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I thought about drinking the other day. I guess I thought about it to punish myself because of a weird place I’m in…in limbo, maybe. I wanted to stop thinking and just wished I had a different mind. I wished who I was wasn’t so annoying. But this is who I am and I can’t hate myself. I did that for such a long time. I don’t want to go back to those coping mechanisms of self hate and pity. So the thought about drinking to escape left as fast as it came.
Recently I thought about where I would be if I hadn’t started on this path of sobriety and it was a really shitty thought. Almost a nightmare tbh. Lost, lonely, hating myself. I don’t want to be that person anymore and I’m so happy I’m far from that who I was.
Went to sleep anxious and now I got up anxious too. About work, about my doctor’s appointment, about my friend, about life in general I guess. I’m tired. At least I’m not drinking (I’m thinking about that too now @Lionfish, thanks). I don’t like how I feel right now either though. At least I’m giving myself a chance at better times right? Sober and clean. Here we go and here I go. Have a good day all. Love from Amsterdam.
Checking in…
still got the flu when I’m not sleeping I will be reading on this forum
Yesterday I tried to watch some Netflix but I was falling asleep constantly, and when I was awake I couldn’t concentrate long enough to follow the story… aaarrrgghh I wanna get fit and work again.
@aircircle congrats on 500 days! @Fargesia_murielae congrats on 200 days! Always looking forward to your posts on this forum. @Blueroom 90 days! @Lilemm congrats on 90 days!
And the rest I forgot to tag!
Wish you all a sober, clean and calm day!
Stay strong, one day at a time
Welcome back beardy/Chris! Glad you opened up @Beardy_McTallman Sorry to hear you having hard times man Hope it will help to be here again!
We’re still here for you!
That’s a nice key tag @Lilemm, you earned it Emma! Proud of you!
Does your friend knows about your new sober life @sobeRose? Otherwise I would mention it before you go, or saying you can’t drink because of your medication. It helps to set bounderies before you go. For yourself ànd for her.
I’ve read that book too @Winchester, it was a good read! She has a blog too did you knew that?
Let’s drown Brittany? I’ll help! Hated that second voice in my head too @Girlinterrupted. Glad I don’t hear it that often anymore. Keep fighting her Beth and you will win!!
Aaaaahhh @Lisa07! That would make me scream too! Some days are like that…
Like nothing can go well. But you managed to get trough it sober ànd you came here to vent, that’s great! Do you have a meditation app? (Like Insight timer). It helps me in situations like that. Like a calm island in a rough sea.
day 115 alcohol and 75 weed, most annoying drink dream ever last night, spent the night in the pub trying to buy a pint but everytime I tried someone I knew kept turning up, so a dry drink dream. bastard bc I do enjoy a drink dream it’s so real and refreshing this one has left me parched. Have a wonderful sober day people. Be True To Thine Own Self.
I can’t help it , I may pay someone to have it put on the side if all buses and train station,just so wherever you go I can wind u up that I get keyring and you get coins.oh did I say that the year keyring glows in the dark
I think you might have mentioned it. I would never get bored of looking at it and it definitely would not wind me up, it would remind me how proud I am to know you and be just a tiny part of your journey.
Checking in on day 146. Some days are good some are bad. But all these days are sober days and that’s what counts. I ultimately think of alcohol very rarely. I don’t normally have the urge to drink. It’s just sometimes where I get melancholic about it. But this feeling goes away instantly when I think about the consequences. Today is a good day. And I feel stronger each day I wake up sober. Life is good having a clear mind. I wish everyone a good sober day, positive thoughts and good vibes.
when I’m not sleeping I will be reading on this forum 
Sorry to hear you having hard times man 
Some days are like that…
