Early check-in here at 7:30 AM. Yesterday, my sleep was a little disrupted, but I woke up at 5:00 AM and went for prayer. Now, Iām waiting for breakfast, and afterward, Iāll be traveling to a neighboring state with my friend. Heās traveling to the UK next month and wants to do some shopping.
Nice and sleepy. Breakfast with a new friend tomorrow. Baking Tuesday and Wednesday. Out of town Thursday and Friday. Next week Iāll leave the state for a few days.
@Misokatsu I could never get the courage for karaoke, even with alcoholās help and I love to sing! (in my car ) Itās something Iāve always wanted to be able to do and hope to achieve one day. I tell myself I could go towards the end when everyone else is hammered and will love it either way
@Dolse71 Iām so sorry for your loss Paul Hard thing to face head on, but I know you know what to do when the times get tough. Whatever it takes Sending you strength, old friend
648
Itās kinda funny I just closed the app to reopen it and see what day Iām on, opened it and immediately clicked the ācommunityā button without even looking at the number, and having to redo it But itās also interesting Iāve been doing this for almost the entire time. I definitely see the number several times a day, but I havenāt really been keeping track like I did the first time. Like, I donāt feel as if Iām counting up to something. As much as I like numbers, there isnāt one that will satisfy me here. No goal to reach. Only 24, over and over and over. Oooh, and 25 a couple weeks ago Damn, I love the way I think now! Never wouldāve happened without what Iāve learned here, in recovery I canāt stress this enough to those who are new at this(or even with some time under your belt). Learn as much about recovery as you can and donāt ever stop. Complacency can be our devilās playground. Just when you think youāre strong in your sobriety, it probably means you should put in some extra work. Today is all you got! Hope you make it a good one
I had a good working weekend, no idea why I slept so poorly. Woke up loads of times. Dreamed busy dreams. The only good thing is I woke up one minute before my alarm too. Coffee now, feeling a bit drowsy, itās strange but it reminds me of waking up after smoking too much weed the night before (any amount is too much btw).
Well. I didnāt smoke last night and I wonāt smoke today either. I got work to do. Iāll make today as good a day as I can and I expect the same from all of you. Sober and clean. Much love.
My wife will be travelling out of town today evening for a business meeting. I will be alone. That will be risky. Sheāll be gone just for a couple of days, but being alone will definately lead to temptations. I donāt have any plans other than Netflix and riding my motorcycle. I am worried that I may relapse.
I canāt leave my house and go away for a couple of days since we have 2 dogs. Staying alone at home, will be tough. I know I will get tempted. My sons will be home, but they are grown up and they live in their own worlds.
Hi @BrownGecko, I can imagine that time alone seems daunting.
Any chance you could arrange for a phone check-in with your wife or a friend? Every 4-6 hours, no texting but an actual lucid conversation on the phone. Could that help?
Wellā¦ Iāve got my work cut out for me and feeling slightly overwhelmed. There are 8 exams I need study for. 14 books I need to read by February. Andā¦ I didnāt count the assignments I need to write but itās loads. And this just the first semester. Itās a lot, but I kinda enjoy the chaos. Likeā¦ itās nice feeling like Iām working towards something.
Oh! And I also gotta work because bills still need paying.
Is there still alcohol in your house? You can ask your partner to get rid of it ore let your sons have it hide in their rooms. Maybe give your credit cards to them too? Maybe there are other barriers you can think of so you make it yourself difficult to have access to alcohol. Keeping yourself busy with house shores, working out, a long walk with the dogs, a online AA meeting, recovery podcasts, being here much, etc.
Fill your refigerator with nice foods. Maybe make a great meal for you and your sons and watch a Marvel movie ore something else together afterwards?
Sleepy but slept well, I think I had one of those early to beds by 9pm last night, and I was asleep by ten. My stomach played up a fair bit yesterday afternoon and evening itās giving some food diary patterns though I guess.
This was Japanese style karaoke in individual rooms, so you only are singing in front of your friends, not an entire pub full of strangers like it is in the UK (and I guess US and other countries). I also donāt think there is any substance on Earth that could get me to do that!
Day 1567
I was just moving some stuff in our ājunk roomā and found a bottle of shochu (like rice vodka) that my husband is still hiding from me. It really gave me mixed feelings. Anger that he still doesnāt trust me, and then the following knee-jerk reaction of āfuck it Iāll drink it then if 4 and a half years isnāt good enough for youā, then guilt that literally yesterday I was still having definite thoughts, and back to anger āyes, I had thoughts, but I still resisted them, a-holeā, and now sadness and resignation. Just goes to show recovery is a long term thing, and things still come up and need processing even years into it.
359 days
Last night at work was ok, not too busy. Got home and helped get yhe kids off to school. Went to the gym with a plan to just take it easy, but it didnāt quite go that way.
Got a nap in then saw the kids after school quickly before I had to head in for nightshift again. So far has been steady, not too bad.
@SoberWalker Hope everything is going to go well at work today. @Misokatsu I think you handled the bottle situation in a great way. You got all those thoughts and feelings rushing through you. Your recognized them and you took the right action. Yeay you! Thatās what grownups do. We let the thoughts and emotions inform us, and then we do the next right thing. By the way: I love karaoke @Tragicfarinelli Great number Enjoy the music @Amy30 Wow. That sounds like a lot! I like your energy in tackling all that. Share your wins and frustrations with us, and take time for self care. @BrownGecko Things that worked for me and still do, if I get into tight situations: schedule, patterns, and recovery material. Schedule: Make a detailed schedule for those days. Stuff you need to get done, stuff you want to get done. Put in times, make it realistic. Keep to it, but stay flexible if something shows up that needs doing.
Patterns: What good patterns do you have that will keep you sober? What bad ones that will lead you to using? Are there places, activities, people, routes that lean one or the other way? Include the former in your schedule, take good care to avoid the later.
Recovery material: Read, reflect, listen, watch recovery material every day. Research available in-person or online meetings. Attend one every day. You can just dial in with your phone. This will keep your recovery real. You donāt have to do AA. There are plenty offerings available.
Most important: Reach out for help, when you need it. @Mno Beautiful light in your picture. Thanks! @Just_Laura Yeah, I used to look at those numbers in the beginning. Now I just use them for the check-in. The interactions with the community are far more important. Good to have you here with us. @s_unrelax Double digits friend! Congratulations! You can be very proud of youself, checking in daily, being active with the community. Keep at it!
Busy day already. My daughter has home schooling today. As she was sick home the last weeks we spent the whole morning trying to figure out what she has to do and finding the materials. On the one hand Iām pissed I canāt get any work done. On the other hand thatās life.
My panic attacks lessened last night and this morning compared to yesterday. I am tentatively hoping the dosage adjustment I mad for HRT is working.
My ex is currently staying with us. We are trying to mend our relationship and this is part of it. As a very positive side effect this means I can join friends for sauna in the afternoon as he will take care of our daughter. Looking forward to that.
Todayās picture is a view on the hills and valleys where I live from yesterdayās hike.
Happy to hear that youāre no longer dependent on alcohol when facing stress. 
and I love to sing! (in my car 
) Itās something Iāve always wanted to be able to do and hope to achieve one day. I tell myself I could go towards the end when everyone else is hammered and will love it either way 
Hard thing to face head on, but I know you know what to do when the times get tough. Whatever it takes 
Sending you strength, old friend 
Damn, I love the way I think now! Never wouldāve happened without what Iāve learned here, in recovery 
I had one of those early to beds by 9pm last night, and I was asleep by ten. My stomach played up a fair bit yesterday afternoon and evening 
itās giving some food diary patterns though I guess.
Really looking forward to that. Her music touches my soul deeply; I never really enjoyed classical all that much before, but lately Iām finding I have some interest in some sub genres. Beautiful 
