I spent a big chunk of my life wishing I was dead, since I was 10. I’m 32 now. I then came to a realization. One day I asked myself what death meant to me. What did I find appealing in the idea of not existing. What does death represent? What did it release me from? And I meant to be real specific. It’s a life or death question after all. It represented to me peace, calm, rest, and forgiveness since life was punishment so to die would be a cessation of the punishment: forgiveness.
I then decided to seek those things that I sought in death, in life. You should be here because you already are and you matter. You are important. You deserve happiness and a good life. Unfortunately, we are tasked with the terrible burden of having to create our own happiness and I can say with confidence that the reason we’re all here on this forum is because we stumbled on the wrong path to get there. But keep looking friend, please. You already looked for it in a bottle, it’s not there. Please keep coming back here, and keep trying, one more day. Tomorrow might be the day it clicks. Don’t give up 
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