I have done my fair share of ironing back when dress shirts were still required for work. For next time when you do not have an ironing board available, try the corner of the kitchen counter, generally heat resistant and so much easier than a book on the floor! 
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Greetings fellow travelers. This is either my first or second check in. About a month and a week sober here. Struggling. Not struggling so much with alcohol, but struggling with life now that thereās no alcohol in it. Nothing to take the edge off of things. Sick to death of the relationSHIT that is my marriage of 45 yrs (yeah, you think weād have it figured out by now wouldnāt ya?) Ridiculous political climate in the US. Lack of motivation. I get relief when Iām with my precious grands a couple of times a week and when I sleep. And now that Iām sleeping better, I just look forward to going to bed as soon as I can get there after dinner. Feels like a lame way to live. I mean, Iām thankful/proud of not drinking. I mean, Iām getting healthier and feel better physically. Iām working out pretty regularly for the first time in decades. But mentally Iām kind of a mess. Is it just my life circumstances or have a lot of you felt like this along the way?
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Congrats on your month and a week!! And yes, I think lots of us can relate to the mental mess in early days/weeks/months. Especially those of us who spent our entire lives with alcohol escapism and are now presented with an entirely new life, new emotions, new choices, etc. It is a big new world and kind of scary at timesā¦especially after 40+ years of having alcohol or xyz to keep us occupied, dull the edges, make us less present. Soā¦being presented with our actual selves ā¦yes, it is a big deal and can discombobulate you. Very normal to be a mental mess. It takes awhile for our body mind and spirit to clear all of the trash out of our cells. Be gentle with your self and your process. It does get betterā¦we get betterā¦we heal and find the door opens to lots of new experiences. 
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Another day sober.
When i start to see the signs, i pivot to TS. I need to make sure Iām proactive and focus on what Iām grateful for. I have no right to search for things inappropriate or let my eyes travel to things that are worthless. Keep fighting E. ODAAT.
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Checking in 908 days free from alcohol.
School holidays here, going to do some cooking with my daughter this morning. My teen son has a job interview at a bike store this afternoon for a bike building and servicing job. Itās his first job, so Iām excited for him. We started homeschooling late last year, itās been bumpy and Iām constantly worrying about him. Parenting is tough, I was not prepared for how anxious I would be all the time 
Itās been a good long weekend here, I repotted all my house plants, went for a run and nearly died (Iām okay but it was so tough), some nice walks, nice food, and nice weather.
Grateful for sober living, and for this space to share.
Have a wonderful day 
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Congrats on your sober time and great to see you checking in. You are not aloneā¦ the early days (for me was like months) were super hard mentally. The first month or so was all about not drinking. Then the real work started. Learning to live life sober and not rely on my clutch. The fogginess came and went to and that made it hard to focus and totally killed my motivation.
We gain coping mechanisms and healthier routines which help us deal with lifeās lifey crap. Keep at it my friend. It does get easier and betterā¦ sober living has many beautiful benefits.
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Day 953
Well today turned out much better than expected. The wheelchair loaner issue has been resolved. A new one was brought to our home (yay that i didnt have spend more $$ on cab fare) with all the proper parts on it to be able to take him on the accessible bus. Now my son just has to get a bit better before he can go to school. Im thinking Thursday since hes almost recovered.
Im doing okay also but have a bit of a headache. Nothing major. Just going to relax the rest of the evening. Have a nice shower. And get some good rest. Hopefully i can get to the gym early morning as i didnt today.
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Sounds like an awesome first job! We had a bike shop in my hometown that we always rode up to as kids and the owner would let us hangout. We went everywhere on our bikes back then. Got to use his air pump for free for our tires. Hope he enjoys it 
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149
Just another Monday today. Was a good productive day at work. Iām excited about my 3 day camping self revival trip Iāve had planned for myself since becoming deep in my sobriety. I want it to be a very big step into my spiritual growth and a time of healing. Letting go of a lot of my past.
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lifeās lifey crap And thank you for the camaraderie and encouragement. It helps to have realistic expectations.
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@Dirk Idk if my counter is shaped right, but thanks for the tip! Hope I remember next year when I iron something again 
My work uniform is a dress shirt and tie. I just hang them up while theyāre still warm from the dryer 
@Meems59 Physically, my body bounced back much quicker than I expected. Mentally, it took months before I āevened outā. Getting to know the real me for the first time in 20 years and being able to just sit with myself. I had to learn how to deal with literally everything. There was alot of intense anxiety for the first 6 months or so. It was uncomfortable, but the only way to get to the other side is through. Life is far from perfect, but very little overwhelms me now. I havenāt had one sober day where I felt as low as I did drinking. That alone is worth it to me. Stay the course 
586
Rainy rainy rain. For being so dreary, I had an unusual amount of energy this morning. I just went with it and tidied up some more. Then hit the midday slump before work. We still hosted the firemen tournament(which was the last of the year), but luckily everyone left early to watch the Billās game. A few stragglers invited me to join them at the bar down the street. Sorry fellows, not at all interested 
I was home by 8. Score! (Literallyā¦Go Billās! 
) Iām about to finish Evil Dead Rise(which is sick!) before bed. Have a good one 
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Hahaha, fingers crossed! 
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1935
First day back at work was OK, but it wasnāt the best. I found it kind a hard to see so many of the same patients there, that came back after a relapse (or their 20th). I do know thatās addiction but I had to swallow hard and face the reality of it. It is what I do and it is what it is.
Also the atmosphere among my colleagues isnāt all good. Some irritations here and there. I felt some interpersonal tensions too. Well. It wasnāt all bad and it was my first day back. Those are never easy.
My friend is back home. Iām getting used to it being me and Luna again. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you can all friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love from my commute in Utrecht .
@Meems59 Glad youāre here Melinda. Checking in and sharing with peers, like you are doing here, might help a bit. Talking, thinking, feeling about stuff instead of trying to forget through using substances. Itās a new way of life and can be hard at times but it is so much better. We actually get to resolve some of our shit this way. Iām glad youāre here as weāre in this together.
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Day 715
Happily sober
And
Feeling the depression creep up on me
And
Feeling overwhelmed
And
Feeling lost/detached
I am glad Iām sober. Iām just feeling all the feels
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Seeing people having relapses in work or in the fellowship or real life can hit hard. Especially if I have build up a connection with them. It triggers my own past and when not emotionally detached it draines me out. I just experienced it with my ex-girlfriend, itās just draining. We know well enough that we (if I may say that) were draining people through our self obsession and self pitty and addictive behavior. I gave her all empathy I got, but still it was never enoughā¦.I salute you for the work you do
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Finally reached Adelaide last night, but in a pretty bad mood today if Iām honestā¦ I just wanna recoil and scream at nothing! Unusual for me, maybe thatās a sign that Iām on track. 
Iāve just decided Iām going to go for a jog. Take that mood! Will check in again later.
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- Doing the doing.
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Day 1375,
Getting more and more fascinated by literature written by authentic authoritiies in fields closely linked to addiction. I always had my own judgement on the āDSM - bibleā and how it is used by insurances etc. It seems when it was first published it came with a disclaimer: āthis diagnostic system is imprecise, so imprecise that it never should be used for forensic or insurance purposesā. As we know now, that modesty was tragically short-lived.
Of course I should not make these books my life lead, but it sure give some valuable insights.
Have a good sober 24 hours
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307 sugar
171 UPF
45 gluten
45 dairy
So I tried to change the dosage of my meds to eleviate some nasty symptoms and got some rather uncomfortable ones instead today. So today is going to be about getting through that reaction and trying to stay sane meanwhile
Unfortunately I have a coupleās counceling appointment with my ex. There is some stuff about boundaries and the continuation of this counseling that I urgently need to get off my chest. So I donāt want to postpone the appointment. At the same time Iām in a difficult mental space due to the side effects of my meds. Iām just hoping this will settle a bit with time.
I donāt have much going on else today as I find it very difficult to concentrate on anything right now. I might just spend the rest of the day watching tv and waiting for this to pass.
On a much better note, my daughterās migraine has cleared and she went off to school. I am very grateful for that. All those days being away from school are not good for her social life.
Anyways, I am going to find peace and love for life as it is wherever I can 
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297 days
Thanks @acromouse and @JazzyS the back is feeling a lot looser today. Still got some good anti-inflammatories on the go, stopped the pain relief and its going ok.
Hoping it settles quickly as I want to get back to training, theres a possibility to set something up that would go down right abouts when my year sober would tick over. Would be a cool way to commemorate it and would keep me focussed for the next couple months.
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