different. @JazzyS thank you for your support too 🩵 @Laner proud of you for asking for help 🩵 @Scorpn feeling them with you solidarity 🩵 @acromouse feel better soon 🩵
1505 days no alcohol.
970 days no cocaine.
1 day no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.
Another counter back on zero. Also, aside from bingeing crisps last night, I’m still eating lots of fruit. I can’t seem to resist anything, I’m compelled the moment I wake up.
I discussed in therapy yesterday. She thinks the short interaction with my dad on Saturday morning triggered me more than I thought and that he has a huge affect on me. I am aware of this. I saw him briefly again yesterday as he made excuses why he couldn’t do it this morning as planned, so I had to drop my car off yesterday afternoon, ready for it’s MOT today, and he gave me a lift home since he was already over this way because he picks my eldest step-brother up from work everyday. He’s always been very controlling and full of BS. I just bite my tongue around him, even when it’s hard. I will see him briefly this afternoon as well, as he’s giving me a lift to collect my car on his way to collect my step-brother from work.
I didn’t want to buy another vape, so that’s why I binged the last two nights. I was overwhelmed by emotional pain that nothing was helping. My go-to coping skill is meditation, but even though I did 5, as soon as they ended the suicidal ideation came back. So I wanted to watch TV which is my next best coping strategy, but that always involves bingeing crisps. I did reach out here on the binge-eating thread because that has stopped me in the past, but I haven’t felt as emotional as I did on Sunday night for quite some time.
Today is a new day. I will try to cope better. I need to challenge myself to start watching TV without bingeing crisps.
All ok here. Swimming is helping me a lot more than I thought it would. I’m surprised that I remembered how, but you don’t forget! It is easy. Good to find a sport and level up. It also helps me keep anxiety in check. Lots of that as I become whatever it is.
A follow up from my last post, I’m feeling a bit better again since. I went for that jog, there’s a nice park right next to me with so many paths I got disorientated for a bit and accumilated some distance, but that was good, just what I needed and wanted. Cooked some nice bolognese for dinner after, played a bit of guitar inbetween and about to go to sleep now. The weather’s turned again so there’s a constant drizzle, nice to fall asleep to the sound against the tent, but let’s see in the morning when I want to get stuff done If the weather’s good, I’ll try to jump straight into the meditation and workout routine, before anything else, so as not to let it get too late and impact the rest of the day. It’s a good kickstart. Whatever tomorrow brings, I intend to give my best to own it, sober. Odaat.
Whoever and wherever you are, keep that light of yours shining, and working on your potential friend!
Day 954
Morning Beautiful day here today! Its quite warm as we got a Chinook this morning. For those that dont know its a type of warm, dry wind that occurs on the downward slope of a mountain when warm air has lost its moisture. They happen every so often. Its +16 and its only 845am so should be a gorgeous day out.
My son is getting better but I kept him home another day to make sure. We have a few errands to do today so will be leaving shortly for that. Hope everyone has a great clean and sober day!
173 days sober
Finally feeling like a real human again. Still a bit sick but definitely improving. I was able to concentrate well enough to do some translation work at home and move around more. Being sick is so boring so was nice to work on things today.
Checking in 210 days. No grump this morning. I am excited to see what I can accomplish today. Still working on Step 4 with sponsor and realizing God is with me and has been I just wasn’t listening or connecting.
May all of you have a glorious sober day.
Hello sober warriors been nice reading your checkings im off to watch the new crow film tonight the original is one of my faves but i much prefer the graphic novel. Much love
Day 2
Feeling so irritated with everything and everyone. Luckily I’m surrounded by nature and went fishing today and caught one fish and before I released him I just thanked him for giving a bit of light in my day
🩵
solidarity 🩵
It also helps me keep anxiety in check. Lots of that as I become whatever it is.
If the weather’s good, I’ll try to jump straight into the meditation and workout routine, before anything else, so as not to let it get too late and impact the rest of the day. It’s a good kickstart. Whatever tomorrow brings, I intend to give my best to own it, sober. Odaat. 
Beautiful day here today! Its quite warm as we got a Chinook this morning. For those that dont know its a type of warm, dry wind that occurs on the downward slope of a mountain when warm air has lost its moisture. They happen every so often. Its +16 and its only 845am so should be a gorgeous day out.
im off to watch the new crow film tonight the original is one of my faves but i much prefer the graphic novel. Much love 
Good to see you! Way to go on day 4. Let’s keep going together.