Another day sober. It got a bit hairy last night, so I followed in the wise @Dazercat’s footsteps and scrubbed a toilet! It had passed by the time it was done, and I could get on with my evening. I’ve been looking for a gratitude journal to use and found one that is almost what I am looking for. It asks every day
what did I do for myself today
what did I do to bless my home today
what did I do for my recovery today
what did I do to find joy today etc
I really liked it, but I think I may take all the good ideas I have seen and make my own. I will print the sheets and put them in a binder so I can adapt them as my recovery evolves. That way, I can add some colouring sheets in between and make it my own.
Something big is happening in my workplace. The company is either buying another company or being sold, something big. We all know it and can feel the uneasiness it brings. There is a lot of rumour-mongering and hearsay. I am ashamed to admit I have played a big part in that, but it stops today. I will not share anything anyone says about it from here on out. I will respond by saying that I am sure whatever happens will be exciting and present opportunities for us. I will not add my 2 pennies worth of speculating and then go on to spread the latest gossip. I can’t control it or change it, and I didn’t cause it, so I am letting it go.
A week ago today at 10 pm I had my last drink. It was at my dear friend and colleague’s wake following her funeral. Her death and funeral had nothing to do with my decision, but it did have a part in my plan. I was ready. I drove the 3 hours to get home the following evening and knew I had a half bottle of wine to pour away as soon as I walked in the door. I was utterly confident that I would not drink it because, let’s face it, half a bottle was not going to be enough, and it would have just made me want more, which I didn’t have. When I got home and started looking in the cupboards in case I missed any, there were 9… yes, NINE bottles ranging from a quarter to three-quarters full. I thought – Now we are talking! There is enough here for a session, and I can make tomorrow my start day. My phone flashed, and there was a message from my son that said, “I am so proud of you, Mom”. I poured it all away and went to bed sober that day.
My heart would break if someone spent money on a gift instead of food for themselves at Xmas. Food for yourself or family is more important than buying gifts, so is heating or clothing or any basic essentials.
So much is wasted at Christmas time, so many things bought just out of pressure to keep up.
If you are religious then I’m sure there is a deeper meaning to Christmas than buying wasteful presents for the sake of social pressures. If you’re not religious (like me) then what is it even about? Spend time with people at Christmas rather than spending money on stuff.
Glad you did and congratulations with you’re first week!
For your work I understand the worries, gossip and the drama. We started a 21 days complaining reduction challenge here: Complaining reduction challenge
Maybe interesting for you too? It helps me to focus more on positivaty in times of worries ore anxiety.
☆ Day 2248
Ok, there we go again: another 4 weeks of plaster. I’m not going to complain about it (because then I have to change my bracelet to another wrist isn’t it @One4theroad). The plaster is going to help my feet recover, so it is what it is. Called in sick for the next 10 days. It felt like I left my colleagues in the cold We have a team of 5 and 2 where already sick so I’m number 3. But I have to do what is right for myself. I have to choose for my health.
Yesterday evening we went to the light show in a nearby town. I went in a wealchair. It was uncomfortable to sit in it surrounded by a crowd and because of the height difficult to see stuff.
But it was good to be out!
I’ve not been on here much recently because life just seems so busy these days. I wonder if a lot of that is because I used to spend a lot of time sitting down, drink in hand, scrolling my phone. That has to be a deliberate decision to stop and take time out my day to do it now and so I can already see the benefits of not drinking are stretching beyond health and wellbeing
I hope everyone is doing well and looking forward to the festive period which is fast approaching. I make gin for a living so I am off today to another Christmas market to convince people to drink it - feels a bit hypocritical!
Day 3 sober from alcohol. Today was a hiccup for me. I took adderall instead of drinking and I do not feel right.
I am having a hard time finding peace, my court date is next week and I and filled with dread.
I look forward to the day where I can wake up with a clear conscience
Big milestone today. 2 years sober. Still working on my mental health, and I’ve learnt to understand a lot about myself and how to resist certain behaviour.
The PTSD and possible neuro diversity condition (waiting on that) mean I too often live my life in black and white - I’m brilliant or pathetic, you love me or hate me, everything is perfect or rubbish etc. But I see this now. I can challenge that.
I always thought I was really outgoing, but the truth is I got drunk so I could get on with people. I got drunk because people make me anxious.
People still make me anxious but I understand that now and I’m just beginning to feel ok with that.
So I’ll carry on being sober and carry on with my journey. Trying to be the best version of me. I just need more time to get there. Pre therapy I’d have said ‘but if I’ve got any faults I’m a terrible person and I’m a failure’. I’m beginning to see that black and white stance for what it is and trying to find the middle ground.
I’ll be here, hanging around in the wings, but not always posting. Thanks for the support I’ve had over the last 2 years. Xxx
@grayce1 Congrats on three days! This is great. You are stacking the days, taking steps. Keep moving, keep checking in. Have you considered a recovery programm? @SussexGuy Have a good day at the christmas market. If you have the time shoot us a picture. @SoberWalker Glad to hear you are prioritizing your health. Wishing you a very speedy recovery. Thanks for sharing the lightshow with us. @Amy30 Get well soon! @Lastry Congrats on a whole week sober. Hurray!!! I really like the toilet strubbing thing and your resolve to stop the gossip is admirable. @CATMANCAM I know this is not easy and I hate it when someone says this to me. But I am going to say it anyways: Take your time. Take the time your body and mind need to heal, the time they need to wean from the meds. I know this is fucking hard. I know you want to get better. So I am sending you hugs and love @Mno Fingers crossed for your job application process I hope it all turns out well. @GOKU2019 Where you live are there any traditions around kids loosing their baby teeth? Like the tooth fairy or something? @Bomdhil Honesty is a great foundation @tailee17 Great to hear sobriety is giving you so many opportunities for a new life and also you actually using those opportunities
Woke up energized. My ex spent the night in our flat and came to wake me. I love to be woken up by something or someone nice, like the sun, or a nice person. Don’t like alarm clocks at all.
Today I am still going to work on my game problem I discovered this week. This is proving to be a major thing as I have expected, and I do like the challenge
Couple’s counseling in the afternoon. My daughter has a 3D-workshop later in the day working with Blender. I very much hope she gets good at it and she can teach me then. I really suck and 3D-stuff which is a bit emberrasing for a gamedev.
I am hoping for a nice long yoga session in the evening, and I am going to cohost a RD meeting later.
Today’s picture is some hot streetart from Gent, Belgium last year.
Congratulations Brian!
Recovery is exploring and getting to know ourselves. Work in progress. I recognize it, but I think because we are doing that: diving into it and learning to accept ourselves with all our talents ànd our flaws is what keeps us sober at the same time.
Well done for the 2 years
Sounds like you have the right attitude and are determinedly working on your sobriety
There are different kinds of recovery programms available: SMART, AA, Recovery Dharma, and others. All of them offer meetings in-person and online. Look around what suits you and your needs, find a community you feel like you could connect with. Connection is vital to recovery
Congratulations Brian on your 2 years
Thanks for sharing it with us. It’s always great to seeing you around.
Wishing you all the best for your ongoing journey.
). The plaster is going to help my feet recover, so it is what it is. Called in sick for the next 10 days. It felt like I left my colleagues in the cold 
We have a team of 5 and 2 where already sick so I’m number 3. But I have to do what is right for myself. I have to choose for my health.
I really like the toilet strubbing thing 
and your resolve to stop the gossip is admirable.
I hope it all turns out well.
