754 sugar
618 UPF
Woke up in the dark and got to see a beautiful sicle moon and then the sun rising so slowly. Going to get into my art practice after multiple weeks of abscence. Need to get back into the feeling of my project. Also back into rowing and exercise.
Peace and love always 
Day 3 sober (162 days since I started the journey).
A lot of you kindly replied in regards to my first relapse on Friday evening. I’m feeling ok about it today and rather than guilt taking hold I’m trying to learn.
I suffer from Bipolar, and as any of you who have had to deal with the same, the process of diagnosis and potential remedies is a years long journey.
Two weeks ago I could feel myself become more manic and felt this extreme for the first time while sober. It took a huge toll on me and by Friday I actively made the decision to have that first drink. The one thing I did learn from my sober life was that honesty really is the best policy. So I faced the music and got home early to tell my partner I was drunk. She has been nothing short of a saint this weekend and I feel like rather than this being a fresh start I would rather count it as day 162 with one dodgy evening.
Open to all thoughts on this and thanks for the support. X
Love the colors!
Day one 
..
Day 26
Up early and it’s been too long since I’ve done a check in.
I got a sponsor yesterday! I’m really excited to work with him. Woke up this morning to a great reading he sent me about faith.
I’m starting my morning routine early to actually pray on time for the first time in forever! I pray every morning but after sunrise which isn’t the practice of my religion.
I’m looking toward to the day. I’ve got to finalize some travel plans. After I drop the kids at school, my day is structured around meetings that I enjoy. I’m going to make avocado devilled eggs today. I’m doing a fridge clean out for dinner, so excited about the unknown dish that I’m going to make.
Everyone has the power today by the faith in their higher power to live the way they want!
Enjoy everyone.
I admire how thoughtfully you’re dealing with this situation. Congratulations on that — it’s really not easy. I’m sorry to read that you’re living with bipolar disorder. That is definitely a lifelong journey. Do you have good support for it?
As for how you’re evaluating your slip, I see it in a similar way. You’re on a completely different level than you were at the beginning. It’s not a total setback, but just a bump in the road.
Day 4fitty. Up early to turn 43 today 
. Makes me miss my Mom like crazy. I honestly can’t fully believe she is gone. Life feels heavy sometimes when I think of the impermanence of things. Have made it a point not to take health and time with loved ones for granted. Her passing last year was actually part of what snapped me into stopping the chronic relapse cycle and led to a greater understanding of things. I want be sober now. I want to enjoy the life I have while I have it. I cant do that drunk or hungover. 
Happy birthday!!
Hey all, checking in on day 2010. I hope everybody has a good one!
Happy birthday!
I live in London and I’m lucky enough to have a very good GP. I have a therapist who prescribes the big hitting meds that I need but the one thing I do not ever take is Lithium. I’ve found the side effects make it difficult to work and that’s a complete no for me.
My family are extremely supportive and have had to deal with a lot since I started showing signs as a teenager. There is a lot of stigma over bipolar in particular, and also a lot of false diagnoses as it requires years of being monitored by a therapist during bouts of suspected mania. It also is a spectrum in itself and I rarely suffer from depression; I am on a level and have 1/2 week long bouts of mania at intervals that can be affected by my life situation.
I’m trying to monitor the signs but once inside that period of mania it can be very hard to see the wood for the trees. It’s why I’m so fearful of it.
This topic was automatically closed after reaching the maximum limit of 2500 replies. Continue discussion at Checking in daily to maintain focus #81 (Part 53).