Good days, bad days and the worst ones Jené. You still show up here. We’re in this together. I’m tired too, for different reasons. And here too. Hugs.
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This is what keeps me getting up and breathing, my friend!
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Checking in day 591 AF 
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Checking in on day 35
Another heatwave during the day, thunderstorms in the evening. It’s been a long time since I had forgotten how much the weather can influence people’s behavior.
Tonight I’m reading under the canopy with the rain pattering on various surfaces and lightning flashing in the distance.
Have a pleasant sober evening, everyone.
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You sound so defeated. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. You are not alone. We are hear for you 
I am not sure where you are located in the states- but there is 211 lines that are resource lines?
@Marit I am so sorry for the loss of your pony. Sending you love 
You doing ok? I know it been challenging with boyfriend and boyfriend mom and his hospital stay etc. How are you holding up?
I like to call those whispers of God. I am glad you saw it and took a minute to reflect. I am happy to hear your wife was their to support you!
Welcome back!! Happy to have you hear. ODAAT.
Checking in day 10! As usual work has been very busy. Today been hard. Lots of emotions from my patients family and my own. Lots of tears today. But crying is good! Lowers cortisol levels in body. I also had that nagging voice of wanting to escape and drown my sorrows. But I am not. Pushed it aside. Staying focused and checking in. Happy thursday everyone.
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Appreciate that. I have checked all resources, everywhere, everyday. Many people in the Help Land have no idea what people with a traumatic brain injury face.
Even the VA can’t help much, unless my kids were under 18, then they’d help. I do stick with the fact they helped save my life because I am covered with VA Medical. They also keep an eye on my brain, so they have that too. Most people have something to be grateful for.
And it’s a bonus that breaking my brain led me directly to what I’ve always known - to get and stay sober.
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So sorry for your loss 
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Checking in on day 30. I feel so different, so much better, than a month ago. I know I need to keep working to strengthen my sober muscles so they are ready to rumble whenever my alcoholic brain starts shit, but I’m feeling good.
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109 days free if alcohol. I am beginning to trust myself more on this matter day by day. I don’t miss the drinking and all the side effects and problems that occured cause of it
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Day 24! I’m finally sleeping better, not 100% but better. I’m sure that it’s only going to get better from here….
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Heyy friend 
Yes my wife is a very important factor to my sobriety
She smokes weed. She has 2 pens. One for up and one for sleep. I asked if I could have some CBD or weed. What was at stake was just a blur. She said softly to me, this is not what you want to here. I immediately snapped back into reality and said, I’m looking for a escape from reality huh, she said yes you are and there’s a lot at stake if you start getting high again. I said your right and the craving started to disappear pretty quick. Then right at the moment I said your right, I looked over and my son was playing with my sobriety coin. There’s always something that tells me good job you didn’t pick up. Whenever I do pick up it’s always a disaster. It’s like my higher power wants me sober
she knows how much I need and want to stop smoking weed. She knows it interferes with my meds and she knows my history with addiction and has seen me at my worst high and drunk.
If I was to say I’ll smoke from now on but I don’t have any I’ll go crazy looking for ways to get some. It’s really bad. I started when I was 13. I’m almost 35 and over 11months free from that ball and chain.
I got my coffee
That’s the only substance I like to mess with. Ill keep it at that and go one day at a time
My life has changed drastically since getting married then more after my amazing child. I am doing the most with my life now then I have ever done be4. From 13 to about 33 I was drunk or high or both. Sobriety saved me from a very bad time that could have been
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@TS66 great job on 30 days Trey! Glad ur feeling so good!
@Nomad620 congratulations on double digits! Great job on pushing those nagging thoughts aside. Ive always been told that tears are healing. Glad u were u able to feel those feelings and just keep going
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892
I have not posted since Checking in #76!
Hello to everyone new since then… I am Squid.
In bed before 11pm, after an evening out. I really enjoyed myself tonight. I have skipped endless events over the past two years in favor of my sobriety… but tonight was just right the way it was.
Bowling followed by a nice meal at a Japanese restaurant. A few people in the group did have alcohol with their meal, but no-one did drink drink. Quite a few designated drivers as well and we all called it a night shortly after 10 and drove home.
I have to say, what I value about an evening out has definitely changed. It’s not about who can stay out the longest or who pays for the most rounds, it’s all about the company you spend your evening/night with. I honestly cannot remember half the names of my “going out girls” during my drinking times. Apart from drinking, we had nothing in common.
Don’t be scared of the things that will change when you get sober. Looking back, the changes within you are the best thing about sobriety.
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All good! Sometimes we need to vent!
@Butterflymoonwoman thank you!!
Hi!! And wise words. Thank you!
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That sounds incredibly frustrating. Im so sorry.
@Noshame so happy to hear! Enjoy your time with your beautiful family tonight!
@Mischa84 beautiful! I am glad to hear you had a wonderful vacation!
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Day 4 and checking in! Feeling pretty good about staying sober still, haven’t talked to any of my friends and they haven’t even checked up on me so that shows something! Anywho I honestly don’t care, this weekend me and my spouse are taking our daughter to the city for a night out and do some shopping for all of us and hopefully picking up our new boat!
feeling. Better and better with each day!
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Checking in on day 751. Work day followed by a beach visit to celebrate doggo finally feeling more like himself with his eyes pretty much back to normal 
driving to my parents tomorrow to spend a few days in Yorkshire, then on to my sister’s house and a trip up to Whitby. Should be fun and I’m excited for doggo to meet their puppy. I haven’t managed to make my RR meeting this week what with my friend visiting, but have been spending extra time here and I will get back to it next week. Sending everyone love and strength 
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Oh this is a huge step forward. Very excited for you all.
100% Sobriety is not just about be abstinent from our vices but learning to live life on life’s terms. Re-introducing us to ourselves and finding out how to deal with all our emotions that we have buried or oh so long. It is not an easy path but it is so worthwhile. Keep putting in the work 
Absolutely loved this. So grateful that you didn’t choose an old method of escaping. We don’t do that anymore. Grateful for the journey and the progress. Another day sober 
@amelie Well done on your 4 weeks! Good luck with the business pitch 
@marit Oh hun I’m so sorry! Sending you big hugs my friend. 
We are here with you!
@1in8billion Sorry the work did not pan out. Good luck with getting something new lined up. I know its hard to find like minded people that you click with the older we get. Don’t give up on it. Maybe some meet ups may help. Hope you enjoy a good movie tonight
@juli1 Wonderful check in friend. Glad the Bodybalance class and a good swim helped.
@gooligar Great work Jay - glad you are back here on day 1. Make your plan on how to keep yourself busy and find ways to battle the urges. Connecting with people in meetings or on these threads help not feeling so alone with the journey. Keep showing up for yourself
@earnit I am so sorry friend. You are checking in and that I hope helps you feel connected. I know I was told that you get rejected at least 3 times before you have a shot with disability. Even then it only goes forward with the help of a disability lawyer. I wish you good luck with the lawyer. Don’t give up on it cause you for sure deserve to get the disability help.
@nomad620 Great work on your double digits and not giving into that nagging voice. You are stronger than that voice and you have proven that you can do the hard things. Stay strong friend. Keep pushing forward
@ts66 YIPPEE day 30 is awesome 
Way to go with your 1 month 
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@mischa84 sorry your h wasn’t any better on vacation. Glad you did have a good time and didn’t let his attitude / behavior ruin your time. Your pics looked beautiful
@systematicsupernova Don’t apologize for expressing your feels. We have good days and we have bad days. The beginning is filled with frustrating anger filled days battling that addiction monster. I am sorry that you have hurt your hand and it makes it harder to do the things that helped you stay distracted. You know your hand will heal and you will be stronger for not having given in. Keep up the great work friend. your 2 weeks is right around the corner. Check out this thread for possible inspiration Share your hobbies
Wonderful message! Glad you went out and had a good time. 
@kyleen1 Welcome to the check in thread. Great to see you working on your day 4. Keep putting in the work on your sobriety and only focus on those who are there to help you flourish. Excited that you will be picking up a boat this weekend. hope you all have some fun time on the water
@Dilettante Glad that your doggo is doing better 
Checking in on Thursday evening
967 days free of alcohol and weed
1382 days free of cigarettes
Day started off great. Got my butt moving early and managed to get a lot of stuff done. I fizzled out around noon and have not been able to get moving since. I am trying to focus on the positive and going with the flow.
Did manage to get in a few naps in today so that was lovely. I do miss sleep LOL. Watching some corny movies in the back ground as I catch up here.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
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Day 231
Today was a tough day . I haven’t had a good nights sleep In days and today at work was brutal. It felt like every other person we served today was miserable and rude and nothing was going the way it’s supposed to but drinking still wasn’t a thought. We had to stop for gas on the way home and when I went in to pre-pay and had to stand in line I looked around and noticed there was literally alcohol everywhere. When it became legal here for gas stations and convenience store to sell booze not long ago most had a single cooler . Now it’s like a liquor store that sells gas and smokes with barely any candy or soft drinks in sight. It suddenly felt very small in there as I waited in line and thoughts of grabbing something became really strong like I actually started to sweat a little and could almost feel that first swig going down. So I stared at their floor and just breathed until the old lady in front of me was finally finished selecting 5 million scratch tickets . When I reached the counter I seen these mini wine bottlles front and centre at the cash And thought wow I could probably down one of those and make it back to the car before my partner even finishes pumping the gas and nobody would know. I even picked one up and had it in my hand for a few seconds but luckily my sanity kicked back in and I told myself I was just really tired and maybe in need of a snack for a bit of energy and grabbed myself a quest bar instead paid and got the fuck out of there. I came home made dinner and logged right into a zoom meeting after. Not gonna lie tonight kind of scared me a little becasue I haven’t had an urge like that in a long time. I came kind of close to throwing it all away which has me feeling a bit disappointed in myself. Anyways I hope you all had a good day. I’m gonna try to get a good nights rest . Stay safe and sober everyone.
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