Day 1444,
Had some argument with my girlfriend about AA. Don’t no why, just doesn’t feel good anymore. To tired to write more about it, hate when people have an opinion and don’t know shit about it. She asked to explain, but I just don’t feel like it, my recovery AA and other stuff it shows in me……Peace 
Happy birthday my friend!!! Sounds like u had a lovely time with friends 
Ty, sista. Yeah, you’re right. It won’t fix my health issues. It was just a thought. The thought of just having one to relieve some pain. But we all know what happens after the first drink. Don’t wanna get caught in that cycle again.
Day 1022
It was a pretty blah day to be honest. Struggled with energy but did manage to get the laundry and dishes done.
So i mentioned to my husband last night that i couldnt believe it was December tmrw and i guess it clicked that it was my birthday coming up 
I can see that he felt bad for forgetting but i just said that we will do something another time for it (that is if it doesnt get forgotten about again). Today he comes up to me and asks to borrow $200 off my credit card so that we can do something for my birthday (and hed pay me back). I said no to the idea. Im not funding my own birthday upfront lol i feel a little angry inside to be honest. I know hes trying to fix it but im not up for taking money off my credit card to do that.
I will be going to walmart tmrw and buying my birthday cake for us to enjoy for the 3rd. I have to try and find snowpants for my son also. Hope i am successful with that.
I am realizing that i can not expect “me” out of others. For example, i always put alot of thought and time and money into my husbands birthday. I guess i was expecting somewhat of the same energy to be put into mine. Not necessarily with the money, but more just with the thought. A nice card, a little cake etc. I do tend to go all out for holidays. Giving is my love language. And so i guess i was expecting some time and thoufht into my mine. But having expectations leads to dissappointment, and thats what is happening now.
So ya, thats where im at. Ill make the best of it for me. Besides the greatest gift i gave myself was my recovery and getting “me” back
Lots of love to my TS fam!
I completely understand what you’re saying! It’s hurtful. Happpy early Birthday! I hope your wishes come true. 
2y 8m 29d no self harm
day 13 in ED treatment
I bought some stuff to relapse with but my friend talked to me down it took about two hours. I threw them out. however I told my “best friend” what i was planning and they said “i won’t stop you.” so I really felt loved and cared for there. I’ve been feeling they don’t give a shit and this just kinda confirmed it. then I told another friend about this and they said it was a reasonable response. I guess the majority of my support system doesn’t give a fuck. somehow the friend I know to be toxic in other areas and need to distance from is the only one who helped me.
And fun was had by all!
I just wanted to share that I told my daughter who is 8 about HALT and she actually wrote it down. I was telling her how mommy uses it all thr time, because when i am busy sometimes i dont take thr timr to eat properly (especially in the rush of the morning) or recognize i am tired. That Im rarely angry or lonely, but sometimrs those happen too. Usually for me IM HUNGRY or have had some bad sleep. My daughter gets in the car after school HANGRY bc the kids have a total of 20 min for lunch, 5 of which is just getting their stuff to sit and the last 5 is putting things away and getting their stuff on to get out…my daughter cannot eat anything in 10 minutes LOL so often she comes home with a lot of lunch in her bag and shes STARVING. SO FOOD FIRST. Anyway, today her and her brother were getting in thr truck to head to their friends and her brother was upset and I was getting stuff from thr garage and she apparently went through HALT with him (he is 3 
) and she came to me and told me that he was hungry. I almost died.
Then when at her friends she got overstimmed because it was lpud and she needed to be alone and i just talked to her about recognizing when that happens, and instead of getting angry/frustrated at others for being loud and wantinf to be in your space you just listen to yourself about needing space and if you can take it. I was DEFINITLY overstimmed by all the action and noise, amidst trying to talk to the grown ups its like 12 conversations going on at once and someone always yelling or singing very loudly LOL. We had an amazinf time though, did some planning for one of my besties baby shower and the santa claus parade was a hit. Busy weekend but it was great and cant wait to get off to work this week also.
Its nice to feel happy, and when happy comes to let it be. Xo. Wishing everyone strength on their journey today. Not all days feel so good and hell i knowbthat, but we gotta take the wins where we can and accept and embrace the good as much as the tough stuff XO.
That is so cute - and super awesome for her (and for you who are teaching her this super important life skill). I think of how many things in my life could have been - not avoided, necessarily, but at least they could have been much more educational for me if I had started practicing HALT earlier.
Good for you and good for her! 
@SoberWalker Claudia, Congrats on your day 2265 , I like your cat Hope your leg getting better
@Mno What a number 2003, Congrats !!! 
Day 17
This morning I ordered one shirt and chino from online shopping site. When I was drinking I only concentrated on that but now I’m loving myself and changing my lifestyle.
But the problem is Lazy, I thought I would start my new online course yesterday but I didn’t started yet. My main problem is everything I put for tomorrow. I think the lazy also will go and hope this is part of my recovery.
Finding new projects online, After completing my course I need to polish my resume and apply for jobs. When I stay sober I understand value of time.
Hope you all doing well 
Happy Sunday!
A late check in. I made it to the end of a long Thanksgiving weekend sober. 4 days of no working.
Had more family over tonight and I was given the job of opening the wine and distributing it. It was like having Dracula in charge of the blood bank haha but I made it through.
Have an awesome night sleep everyone. Chat with you all in the morning.
655
Cute dumb cat woke me up early bc there were only 15 pieces of food in his dish. Guess I didn’t get to sleep in one more day 
But it was definitely a hibernation day. It was super cold and I had no where to go. We watched a bunch of AdventureTime. Good show. Surprisingly no snow here, even though there’s mad snow at Highmark Stadium right now, 30 miles away. Not complaining 
I’m sure it’ll be here in by morning. I can feel it in my bones 
It’s making me pretty tired. Hope you all have a good start to your week!
Happiest birthday wishes!! Wishing you a fabulous year ahead 
love the gratitude and you’re soo right! Breathtaking pics indeed sure it was even more magical in person. Cheers!
Aw sorry youre dealing with that Dana but I like the attitude about having expectations and also about making the day special for you regardless. I do hope you feel love on your special day. Can def relate to giving being your love language and expecting ppl to be like you. Sending big hugs and you’re right truly there is no greater gift than sobriety! And you have that so you’re already blessed xo
Sorry you’re struggling glad you were prevented from doing harm. Try to remember just one day at a time and it will get better xo
Checking in on day 1269 sober
Hey beautiful people 
Checking in Day 15
Still feeling a bit stuck in my head about past actions and mistakes but trying to refocus and just be present in the moment. Did things to keep myself distracted and to nourish my mind, body and soul. Ate well, went for a nice walk with the pup, did a bit of decorating for the holidays which did help put some pep in my step and then made it to AA and met with my sponsor. She really is so great and I’m looking forward to working the steps with her. Nothing good ever comes easy. Reminding myself of this. I’m really ready to put in the work on and for my sobriety.
Sending strength to all today! Keep fighting 
Day 5 
I know everyone been waiting for Champ to check in. So here I am people. Day 5
Day 15 AF. I have been walking a lot. It has helped a lot. After a walk, I am always in a better mood and I feel much healthier than I did a couple of weeks ago. My wife also remarked that I was looking healthier.
Sleep is a bit of a problem. I slept for just 2 hours last night. It makes me sleepy throughout the day. I hope this doesn’t last too long.
Giving up on cigarettes is not going too well. I slipped and smoked one today. Nicotine gum is helping, but I guess I need to try harder.
I am sorry that you are feeling this way. Maybe you can read again what you just wrote. From what you wrote I the past weeks, months you seem to be a pretty low mood.
I can only talk for myself here. My friend said the same thing to me some weeks ago that she wouldn’t stop me. It hurt. To be honest, how could she even stop me? It’s my life. Being told the truth that my life is in my hands in this regard most of the time hurts. It also hurt my friends if I would give them this responsibility.
My father committed suicide when I was 5. I have no idea really how to feel about it. I can imagine that I am sad. I cannot remember him at all. I cannot think that his decision was an easy one.
You took up your responsibility and got help. Please don’t put your friends there under such a pressure. Again, there are people there who are trained to help you. I wish you can find some space in your mind to give this a try.
