Friday morning here. Long, high-effort days this week. Trying to start my day with abundance mentality, and stay positive. In my own sole source of motivation often these days. Every day this week, I wake up and start my day glad I didn’t cave in and drink the night before to ‘make the evening housework and routine fun’. Glad to be here checking in with you. Peace.
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Just hit 200 days without THC. 200 Sotally Tober. Still going strong with laying off all the other stuff too.
In some ways I feel like I’ve come so far. Some big changes have occurred. In other ways I recognize that I’ve only just started on this journey of sobriety and self discovery.
I have grown emotionally stronger than ever before but I think that still amounts to being a hairy man-toddler with an over inflated ego. But at least I see it with clear eyes. Awareness is the first step right?
In the last couple of weeks I have started to see that my mission for now is just to make taking care of myself (all facets of my life) my primary obligation. My purpose doesn’t need to be a profound directive to solve a societal shortcoming. While that may be a piece as I move forward, I’m still learning to stand on my own two feet. That’ll be the case for a while and that’s something I can accept.
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Two hundred! You have had a super stressful year and did this while walking through major life changes! 
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334 AF Hope everyone has a great day !!!
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Good morning friends, day 155. And 399 days until my penciled-in retirement target! Woohoo.
It’s been a long week watching the grandkids each day. Happy to be able to help.
But, this is a young person’s game.
Have a great day and relaxing weekend ahead!
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Have a safe voyage and leave some fish for the other boats to catch!
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Day 173.
Slept terribly again last night. To those of you who have dropped insomnia recommendations, thank you. My husband is a heavy sleeper, so LoFi on in the background may help (and not disturb him). I just feel so deeply lost right now. Trying to lean into this moment of pause the universe has gifted me, but I’m feeling so unsure of so many things.
I’m supposed to be planning a trip to Paris in September/October for my study abroad requirement, but I have done absolutely nothing but update my passport. I’m supposed to be writing a book that needs a first draft finished by November and I’ve been staring at giant printed piles of unfinished essay drafts and half-baked ideas for MONTHS. Hubs and I have talked on and off about kids (clock’s a tickin…) and we continue to get nowhere. Pretty soon the decision will be made for us. It’s hard to choose children when we can barely support ourselves. Money is TIGHT and only one of us even has health insurance. We’re down to one car - sold the backup - and although progress is being made, we are still drowning in debt and interest. Slow and steady… but where does the time go?
We’re trying to sort out where the hell we’ll be moving after this stint in Vegas (we know we don’t want to stay here) and we’re coming up on one year out in June. A cross-country move takes a lot of planning and money and we’re just feeling a bit squeezed right now.
One day at a time has been helping us compartmentalize the insanity, but there are so many elements of our lives that have to be planned for. That need more than a one-day prep period. Conceptually, I understand breaking things down into steps, but in practice, some of these massive projects/trips/decisions are paralyzing to look at head-on.
I used to drink to get through making these decisions. It helped me get out of my own way enough to see things clearer (I know it sounds wrong, but it did actually help me take action). Sober, I struggle to take action. I end up flailing for much longer, vacillating back and forth on pros and cons, unable to just fucking do anything.
Maybe “clearer” is the wrong word…. it helped me get out of my own way. It quieted the voice that doubts every decision and second-guesses every move. Now, I feel stuck in purgatory, clumsily making my way through the days with no connection to my inner compass anymore. I have no idea what I actually want.
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What drinking did for me, and you, was remove inhibitions. So choices were made impulsively.
Have you tried meditation and asking to be shown a good path? Not the “right” one, but a good one? Then you can do the legwork, making the changes needed, and leave the result up to the Universe. That way, your energy will not be wasted, and actions you take will yield positive results, whether you planned those results or not.
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Day 270 AF 
Work was so busy this week! I am very much looking forward to some downtime this weekend. It’s supposed to rain most the weekend so we might go see Project Hail Mary.
Feeling physically good overall but noticing I have been frustrated/overwhelmed after heavy social interactions. It’s almost too much stimulation for me and yesterday I drove home from work in complete silence. Usually I enjoy a podcast or audiobook to unwind but even found that to be too much.
When I got home my boyfriend also had a long day and started venting. (Which is totally welcome with how much he supports me when I do the same). I noticed instead of just listening to him I went into solve mode. Not sure if that’s because I spent my whole week at work solving problems or if I just want to help but sometimes I wish I could just listen and not interrupt/interject. Trying to reflect on where I can better myself but just feeling socially/mentally at my max.
Going to join a SMART recovery online meeting this afternoon. First one in a while, but craving some connections with more people lately that can relate to the journey I am on. Just can’t figure out why I am so nervous to join. 
Have to remind myself that it’s like riding a bike and I’ll be happy once I do.
Happy Friday and hope everyone enjoys their weekends!
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Day 1637 AF
Day 4 No PMO
Just checking in.
ODAAT 
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Day 1517
Another busy day after another overnight shift. Normally my caffeine tolerance is very high and coffee doesnt do much, but today the coffee is helping a lot!
I got my cake filled, crumb coated, frosted and in the frudge to chill. Took my son to his eye appt. Then home for lunch, and now back out to his SLP appt and to Petvalu for Eel food. Theb back home to add a white chocolate drip to the cake and piped border along the bottom.
I finally get to sleep well tonight 
AND tmrw!! So im excited. And Im actually excited to go to work tomorrow as it gives me a little break from doing soooo much. Ive been go go go for days now! All while on little sleep. So this will be much needed.
Hope everyone is doing well on this lovely Friday! Lets do this day addiction free!
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Good day, evening, or morning to everyone 
I’m doing quite well, although life has its own ways of testing your resilience, self-compassion, and how grounded you really are, so that your mindset and actions come from your authentic self. There are many beautiful souls here who probably understand this even better than I do. 
I always believed that people who succeed at work do so because of hard work, intelligence, staying away from office politics, and making sure their achievements are visible to their leaders.
But lately, I’m not so sure. From my own experience, and based on real situations, it feels like the more my leaders appreciate my performance, the more negative the direct or indirect reactions I get from some colleagues. It has really gotten under my skin, and my overthinking has gone into overdrive.
So, this is me on the picture Trying to get rid off that behavioral pattern. It’s manageable 
Wish you a fine Friday 
PS: please throw at me any thoughts of yours that resonate with you on this matter. Any kind.
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Checking in
Work today was ok, but very busy. I’m really longing for the missing receptionist to come back soon from her sick leave! I spend most of the time at the front desk or attending calls, and my boss still expects me to do all my regular work and meeting my deadlines 
Poco a poco!
Cravings were ok today, I went for a walk and it has been very hot for this time of the year, though that’ll change this weekend, it’s gonna rain and temperatures drop about 10C
Tomorrow is my Friday! 
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Love to see u posting friend 
Glad things are generally going well for u! Im sorry to hear about the negativity towards u from ur colleagues. Could it be a bit of jealousy on their end? Either way, whats important is that YOU are satsified with the work you do. What other people think of us, is truly none of our business… as that saying goes lol
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8.05 years. We do recover. It’s been a long while since I checked in. So many new names and faces, that is so wonderful an amazing to see. I cannot believe the life sobriety has given me. Every year sober, I get busier and busier. Besides growing food, raising ducks, we have moved into maple syrup, honey bees, raising chickens and turkeys. The more we produce, the more we can give away….a concept the drunk me would have never ever fathomed. Good to see so many friends. Better to see so many new (at least to me) soon to be friends.
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Love that Thank you 
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As it is great to see you dropping in Scott. And read all is going so well for you all. Going from strength to strength yes. Hugs friend.
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Scott, if you’re raising turkeys, you’re a better man than I! It’s good to see you checking in. Blessings on you and Mrs. Monkey.
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A-468 C-412 THC-194 N-130
The feeling of burnout seems to be receding slowly in accordance with my “foot to the brakes” on a few things in my life. I’m thankful I have the wiggle room to be able to brake at all. I think I take the amount of freedom I have access to for granted, something I plan on remedying.
I’m grateful for downtime, for “barista lovers” oatmilk, and for family movie nights at the theater! 
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1 Week, 5 days - Second Check in
Just checking in say I made it to the end of the day. I still feel really overwhelmed, tired, strung out but I have been able to enjoy time with my family and that was great.
I’m trying to wind down with some painting but its not working right now. Thats ok though. I’m learning to move on and try and find what works. It may be a bath and an early night is just what a need.
I hope everyone has a great sober day.
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