Checking in on day 957. Not far away from 1000 myself. Have just been to Bali for a week, I got sick again. But it was nice to have a break from work.
I’m beginning some different hours at work. I changed to part time this year and started working 4 days instead of 5. I’ve really enjoyed the shorter week but I am able to work full time hours in 4 days so I don’t lose my full time wage. So starting this week I’m going to trial full time compressed hours and work longer days for four days. I can pull the pin if it’s too much but over Christmas and the summer I think we really need to extra money. Will see how I go!
The Bali trip was another test of sobriety. We spent a lot of time in a pool with a swim up bar. I enjoyed many coconuts and fruit smoothies. But a lot of alcohol was consumed around me. We had our kids with us, so they were exposed to watching a lot of adults getting drunk a lot. It was difficult to explain why so many adults drink on holiday, but we lead by example, and showed them you can enjoy yourself sober.
Have a wonderful day everyone
You all should be so proud of yourself for what you guys achieved, because I am proud of each and everyone of you. I have an insanely hard road to go to be as strong as you guys. So please BE PROUD!!!
Thank you for all the kind words of support. I know I’m slowly getting better but will have these setbacks. Went out to brunch and that’s about it. Good enough. I’m a little strange today.
Just checking in. Day 474. A cold and rainy day today. I braved the outside for a dog walk but otherwise just spent the day putting the house in order and getting organised for the work week ahead.
@Mischa84 Oh I do hope Dennis is ok and they are ablet o figure out what caused the reaction and most importantly take care of this after effect You are a wonderful beautiful woman. I do hope that you are able to enjoy the visit and not spend time in comparing (we all do it and in the end its silly cause i’m sure she is doing the same thing and you both are great woman with nothing to worry about). You are far from boring my friend. Sending loads of self esteem boosters your way @alycia So great to see you checking in and glad that Bali was a great vacation. So funny how we spend so much money to go away and explore a new place or a vacation and end up getting wasted (spending even more money) only to not remember big chunks of it. How was that fun or considered living? Glad you were able to be good role models for your kids. @chess-the-mess95 Welcome to the community Jessi. It is not an easy road but with a plan and a good support group you can tack on the days One Day At A Time. We got your back here. Read around and ask questions when needed - the beginning is going to be hard but the sober journey does pay off and is very rewarding so stick with it
Checking in on Sunday evening
690 days free of alcohol and weed
1105 days free of cigarettes
The cold rainy day led to a slow start of the day. I did manage to get my butt out for a walk and then completed a work out. Grateful that I was able to follow through with a dinner I had planned and was able to take some for my parents so they did not have to cook tonight. I am now relaxing and hoping to start on a puzzle to keep my mind occupied. I have been thinking a lot of drinking or getting high just to get some relief which I know is silly and non -existent and whatever minor relief I would get for a second will only lead to other health issues and down a dark road. I have been having many conversations with myself and my smarter more calculated always comes through. I am grateful for you all and you amazing stories - seeing quadruple digits and so many getting close to that milestone is very inspiring and I SOOO want that. I will do what I can to protect THAT.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
345 days
Back to the daily routine. Got the kids off to school then went to the gym for an easy workout. Came back home tidied the house a bit then went grocery shopping. Got dinner sorted then picked up the kids from school. Gym for the eldest.
Coffee time on my Monday off. Dreamed some crazy dreams. But I’m OK. I’ve got nothing planned for today really. But will come up with stuff to do. Write a bit and do some chores. Maybe a little walk through town. I am absolutely totally 100% sure it’s not going to involve any drinking or drugging though. Never again. Let’s have as good a day as wel all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
First full weekend sober in I don’t know how long and I forgot how much I love being present. A good busy day of work ahead and I am rested and ready. Not anxious, hung over and full of dread.
I have been in a daze.
Only half paying attention to my life
Feeling super dejected
Numb even…
Still sober
But thinking is letting this keep going a form of self harm? Should i restart my time? If so shouldn’t i also restart it “with a bang” so to speak?
Of course that last part is just intrusive thoughts…ik i shouldn’t
But nothing really matters.
Except the kids.
Gotta be OK enough to keep them safe and happy.
They matter
Middle of the night ramblings… missing my own thread. But its my own fault i can’t see it so I’ll be patient and wait or maybe give up… idk i guess I’ll take it day by day. That’s all anyone can do
Edit to add check in
Day 763 sober
501 sh free ?
14 smoke free
☆Day 2245
Had a good day yesterday. Had lunch with my hubbies family and had a good time. Slept bad, so need coffee (a lot) to start the day.
Today? Work.
Picture of a fox we saw nearby our house a couple of years ago. We saw him ore her for two days at a row and then never again!
It was a special encounter and I was lucky to have my son with me with his new camera to catch it on photo!
Have a good sober day ore night all
Really struggling the past few days to stay within my calorie goal. Probably because I’ve just been at home, bored, but holy crap why is not goving in to cravings so damn hard. I just want to eat what i want. Then when I do that, I’ve gone 1400 calories over my goal. So frustrating. Trying to be kind to myself and remind myself a couple days here and there of going over is okay as long as i generally stay on track.
Tonight might be the night that I finally decide to quit vaping. I’ve gone 3 days without it before, when I was sick, and I was honestly fine. It’s just the oral fixation and repetitive hand movement that sucks to deal with because it’s such a consistent habit. My vape died tonight and I dont have a backup like usual. Its too late, stores are closed. I’ve been thinking abiut quitting soon anyway so I guess nows my time to shine. Part of my brain though is going “I already quit alcohol, cant I just have this one thing?” And the other part of my brain is going “yeah dumbass, you already quit alcohol, so quitting vaping should be no problem, just apply the same concepts” lmaooooo. I do have a vape on my desk but I hate the flavor and havent touched it in months so I doubt I’ll end up reaching for it. I’ve already been dealing with vaping cravings for the past several hours, and I haven’t touched it, so we’ll see how this goes I guess. Part of me still doesnt wamt to quit though, which I think is a huge issue and will eventually prevent me from quitting. I feel like in order to quit something I have to be 100% committed to it, and I’m just not quite there yet. Who knows. Thanks for letting me ramble.
I’ve been more depressed/bored lately, might be because of winter coming, and there’s significantly less daylight. I have a few days off in a row which is nice so I’ve just been trying to rest/relax and give myself what I need.
You are a wonderful beautiful woman. I do hope that you are able to enjoy the visit and not spend time in comparing (we all do it and in the end its silly cause i’m sure she is doing the same thing and you both are great woman with nothing to worry about). You are far from boring my friend. Sending loads of self esteem boosters your way 
is letting this keep going a form of self harm? Should i restart my time? If so shouldn’t i also restart it “with a bang” so to speak?
