4 posts were merged into an existing topic: Self Harm Discussion with SadMemeQueen
2nd check-in Expectation is bucket full tree less. Iāve picked 3. It is fun to work with my very favorite color. If I sit long enough the birds help out.
And there is another tree.
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Day 274
Quiet day. Did a patrol and chatted with another bored cop about the rowdy turkeys. 
. I like how itās the most dangerous thing happening in the neighborhood right nowā¦ Iām very grateful for that. So, theyāre starting to challenge the little police cruiser and give chase. For big clumsy dumb birds, they are fast!! They havenāt started attacking the car yet but will soon. The police are already strategizing. 
I think we need a Turkey Situation Roomā¦. They must be brought to heel! There was quite a neighborhood kerfuffle about aggressive Tom and his friends last year. Knocked a few people down. Must protect and serve! Ideally, I need a scone in one hand and binoculars in the other like my English cop heroes. Stakeout and then? Heheheā¦Iām not sure!
It sure was a beautiful crisp sunny day. Glad I got out despite the sad feelings around the holiday. Iām going to decorate a bit tomorrow, pack Monday, and hit the road Tuesday. Holidays are difficult, and all the tension in the air is not helping. Iām avoiding abusive, angry people at all costs. Lots of bobbing and weaving going on, and Iām tired. 
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@Juli1 Well done on 10 months! 
@Lastry In the last few years my drinking, I never got headaches. When I quit(both times), I suffered daily headaches for over a month. No doubt in connection to the absence of alcohol. Stay hydrated. Even when it feels like Iām drinking enough water, I drink extra just in case bc I was dehydrating myself for years 
@CATMANCAM Sorry youāve been having a tough time with things 
I understand how hard it can be when you have to take care of everything yourself. When I think about everything that has to get done, it paralyzes me so I canāt get anything done 
Days like that can make just taking a shower feel impossible, but I know if I force myself Iāll feel better. Iāve noticed music helps make it easier to move, for me. Then once Iām up, itās easier to keep going. Still, those days I plan to accomplish stuff, but just canāt will myself to do it, do happen. Instead of feeling like I let myself down, I think of what I did accomplish, small as it may be. I got out of bed, I fed the cats, I didnāt drink 
Canāt expect to get a hole in one everyday. Press on, my friend
That fear runs deep in me. It took 3 years before I made it back here after the last time I had ājust one drinkā. Grateful to make it back at all 
@Lighter Those turkeys are out for revenge! 
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Day 63
Iāve had the opportunity to hang out with an old college buddy and his fam since yesterday and itās been a breath of fresh air and something I needed. Weāve been in contact over the years but havenāt seen eachother for nearly 20 years. Got to tour the old campus and reminisce and also make new memories. Iāve had my fill again and again of Brazilian food prepared by his lovely wife. Life is good. ODAAT 
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Day 1021
Had a decent day at work. Was able to leave 1 hour early which was nice. Got home at 4pm and tried to take it easy. When i got home i noticed my son is sick so gave him some tylenol and cuddled with him. Will be taking tmrw off of work. Ill do laundry then and continue to cuddle him and care for him.
Right now im feeling abit down emotionally but ill be fine. I always am. I had a chat with my mom today and i miss her soo much. She gave me an early birthday gift which i was beyond grateful for. She etransfered me $200 to go towards gifts, cake, and supper for Tuesday (my 40th birthday). It made me feel really good to know that she trusts me enough and feels confident in my recovery enough, to send me money like that. I know i make her proud 
But I really miss her. And thats kind of got me bummed.
Anyway, just want to wish u all a good night. Love to u all
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Like jazzy said. Please go and see a nurse or doctor. They are there for you.
You made this huge effort going there. They are professionals, all the stuff is paid. A psychologist ist paid. You working in a school as a teacher are paid and still care for the kids. Your mind tries to find an excuse to talk you out of getting help. Donāt let it win.
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Sending healing vibes to your son. Hope he feels better soon.
Wowā¦ what a great feeling to see how much faith a loved one had in us and our recoveryā¦ You should be super proud of yourself. Love that you were able to connect with your mom. It has got to be hard being so far away.
40th bday!!! A good celebratory birthday my friend. Excited to celebrate this with you in Tuesday 
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Youāre neighborhood turkey stories crack me up! Hope youāre doing okay
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Day 12 night 13. Tomorrow night will be my 14 night not drinkingā¦ I have a lot of reasons to not drinkā¦
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Happy upcoming bday, fellow Sag 
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Keep it up!
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654
321 Different day than expected. As Iāve mentioned, itās common to receive the āwho wants the night offā text from the boss bc she still canāt make an efficient schedule, after 2 years 
Normally many jump at the chance, but not lately bc itās been slow. Last week we found out sheās been telling people not to come in if no one volunteers(from someone it keeps happening to). My co manager felt this was illegal and looked it up. Sure enough, it is! Any change in schedule must be announced at least 72 hours before said shift. Today, the text came at 1pm. Nine were scheduled at 4pm. One took the offer, but after 30 minutes, the boss named the 3 she āneededā and the remaining 5 were called off, myself included. Pretty messed up 
Half my coworkers are in college or living with their parents, but some of us have bills to pay! The only reason Iām not that upset is bc Thanksgiving was great and Iām working a party next week on a day weāre normally closed so I already have an extra shift, but still. I fully intended to work today, even if it was just hourly pay. It all adds up.
Anyway. I unexpectedly felt lost on how to spend my time. I ended up cleaning a bit, going out for a few necessities(which was a mistake bc stores were still crazy), and did some online shopping for Xmas(which included the gift to myself of extremely nice work shoes 
). I ate some leftovers from the buffet for dinner and I think it messed up my stomach. Not horribly, but enough. Winding down now with a bubbly tummy 
Hope everyone has a good one!
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365 days
But not quite a year. Have to do an extra day for that to really earn it 
Up early to drop the kids at their grandparents. Wife was finishing up nightshift and i was on a day.
Quiet day at work, was really what I needed after a busy set of shifts last week and a late night last night.
Tomorrow at work will be busy, already have a few things scheduled and thats on top of whatever the day may throw at us.
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@Lighter it was you! Thank you, itās a great check list.
@MrFantastik congrats reaching 365 days! Your one year milestone is really close.
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Day 77
Checking in Wednesday night starting feeling sick when you work in a warehouse thereās cold sections and warm sections and when youāre bouncing back and forth the whole day and sweating then being cold doesnāt mix I didnāt eat the Thanksgiving meal and even showed up for work Friday which was 7am shift got home at 4 and stayed in bed for over 24 hours was barely able to move called out today been at the new job for 3 weeks and only had 3 days off so I think Iāll be alright not scheduled for the next 3 days but knowing me Iāll call in for hours. Thereās always something positive to taking away from being this sick and that is I donāt have to worry about being sick for a good 6 months or more and that Iāll be stronger by Wednesday. As always wishing everyone the best in life and sobriety. Peace to All
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@MrFantastik I think you will survive this day sober as well soā¦congratulations with youāre
year milestone!
Happy for you!
āDay 2265 
Tired because of bad sleeping but happy to see more days behind me then in front of me 
10 days to go before I can go to bed barefoot.
Today? Nothing much beside reading and some small house chores stuff.
Have a good day ore night all
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2003
Yesterday turned out really well. Rode my bike for a good bit, it was cold but sunny and not too much wind. At night my sis celebrated her birthday wit a party at her place, first time she dared to do something like that since she caught long covid more then three years ago. It was great fun for her, and for me. I actually talked to people, and they to me, even some people I didnāt know. It may sound stupid, but thatās huge for me. I never did that. And it reminds me of the enormous progress I made in recovery. Which is sometimes hard to remember as life is still life and Iām still me.
Anyway. Iāve planned a quieter day today. House chores, cooking, a little bit of shopping. Going to have as good a day as I can and expect the same from all of you. Sober and clean or nothing will come from it. Love.
@SoberWalker I love to see the progress your red monster is making Claudia. Slowly but steady! 
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