Day 34. Check in.
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Checking in day 1957 AF.
Bought a carpet cleaner and have been having a good clean
Baked a Lemon Drizzle cake…
Bought myself a valentines pressie just because.
Bought myself a few pieces of jewellery from Pandora just because.
Had a curry for dinner and watched Gladiator 2.
Stay safe and sober peeps 
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Checking in on day 557 
today has been a day. I have filed for divorce…feeling all the emotions and brain frazzled, but I’m glad things are progressing. Sending get well hugs to all those that need them @Mischa84 @JazzyS
@Butterflymoonwoman i hope some self care gives you the boost you need and calms that niggling thought
Happy sober Saturday all 
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I thought you seemed a bit off this morning. I’m sorry you’re struggling but that determination is what I’m excited about. You will be okay. It takes time and a lot of reflection and reframing. We are always here, as I’m sure you know. Love and light friend🩷💜🩷
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Hi everyone. Had a great day today! Went out with a friend, sold some old puzzles, finished a puzzle and did my dishes. For some reason I felt very happy, content, and at peace all day and it felt great! Im so happy!!
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Awww you’re very welcome!
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28th day wind down. In bed eating a cliff bar post dinner because I’m STILL hungry for some reason, but I’m listening to my body so I don’t get another bad headache (finally mostly subsided today). Most of the upstairs neighbors have been away so it’s been blessedly quiet… I can’t believe what a difference it makes. We are still exploring our options for potentially moving. I can feel my will running riot so it’s good for me to always come back to the steps and spend time with other crazy alcoholics/addicts like me 
Not a bad day, the weather was beautiful which helps, I did feel a little restless but I feel hopeful for the future, which I didn’t for a year, I had pretty much given up last year and was ok just drinking until I died. Alcohol made me insane, because I do NOT want to die! There is so much to live for, and life is short enough as it is. But I have to keep doing the work every single day, because I am an alcoholic every single day, and my own thinking is what got me where I was, drinking myself to death. It truly is so sad to see so many people doing the same, all over the world.
Started watching Love is Blind UK on Netflix cuz my brain can’t take any higher order thinking than that at the moment 
Thank you @s_unrelax and congrats to you on one week!!! (I think it’s more by now) 
@SarahBear sounds like you are really working your program and toolkit, awesome job!!! 
Welcome back @Betu
Congrats to all the folks with milestones! Let’s keep doing it one day at a time!
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Day 8 - AF
It was a good Sunday, and I can hear the birds singing outside my window. Yesterday, my sleep wasn’t great—I only slept for 3-4 hours. I’ll rest in the afternoon because today is Sunday.
Hope you’re all doing well!
@Butterflymoonwoman 1084 is huge! Congrats, Dana! -38°C is extreme; I can’t even imagine it. In my place, it’s -32°C. I’ve always hated the heat and loved the cold.
@Joyce19 You’re stacking up more days in your sober journey! 
Keep it up, my dear friend!
@LittleMissL 1957 is a big achievement, my dear friend! You reminded me that Valentine’s Day is coming. 
@Dilettante I’m sad to hear that you’ve filed for divorce, but on the other hand, I’m happy that you’re stacking up more sober days—557 is huge!
@MrMoustache Congrats my friend 
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Late check-in day 10 post-pickup.
Closed the day looking up. I was able to see Jupiter, Venus, Saturn, and Mars tonight. So inspiring to see the other planets and realize how little we know. Makes me want to watch a space movie.
Take care everyone and stay strong!!
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@finn Glad that you did end up feeling better. Hopefully this will continue 
@GazIrish Great work on your day 3 and plan to keep yourself busy. Sending well wishes to your Mam and hope all goes smoothly for operation and recovery 
@SarahBear Grateful that you are already planning to utilize the zoom meetings to help you today. Planning on being here reading / posting is also a great way to absorb great advice as well as stay distracted. Look forward to celebrating your 1 week with you tomorrow
@toka WOOT WOOT! Should be very proud of yourself - a huge accomplishment friend 
Keep up the amazing work 
@butterflymoonwoman I totally get the sense of being out of sorts and it leading to a craving. I do hope that you were able to practice some self care. How are you feeling now? DANG that temp is cold! Please stay warm and safe.
Absolutely love this! Love that you are treating yourself 
Hope you enjoyed that cake - it sounds delicious 
@Dilettante Thanks friend. Appreciate the hugs! Sending hugs right back to you. I can only imagine all the emotions flying around and mental processing that you are going through. We are here if you need a shoulder or ear 
@Vanessa8 Well done again on your 300 days of sobriety. Just tagging you here as maybe daily check in’s may help keep those pesky cravings away. Do not let that voice tell you lies. You are 300 days strong my friend - keep stacking up the days
Checking in on Saturday night
773 days free of alcohol and weed
1188 days free of cigarettes (3 years 3 months)
Still have shitty symptoms. Luckily my brother was in the mood to watch horror movies so I was not huddled up in my room all day. It was a lovely day in the sense that I did not feel alone and also got some yummy grub that my mom brought over. Very blessed!
Not much else to report - hoping for some sleep tonight.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
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717
Woke up feeling good again, thankfully 
Work was what I expected. It started to drag after 1pm, but luckily I got 3 customers around 2pm. One was the guy who gave me the TSO tickets. He’s often last to leave the bar at the end of the night. When I drank, I’d rush out of work by 9:50 to make it to the liquor store before close and run into him there regularly. A while back, he commented “Hey, haven’t seen you on Walnut in a while”, so he knows I quit. Today he told me he did dry January and was amazed by how good he felt and how well he slept. Then said it was more like 2 weeks, followed by wine with dinner for the rest of it. But only wine. I was supportive nonetheless. Gotta encourage those making attempts. Over the years, I’ve watched him set goals like this for himself and cave before completing them. Several times. He’s never openly expressed wanting to quit, but it feels like he’s trying to want to. I could be wrong, but it does take one to know one and I feel like I know the real ones. It’s just not my call to make. All I can do is hope for the best 
As glad as I am my ex is out and able to care for our daughter, this is the type of shit I gotta deal with 
I get home to find the backdoor open and he’s asleep. It’s 15°! He tries telling me I was the last one out, but he was outside when I left this morning! That means I heated the outdoors for 7 HOURS!!! 
My house also smelled burnt…which was bc he used the microwave’s ‘popcorn’ button instead of reading the bag (2:40sec vs 1:45sec). Has anyone’s button for that actually been accurate?! The refrigerator door was also open bc the fruit AND cheese drawers weren’t closed! How long was it like that?! Beats me 
Now, I’m truly grateful he does do the dishes, but he didn’t put the clean, dried ones away first. Just stacked 'em as high as they could go 
Lastly, the fucking toilet handle was broken! Again! Same way as last year when he was the last person who used it! And he says he didn’t see it 
I noticed all of this within 5 minutes of being home! Whoa now 
Rant over.
Did he forget how to exist in the real world while he was in jail?! I mean, shit’s crazy, right? But honestly, I’d expect nothing less from him, so I’m not even mad. It’s the reason I hid my favorite cookware this morning So he couldn’t burn it like last time. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. You’re awesome! Keep up the good fight!
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Checking in…
Ugh, I had a good cry earlier cause I forgot I had anonymous messages turned on for my blog on tumblr. I know it sounds silly but they went after my intelligence (in an uncouth way, no less) and a silly hobby of mine, astrology. No I don’t actually believe in it, it’s not a science like chemistry, it’s just fun.
I’ve been having to reteach myself math after two traumatic brain injuries and I’m really nervous about my college admission test. So yeah, it really hurt my feelings when someone told me that “astrology is making you retarded.” I kindly told them about the concussions and to fuck off.
Plenty of my friends came to my defense in my DMs and reassured me that the anonymous messenger should feel bad, not me. And the woman that I did a chart reading for in the first place reassured me that she loved her reading and has always loved following my blog.
I turned off anonymous messages, deleted the astrology posts, and filled my blog with other stuff.
I think the crying had less to do with the message itself, but just as a release for all the stress of everything I’ve been dealing with. The MIL and her outbursts, the SIL and her trying to pick fights with me, the uncertainty of the future. It’s a lot. I’ve had a lot of information and resources thrown at me recently but no material changes in my life, yet.
I’ve been making great progress with my Khan Academy lessons, at least, lots of 10/10’s 
And when I checked in and read some threads here earlier, I noticed I got new user of the month for my contributions 🩷 I thought that was sweet. I check in, I’m shy about replying but I do sometimes. I at least try to leave lots of likes! I wonder who else got recognized? The message I got said only two members a month get it.
Tomorrow is a new day, more studying and relaxing ahead of me
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2066
Last day of work in Utrecht coming up. I guess I never made that much fuzz about switching jobs. And that while I will keep doing the same thing mainly. Or maybe not. Will see. Won’t miss the 
in the morning. Will miss some colleagues. Will remain sober and clean. One day at a time.
Let’s have as good a day as we all can friends. Clean and sober or nothing will come of it. It take a little while yet, but spring is coming. Love.
@Just_Laura I guess your ex never had to close the doors himself when he was inside so he forgot how that stuff works 
@handoferis You’re doing great Eris! A worthy member of the month. Thanks for being here with us all. 
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Likewise!
Hey I’d be curious to know more about these meetings of yours, how and when did you get into it, how many people are there, how often and long do you meet and what do you do there? What’s it like?
Also you do rowing?! Any pics of that? 
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Beer won’t solve this. Working on yourself and maybe working together on your relationship might. Look into therapy and counselling. This is not the time to give up. This is the time to work on the shit. Of your own making and of that made by others. Hang in there friend. It’s good to see you. Hugs.
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Day #6:
Morning everyone. I woke up this morning feeling a bit rough, but through no fault of alcohol as I’m sober. I was however up till about 1am watching sports/TV, and although I’ve slept, it’s 7am now, so I’ve probably only had about 5 hours worth of sleep. I do feel ok, just a bit lethargic. Nevertheless, I didn’t have any plans today, so may have a nap later or just lay low for the day.
Went to my 45th Parkrun yesterday and came 20th out of 157 runners. I know it isn’t about placement, but considering I haven’t ran since the start of January, I felt good & enjoyed the run; two beautiful laps of the lake. Hoping to get out today for a run or a lengthy walk - I find it does wonders for not only my physical health, but also my mental health after I’ve had the chance to get out in fresh-air.
I was considering going to my friend’s bar/pub last night for the weekly karaoke, but I’m glad I didn’t. I’m still early into this process, and I’m not sure how I’d react being in a predicament such as that & being surrounded by people drinking. Like I said, I instead spent the night in the house catching up on sport & what I didn’t catch, I’ll catch up on this morning. It’s sometimes all about the small wins, and I managed to save myself some cash which wasn’t necessary to spend, so that’s a plus.
Other than that, I’m feeling good. ODAAT - have a great day everybody!
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My original family has been looking for contact again yesterday. I then receive WhatsApp messages. Always with open or implied devaluations of my person. As usual. I’m doing very well without contact with them. It took me a long time to break off contact.
Difficult subject.
Still day 34.
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It’s a lovely bright sky this morning, reminiscent of those fruit salad sweets I loved as a kid. 402 days AF, 120 NO THC today. I really hope they accept my latest job submission despite the technical problems yesterday submitting. 
I kinda want this job role. But, let’s see. Got my trusty plumber coming today, a sweet older guy who is just a darling. And good, and fair, and respectful. I always tip him up to more expensive services because he’s so cheap. Doesn’t seem fair to pay less, and he certainly doesn’t ask for it. That’s life; credit where it’s due. 
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428 days
Got up early to watch some ufc, disappointing for us NZ fans.
Cleaned the house as a family then went out for lunch. Then some grocery shopping for the week.
My eldest then wanted to walk to a geocache near our house. It was quite an adventure, through some bush, over a creek on a log. Didn’t find it, suspect it was washed away a couple of years ago when the area was dangerously flooded.
Work tomorrow morning
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Checking in! 
Kicking off day 78!
My weekend starts here! Just had a nice and extended breakfast including scrambled eggs and fresh orange juice. Ready to clean my house … 
. My life is very exciting, I know…
One of the things I wanted to improve in 2025 was increasing my social contacts, cause in active addiction I ended up living like a hermit! And so far so good (at least for my standards). Past Monday I met a friend of mine for coffee, yesterday I met with another friend, and tomorrow I’ve also got plans to go for lunch with a former colleague of mine. Besides that I’m picking my mum up from the airport!
On Thursday I’ll go to my second in person AA meeting! 
Other than that, just going with the flow, and feeling quite at ease! I’ve already missed one day of the February workout challenge! 
I have some catching up to do this afternoon!
I hope everyone has a good one!
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