Checking in. Morning, day 25. Slept well. Up first, so watching the sunrise with coffee while catching up here. I’m getting close to one month, but I am not going to get complacent. I am so glad to be here with all of you people.
I’m working from home today (I have a MWF teaching schedule, so I don’t need to go to campus). I’m planning some reading, meditating, and exercise. My quads are killing me, but this too shall pass. I hope.
Making dirty rice for dinner. I am terrible about not eating in the morning and waiting until mid-afternoon for a late lunch/early dinner. That usually suits me, although I sometimes have a snack before bed.
Now, more coffee.
Stay safe. Stay sober. Stay connected.
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Checking in 3 months cigarette free & 18 months alcohol free 
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Eighteen months is great, @JuliaLuna . Congrats. 
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I spent a big chunk of my life wishing I was dead, since I was 10. I’m 32 now. I then came to a realization. One day I asked myself what death meant to me. What did I find appealing in the idea of not existing. What does death represent? What did it release me from? And I meant to be real specific. It’s a life or death question after all. It represented to me peace, calm, rest, and forgiveness since life was punishment so to die would be a cessation of the punishment: forgiveness.
I then decided to seek those things that I sought in death, in life. You should be here because you already are and you matter. You are important. You deserve happiness and a good life. Unfortunately, we are tasked with the terrible burden of having to create our own happiness and I can say with confidence that the reason we’re all here on this forum is because we stumbled on the wrong path to get there. But keep looking friend, please. You already looked for it in a bottle, it’s not there. Please keep coming back here, and keep trying, one more day. Tomorrow might be the day it clicks. Don’t give up
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@apes2020 love a sober self date. Looks like a good time. Thanks for sharing 
Yeah you will 
. You’ve got a great attitude and have ways to curb the urges when they come. Just have to remind ourselves that they won’t last and you will be better off without the DOC.
@CR84 woohoo 
. Congratulations on your 1 month Cass. Totally something to be proud of!
I feel this deeply as it has been a difficult thing for me to allow myself as well. I think we have been taught that if you rest the. You must be lazy and this is far from the truth. I am glad you are taking the time to listen to your body and resting when needed. Iooh- a huge congrats - very exciting news. 
@Catmama23 sending hugs my friend. It feels like doom and gloom when you are in the thick of it. I am sorry for all that you are going through. Sending yourself some gentle love and remind yourself that you deserve a better life. You have us and your AA group so please lean on us for support. Don’t let the relapse define you. 
Check out the sober muscles . Way to go on your timers friend . So happy for you and thanks for stopping in to share this with us
Checking in on Tuesday morning
Sleep was crappy again. Feel rested enough and enjoying a cup of coffee. Have to find that sweet spot to not let the caffeine blow this headache into a migraine.
I am going to do my best to help with things at work today. Hopefully alsome pool time later
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day… sending you all so much love 
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Congratulations Cass!!!
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Today marks 60 days of my freedom from weed! Couldn’t have done it without the folks on this forum. Here’s to another 24 hours!
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Gym sounds like a wonderful idea. Hope it helps. If you still feel like you are in a bad mental state…here are a few suggestions to help
- go for a walk
- do something you enjoy for self care
- listen or watch comedy
- reach out for support (here or in real life)
- go to a meeting
- read around the threads here…sometimes others stories help remind us why we are doing this and helps make the journey easier
Sending love and strength…hope your day improves 
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You are crushing it! So happy to see your 2 months 
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341 days sober
Just a quick check in. I’ve been so busy with work and then coming home tired. I’ve not slept the best the past few days so between work and that my energy has been lagging. But I’m grateful for my low anxiety and that all is going well.
Hoping for a good long sleep tonight and renewed energy for tomorrow!
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Hello all! Checking in 
I only didnt check in yesterday because I went off the rails in the plan dept and ended up falling asleep right along with the kids Had an appointment and then decided to drive to my moms yesterday instead of today, and once we got here noticed my son was a bit warm and sure enough today he has a raging fever and was up all night. Still very happy to be here. My poor little guy though, it must be a flu type thing because he has a deep cough and fever.
Spoke to the new skating club and am going ro register daughter for the spring, and if it doesnt work out she can do swimming and we’ll start bavk up wt skating in the fall. I reallt hope it works out as she loves skating and I just want her to be taught in a way that encourages, pushes and builds her confidence.
And I wrote my list. Of resentments, guilt and fears. Going through and writing how these things effect me, and then will go back over to see what perspective I can offer. I went through all of my sisters things and beinf here at our childhood home, but I am very flat. I know that its normal and trauma/greif emotions are not a linear thing but its…too flat. Im not a big cryer but I need to be able to tpuch the feelings, or else I am afraid of exploding especiqlly around court. I am not sure if i am actually being “flat” and just expecting myself to cry and be more angry becayse that is whats expected. Dont know. Just watching myself and want to do a little work because my being sober requires it. Xo
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Day 9 checking in. Super sad, not sleeping still. Fell asleep after 5am this morning, up by 7:30 to get kids to school. Went back to sleep but… Didn’t sleep well. Ugh
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That’s HUGE Reece
Congrats on your 60 ODAATs
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Great job Cass
That’s so wicked good!!!
🩶 
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You can’t schedule your emotions. All you can do, I think, is work to equip yourself with the tools for when you need them.
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Day 3
Great day at work, cooked amazing chicken stew for the family!!! And ready for day 4 
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Sad because you aren’t sleeping? Or, not sleeping because you are sad? I hope you are able to sleep and to feel better. Watch out for your alcoholic brain. It loves to feed on tired and sad. Here if you need it. You can do this.
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Thanks. Idk I think it’s just a combination of a lot of things, I’ll reach out if I need to.
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Thank you friends for helping me feel less crazy and alone. I’m still here and taking it one hour at a time.
Isn’t that the truth!!!
@Soli this is an excellent reflection. I think death to me offers release and permission to let go. Which I can work on doing in life, for sure.
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Day 74 check-in.
Have a good 24
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