Day 65. Just a quick check in. Pretty tired and looking forward to bed.
17 Likes
Nice sober days you got there Yes Iāve been going to bed for about an hour now 
itās this goddam app and all the wonderful people on it keeping me awake.
2 Likes
oooo I do love a bit of controversial banter. I would like to point out, if you canāt get through today there is no next week or next month.
Just stoking the fire.
3 Likes
ā¦gloves on or UFC rules? 
gloves definitely, no punching below the belt.
you win by default, I need sleep. congratulations champ 
Alright 
Touch gloves?
I couldnāt find a Boxing glove emoji so heres a croissant you can have. 
4 Likes
Well looky-looky 
ā¦ and it was a total fluke that I looked when I did 
Saw a psychiatrist for the first time today. Have 2 new meds. Fingers crossed, although itās basically a chemistry experiment until it works 
29 Likes
Day 21
Finished a virtual bike ride on Zwift. Now cooking, work, then bed.
My virtual bike riding avatar:
19 Likes
Day 36, They tired the whole ABA mental health side of our company. My counterpart on that side was let go. Moral is low.
10 Likes
Checking in 9 days sober 
11 Likes
What a beautiful screen shot @C_8! Well done. Really hope the meds do what you need them to do. I know mine make a huge difference in my life. Big hugs to you lady! Keep going!
1 Like
Checking in at the end of day 153. Got up super early this morning to do a workout before heading in to the office. So here it is just 9pm and Iām ready for bed. Iām sober. Iām healthy. I have friends and family. I have a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes I just have to remind myself of that. 
25 Likes
Lovely post to read 
1 Like
Day 463. Iām already done for the week, as far as energy and morale goes. Volunteering was sooo anxiety-ridden, I contemplated quitting this morning actually before going in. But I didnāt let myself out of it. I may not have made a commitment to them for how long Iād volunteer, but I did make one to myself that Iād put in my best effort as long as it made sense to keep volunteering. I still have my reasons, and I scrounged up enough discipline and calm to show up. Showed up, not knowing how Iād stay, but I put one foot in front of the other, one root vegetable at a time. Between that and group, I have felt too depleted to do any of my own personal stuff apart from instrument practice (which again was a matter of discipline today). I am trying to remind myself of what I have done and what is realistic to hope to still do, rather than pressure myself to do everything possible until the clock strikes bedtime. But itās so haaaarrrdā¦ anyways, should probably take tonight easy. Tackle emails and homework and prep for tomorrow, leave my projects for another day? Weāll see.
And Iāve been wrestling weird feels all day. Not sure if Iām just worn down or if Iām processing something subconsciously or what. Thereās no clear source. But what can I do? Carry on.
17 Likes
Your trying to tell us that you didnāt have to try for this Cate? Seriously? 
Anyway, nice one girl. Itās great to see!
2 Likes
James, this is all anyone can ask mate. Donāt forget that the last few months youāve had other things going on. Itās gonna take a bit of time to get used to doing a bit more.
Take your time to get used to it.
Love ya buddy, think your doing excellent!
2 Likes
Iām checking in at day 69.
Oh boy! Iāve wanted to act out so bad these past three days. Ugh!
And since my phone was blocked, I got to thinking of going to a strip club, or a massage parlor, or picking up a streetwalker. I did a lot of nasty searches on my GPS. I even drove down a seedy area of town to spot hookers. (I didnāt find any.) I was trying to justify to myself if I just get a massage and nothing else, itās not acting out. Or if I enter a lingerie bar, itās not really a strip club and not acting out.
Both of those behaviors are clearly defined in my inner circle. Iām glad I didnāt follow through.
Saturday night, I disabled my locks when they expired at 11:59 PM. And the only thing that saved me from losing sobriety was Covenant Eyes. If it werenāt for that, I would be back at day 1. But I didnāt want to get ālitā up. So I steered clear of anything questionable.
I asked myself why spend so much money on a prostitute or strip club? Just buy a new device. But I wouldnāt do that. Because I didnāt want to do porn, I wanted to have sex. Porn is just foreplay to me. I take this to a whole different level.
This morning, I regained clarity and put my locks back on. But later in the day, Iām craving again. Every sight of a woman just sets me off. White knuckling it? Yes. Iām all out of white knuckle jokes. Iāve hit a wall. One day at a time. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!
I know I didnāt earn my sobriety lately. It took a miraculous turn from God to keep me from doing what I wanted to soooo bad. Iāll still take it, though.
Thank you, everyone. You are all so strong and awesome.
17 Likes
YOU are strong and awesome!
1 Like
74.98
Going to bed sober, becauseā¦
12 Likes