Just checking in. Ooof today was a bit of a day at work but got through it. One of my students has a chronic medical issue, hes rarely at school and always uncomfortable; one of them is very loud and can get aggrsssive/agitated, which sets of the othef who doesnt like loud noises and is afraid. So much to balance in 3 my-size (I wantsd to say “little” as they are young but they are literally as big as me) humans. Day 4 of no smoking. Definitly feel tired and a bit irritable, but I am okay. Just oooo tired from startinf back thus week and not sleeping so great! Hope son sleeps through the night…poor guy his poor ear. We have had a referral for him to have tubes placed in his ears for 2.5 years now and still waiting…yes, i love our universal healthcare system (that we pay out the ying yang for in tax) but our system is collapsing and it is so frustrating when it comss to our little ones! Going to call the hospital and see what the heck is going on and inquire aboug the waitlist.
Aside fron all this I am okay. Witnessed and was involved jn emerg response to a student who has seizures at school today. It was almost -20 outside and I took my coat off to wrap around his legs, as another teacher spoke softly to him. Such a little guy to endure that, cannot say I wasnt effected.
I’m grateful to be living today with hangover-free mornings and no anxiety or depression. Life still has its challenges—like being unemployed, unmarried, and feeling the pressure of increasing age—but I have hope that everything will fall into place if I stay sober and work hard in the days ahead.
However, I still experience cravings and urges to drink every day, but I’m proud to say I haven’t given in. One challenge I face is the fluctuation in my mood: some days I feel happy and highly motivated, while on other days, I feel lazy and sad for no apparent reason.
After doing some research, I’ve learned that these mood swings are part of the recovery process, as my brain is adjusting to this new, alcohol-free lifestyle. I’m optimistic that, with time, things will improve.
Is anyone else here experiencing similar mood swings in the early days of recovery?
Oh yes… the fluctuation in mood was like a roller coaster… highs n lows and everything in btwn. Its quite normal for sure. Now my mood has settled out for the most part but in early recovery it was hard. Especially when i hadnt learned any new skills yet to manage intense emotion. Overtime, the more i learned diff skills to do this, the easier it became to keep my mood more stable Have u found anything that helps you during ur highs and lows?
Yesterday went well. Luna did pick herself up a little bit. Workday was good, new job seems to be happening (although still not clear when). And there was some sunshine on my way home Today seeing a doc for my hand, very probably not going to solve the issue but maybe at least get some answers to what’s happening? Will have to wait and see.
In the meanwhile, let’s all have as good a day as wel all can friends. Sober and clean or nothing will come from it. Love from my commute.
Went to the doctors office for more tests today. It’s been a year since I stopped drinking, but I did a number on my internals. That’s what lots of years of heavy drinking will do. I just feel lucky to be alive.
Good news is I’m on the mend. Most of my blood work came back already ( I love technology). So far there’s been great progress. Almost back to normal. Still holding my breath waiting for the rest of the results, but I have a good feeling about it.
No plans to drink ever again. I’m more than fine with that.
@Pamela I bargained with myself every which way there was for many years, believing something would work. Eventually, I understood there was no controlling it. The problem was whether or not I cared about the outcome. Tbh, I’m not sure what my warning signs are. The first time I wanted to get sober, it was like a switch flipped. It was night and day and not drinking was easy. Until I got hit by a case of the ‘fuck its’ 10 days into quarantine and ruined the streak for 3 years. I didn’t care anymore. Then one day the switch suddenly flipped back again, and here I am. I guess that’s why I vowed to myself to check in daily this time (something I didn’t do before). I NEED to remember where I was. I NEED to remember what I did. I NEED to remember the truth about my disease. I can’t go back. I won’t! So I remind myself daily, just like it was yesterday. I guess my warning sign would be when I stopped arguing with those lies that still live somewhere in my head…but then wouldn’t it be too late? Hmm. This really got me thinking if I’d even see it coming Can’t ever let my guard down
692
Heh, just realized I wrote 681 yesterday. Anyone even notice? Didn’t think so. Doesn’t matter. I’m here for today! Anyway. I feel pretty good. I braved the arctic tundra early on and accomplished everything I set out to do. Relaxed with a show before school was out, then puttered around the house while my daughter played with a friend. Ended up with another headache by the end, but not as intense as last night. The tasks where I’m looking down seem to be the culprit (another reason to hate the dishes ). Nothing too spectacular, but overall a nice day Hope you all have one too!
Ugh the worst part! I am in this hell right now and it feels neverending. Deep breaths my friend…we will get through this
Yeah you did!! Keep it going champ:muscle:t4:
Seriously the best thing you can do…stay as busy as possible and you will get through the cravings. It does get easier and then you can start making new routines for yourself. Great work @MizzTT welcome back Tasha. Day 1 is awesome work… great to see you putting effort into your sobriety. We are here with you… ODAAT @Kareness hope you do get that review. I’m sure it’s stellar! Good luck with your tests… hopefully some good results . I know it’s nerve-wracking having to wait but these things are out of your hands - do your best to breathe. LOL – yeah that shit is heavy and it was not easy to get it into the basement but now that it is set it is a dream. Hope you will get to use it soon and enjoy it as much as I like mine. @Bomdhil sorry that you relapsed Thomas. Do you have anything left at home? Do get rid of it if you do. Glad you are going to meetings and happy that you are on day 4. Just do not give up on yourself . ODAAT @Pamela it’s important to know the warning signs and have a plan for when they arise. For me the biggest is when I start thinking I never really had a problem. That maybe it was all in my head and I could moderate like the normies. This is when I play back my voicemails to myself and read the notes I wrote in early sobriety listing how bad it was and how hard it was to get to day one…no way do I ever want to repeat that
Good for you! I too don’t mind drinking around me any more but if I had an open bottle of wine around I would be in trouble. Grateful that you poured it out! @sober26 sorry the withdrawals are so bad. Hang in there! 1 week tomorrow . It does get easier. Hope you had a good evening @Catmama23 good luck Lauren. Don’t go into it with feelings of past disappointments. I’m glad that you are seeking better employment and not just settling for where you are at. Grateful that you are not drinking as a way to deal with your manager. Wishing you luck with your job search @Climbin those sites are never easy. I only dipped my toes in a few many years ago and it really was a ego deflater. Don’t get discouraged! @JMS19 it is hard to keep busy during the cold winter months. Maybe take up a hobby like puzzles, coloring in adult coloring books or paint by numbers or baking/ cooking some new and exciting. Feb 1st is a ways away so you do have time to gather more sober days and strength. If you still feel wobbly at that point (which is completely normal in early sobriety) then are you able to not go? Or you could be on antibiotics or make yourself the DD. You are doing great so far…keep this momentum going @Mira_D congratulations on your 4 days smoking free . Good lord…that incident sounds scatas hell. Glad you were there for the little guy. Of course it effected you. Big hugs to you. Hope the guy is safe and well
@s_unrelax excellent work on your sober days! Totally normal to have these mood fluctuations. They do even out and get better and you also develop tools of how to deal with them. Keep stacking up the days. Don’t worry about your age. You are getting your life on track now and it’s never too late to start living. @mno glad to hear the job is a go. Hopefully you’ll find out the when soon🙏🏽. Good luck with your doctor appointment today. Fingers crossed that you can find some relief and comfort with your hands @MNfast that’s great news. We do put our minds and bodies through hell with our addiction. Great to know that we are able to repair some of not all of the damage @Just_Laura I didn’t catch it but to be honest with the crazy amount of posts I have found myself speed reading. Really hope I am not missing anything from anyone. It does matter… You are 693 days sober . It’s great when we can hit that cold air and get our errand / tasks accomplished. I seriously feel so powerful when I get simple stuff like gas and groceries in this cold weather . Hope that headache goes away and you are able to get some sleep
Checking in late Tuesday night…now early Wed
748 days free of alcohol and weed
1163 days free of cigarettes
It was a super busy day and I’m so tired but wired. It’s just a little past midnight here. Glad I am seeing a dent in some of my major tasks.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day/evening. Sending you all so much love
Checking in on day 8. Very tired and cranky:sweat_smile: I am proud of myself though I drove to Tacoma (about two hours from where I live) and realized it’s not as nerve wrecking as I thought and did my advanced state board practical! I feel I did well, maybe a few minor hiccups but I definitely think I should pass. my house in a disaster in all honestly…I have adhd and when my mind is hectic my house gets the same way. With my written state board before that and then this test I’ve only been able to focus on getting through the tests. I have five days until my next, and final practical thank God, so I will be trying to focus on getting my house back in order so my mind can be more at peace too. And continuing on my walks. 🩵 I’m just so burnt out on motherhood too, I raise my son full time alone and he’s severely autistic so it’s a lot on me! Just need to try and decompress. I celebrated passing my written with a 10k step walk with my new weighted vest in fresh air with music playing in my headphones and it felt amazing-much better way to celebrate than alcohol which actually just strips away all the good endorphins.
How long do you have alcohol freei know when i first stopped i could not for the life of me sleep maybe 2 hrs a night for about a month i really had to find things to calm my mind or my stress would drive my anxiety crazy. I started to meditate fir 30 mins before bed and listened to calm forest noises and after a while boom back to minimum 8 hrs a night i just had to learn to slow my mind down. Hope that gives you a little help reach out if you have more questions
493 days
Had a day where a few things didn’t work out for me, added in with the constant dull pain im in it did get me in a mood.
These past few weeks I have had fleeting thoughts of drinking but its almost comical to me when they pop in… they are easily dismissed, maybe earlier on they may not have, but by denying them in the early days you build strength against those thoughts later on.
Anyway i didn’t drink, went to acupuncture and then home to relax with the wife and kids.
Hi all, checking in on Day 110. Life is busy again now back to work and school but it is OK. Going back in is never as bad as you think it is going to be.
Thank you to all for your kind words of the previous thread. My colleague was one of those people that leaves a huge hole as she was so active and full of life. It has been sad being back at work, but I can share this with other colleagues so that is really positive.
I am out and about on site visits today, the pregnancy sickness is finally manageable so can pick that up again. Quite excited I have my 20 week scan next week too. There is a lot of sadness at the moment, but a lot of things to be excited about too.
Have u found anything that helps you during ur highs and lows?
Today seeing a doc for my hand, very probably not going to solve the issue but maybe at least get some answers to what’s happening? Will have to wait and see.
Can’t ever let my guard down 
Anyway. I feel pretty good. I braved the arctic tundra early on and accomplished everything I set out to do. Relaxed with a show before school was out, then puttered around the house while my daughter played with a friend. Ended up with another headache by the end, but not as intense as last night. The tasks where I’m looking down seem to be the culprit (another reason to hate the dishes 
). Nothing too spectacular, but overall a nice day 
Hope you all have one too!
Champ has a good taste, that I guess, we can all agree.
Yeah you did!! Keep it going champ:muscle:t4:
. I know it’s nerve-wracking having to wait but these things are out of your hands - do your best to breathe. LOL – yeah that shit is heavy and it was not easy to get it into the basement but now that it is set it is a dream. Hope you will get to use it soon and enjoy it as much as I like mine.
. Good lord…that incident sounds scatas hell. Glad you were there for the little guy. Of course it effected you. Big hugs to you. Hope the guy is safe and well 
. Hope that headache goes away and you are able to get some sleep
my house in a disaster in all honestly…I have adhd and when my mind is hectic my house gets the same way. With my written state board before that and then this test I’ve only been able to focus on getting through the tests. I have five days until my next, and final practical thank God, so I will be trying to focus on getting my house back in order so my mind can be more at peace too. And continuing on my walks. 🩵 I’m just so burnt out on motherhood too, I raise my son full time alone and he’s severely autistic so it’s a lot on me! Just need to try and decompress. I celebrated passing my written with a 10k step walk with my new weighted vest in fresh air with music playing in my headphones and it felt amazing-much better way to celebrate than alcohol which actually just strips away all the good endorphins.