Day 246
It’s a great day as I started my volunteer cop job today! I’m all trained up, have my outfit 
, and did my first drive. Scheduled 3 patrols this week. After such a nightmare with PTSD, and going through early recovery I’m healthy enough to begin again. It’s emotional. Things will only get better from here 
Lots of love, see you later
Once upon a time i was held against my will. Trapped.
Broken.
I will never let that happen again. If i have to kill or be killed. Never. Ever.
Last night I had given up on listening to any more of the one sided screaming "argument " and decided i was going to take a drive. And he decided i, in fact wasn’t leaving. “YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE” was the last thing i registered before we were physically fighting. Then i had to sit and listen to 2 more hours of a one sided lecture/argument before i was finally allowed to get up and go to the bathroom.
And of course today, hes depressed, apologizing, but at the same time saying im not the one who got punched in the face…then feigned suiciality…before ultimately blaming me for not replacing the phone he broke last month…
Because he “couldnt” call the docs for a refill on his medication. Even though there are 5 other working cell phones in the house…
The same medication that is the number one condition of him being around any of us…
I just cant wrap my head around it.
Im just tired yall…
Your posts break my heart, @Scorpn 
You did not ask for reponses and/or advice, so I am going to hold back and just say that, as ever, we are here for you and are supporting you unreservedly.
Still holding space for so many, 
Those numbers are fantastic.
Ginger, in any form, ginger ale even can help nausea. It sucks, i really don’t like this feeling and one over the past few years have had to come to know.
🫚💛
That is ginger.
Already done, thanks for flagging.
Oh I’m so sorry to read this Renee 
You are one strong ass woman and have gone through a shit ton in your lifetime-- You have survived it all.
You deserve better my friend. 
Here for you! 
after 22 hours I’m now inpatient
Oh thank goodness! Grateful you stuck out that wait. Grateful that you now have a bed 
Much love Megan. Hope you are finally able to get some sleep
thank you i hope so too
I’m 10 days away from 1000 days without alcohol in my life.
I’m 2 days away from my first colonoscopy.
Beauty and poo. It’s all there.
Onward. 
Sweetness! quadruple digits is amazing girl 
Wishing you luck with the colonoscopy. Take it easy love - loads of work for your body with the prep.
I am still in my PJs for the day. I’m giving myself a cozy weekend of soup and liquids.
Thanks Jazz.
oh that sounds lovely and the perfect way to prep.
Yes hope you are able to rest soon! Insomnia and not slweping is so hard on us. Hope it lifts for you soon. Big hugs xo.
This sounds terrible and dangerous. I’m so sorry you have to go through such a nightmare. Hope you are safe. Sending love and strength your way
It sounds like you have a sixth child in the house and a dangerous one at that.
If you’re threatened and if you feel like you’re in a dangerous situation, if you have an iPhone, I think you could press the button on the right of the phone twice and it will ring 911.
It might be that they may return the call to make sure that it’s legitimate call and not an accident. I don’t know.
I don’t know, but I would expect the other smart phones would be able to do the same thing.
I hope you don’t ever feel like you need to kill or be killed because that will just take a mother, you, away from their children.
I’m sorry this happened. I think you can expect it to happen again.
If there is any way to start back at step A, from what happened last time, that’s a good place to start.
Once again it was your Friday night all messed up.
You know and I know that none of this is acceptable.
I’m really sorry.
Saturday night. Solo parenting—my wife is doing a ladies night out with some friends. Dinner and the bedtime routine went perfectly.
Going to bed, sober, with a book.
Been sober for four weeks on this streak now.
This streak is different than my previous ones. I’m finding it’s taking a bit more active effort this time. I haven’t had a single day in the past four weeks where staying sober was automatic without thinking. Looks like that’s how it’s going to be for a little while.
Peace.
How to call 911 with a smartphone.
Everyone needs to know on their own individual phone what they need to do to make a silent call to 911.
You’re put in the position of needing to see every day that he takes the pill.
If I were living with him, I would want to see every day that he took the medicine. I would want to see the pill and I would like to see him, put it in his mouth and swallow it.
Not take his word for it.
He must’ve stopped it earlier in the week and that was probably why he cut all your hair off.
This is violence.
