They helped for a while but some days I just can not relax. Today has been better, took care of some of the things making me anxious.
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Hey beautiful people 
Checking in day 8.
Back to work today. Feeling low energy and low mood. Gonna try to start tomorrow with a workout and see if that improves anything. Have a meeting with my doctor today and will be honest about my struggles as of late and ask for a doctors note to accomodate me for the next bit at work as I donāt wanna lose my job.
Wishing everyone strength in their recovery today 
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15 days. Alcohol free
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Day 520. Just ordered some tweedy kind of jackets to smarten up a bit. All goodā¦
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I havenāt checked in for a while. Still donāt have much to say, i guess. Im still feeling sorta down and not myself. Went out last Thursday evening for dinner and to see the Trans- Siberian Orchestra. It was a nice evening and a good time. Since then, Iāve just been going non-stop. Friday, i spent all day shopping, prepping and baking for a fundraiser Saturday. I was going non-stop Saturday from 7 am til about 11 pm. I was so busy, i forgot to eat! Sunday, it was laundry, cleaning and shopping for Thanksgiving. Now, back to work today. Iāve been having a lot of cravings and thoughts of drinking. Maybe itās my mood or upcoming holidays. I donāt know. Havenāt felt like this in years. Im hoping having some time off work over Thanksgiving and the weekend will be helpful. I gotta get out of this funk.
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Tudors is a great series
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Letās go!!! 
great job
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Its definitely a word combo now haha. Is the day to day getting easier or are weekends/days off more difficult at times?
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235 days sober
Last night I walked my friend home and on my way back I saw a young man get hit by a car. He was walking just a few yards ahead of me and a car lost control on the snowy road and hit him. It was the most terrible sound to hear and terrible to see. I sat with the man while others went for help but unfortunately he never regained consciousness and he passed away. I felt so helplessā¦there wasnāt anything that I could do and I saw no way to help him than to just sit by him and make sure he wasnāt alone.
When I got home I had a craving to drink got through it but itās been a while since thatās happened. I think I was just feeling emotional about what I saw. And today was also not so good. I went to see the family of this young man and helped some with his funeral. I didnāt know him really just someone I saw around town but I feel so bad about what happend and for his family.
Iām doing okay it just shook me up a bit to see this happen.
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Holy cow that is super intense! Sorry that happened to you. Do you have someone in real like to talk to about what you experienced too? Thatās really heavy! Proud of you for not giving into the urge. Takes a lot of strength. Sending some hugs your way 
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Yes I do. I talked to my closest friend and she spent some time with me today. And I have a counselor I meet with online so I can also talk to her. Definitely felt shaken up from seeing this but havenāt had any more cravings since right after last night.
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Im really sorry you witnessed that its an awful thing to see.
Thank you for staying with him in his final moments Im sure he knew he wasnt alone. And Im sure his family are very grateful you stayed with him 
Take extra care of yourself
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Weed is cleared from the system quicker, i donāt have headaches anymore or i sleep a little better (but iām a woman, and God doesnāt want us to get restfull sleep)ā¦ The work is psychological, and creating new habits. I used to love smoking at night staring at the sky. So peaceful, quiet. I just have to make new habits. The urge gets me anytime, i used to smoke all the time.
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For sure, the new habits will come. No headaches is a blessing of blessings, yay! Your body will get to the point you probably wont even crave it. Gotta find a healthy substitute that gives you that same kind of peace and quiet.
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Day 1016
Woke up feeling a bit more rested today. No strange dreams of being lost somewhere lol Apparently (according to google) dreaming that u are lost may mean that u need direction and guidance in life. So it made me think of my health and how i feel like its all out of control.
Anyway i am back on my health routine as of today. Feeling good about it but I also know that I need to be consistent. Thats how i begin to see results. So i planned my meals for the day, will drink more water, and go to the gym for some exercise.
I made that financial phone call this morning. This is the call that i felt so anxious about. The guy was super easy to talk to and very understanding. It was a bit of shock that my monthly payments would be $412 for 6 years to pay it off. But im taking responsibility for my past actions and will pay it off.
I feel grateful today! I feel grateful that i can exercise, that i have shelter and food to eat, that i have warm clothes, that my family is healthy, and most importantly that im clean and sober, bcuz without recovery i have nothing. Have a great day everyone!
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Day 376. At work and its an okay day. Went for a ride with the kid that baught my last ebike. It was a good time, he was young, like 16 or 17 so it felt a little weird hanging out with a younger kid. But still it was cool, atleast his parents trusted me to do that and well it was nice he trusted me too. This morning i got to work and had a little bit of sad feelings, not exactly sure about what. I am very grateful to be where i am today, in 376 days i havenāt had any moments where i have thought i cant do this anymore. Or thought drinking would be nice. One time when we went camping with my mom i had one moment where i was definitely triggered about some cocaine. But i didnt want to use it. Looking forward to Wednesday thursday off and a nice Thanksgiving with heather. Much love
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Congrats StacyAnn!!! Just keep going lady. Great work.
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Had my 5th reset last saterday and really disappointed in myself. 2 days sober now and trying really hard to handle this. Keep focusing and going in for the full 100% nowā¦
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Thank you!
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You got this. A day at a time, and donāt beat yourself up. Shit happens, just donāt live there, ya know?
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