This is awesome 
Well done on 2 weeks thatās amazing , and also all power to you for standing strong on your boundaries, something Iām ver much still working on 
You should be really proud , glad to have you on this journey with us.
Iām not a religious person either but if it helps it helps and itās a good way to connect with other people in recovery . Make some new friends you align with in your new life .
One day at a time , weāve got this 
Day 29 sober and clean 
Today has been an alright day ā¦ nothing much to report really Iāve been working on some online training most of the day as the deadline is Wednesdayā¦itās been a little tedious because the app kept kicking me out and I had to repeat the section I had just done ā¦ it felt a little like a treat but i stuck with its and got a good chunk of it finished .
My bestie is back off her holiday so I loved having a bit of a FaceTime catch up with her .
I did some more of my jigsaw ,and Iām looking forward to going shopping with my mum tomorrow I havenāt seen her in a couple of weeks .
No cravings today been pretty settled in myself ā¦ Iām looking forward to my Face to face AA meeting tomorrow and having a catch up with those guys.
Iāve clicked a lot with one lady and Iām thinking of asking her to be my sponsor as sheās the lady I called on Saturday when I was struggling and she was super helpful and all called me on my bullshit behaviour at the same time and I think thatās the kind of person I need .
Not sure how to ask though ā¦.
Have a lovely evening sober fam
Amazing work to be almost at a month sober. So pleased for you @Puddingface33 !!
Day 2 Checking in
I had all the usual joys today of being two days without PMO. Namely pushing myself to keep busy, getting over tired, negative internal monologue, cognitive distortions, anxiety but, it felt further away than it has done in the past. To the point where I was having a conversation with my partner and I picked myself up on the start of what would have been an argument in months past.
@Butterflymoonwoman thank you for the advice. I really noticed today how, unless I schedule in a break, I wonāt stop. Today I had 2 breaks today. The first was at 10am, the second was at dinner (which was at 6:40pm) I started going at 7:30am.
Tomorrow the aim is for more breaks and more self care. I had some cravings today but I am actively holding my boundary today. Early bed time with a book for me, on to another sober day tomorrow.
Hi, dude. Congrats on day 3.
I think I was in a similar situation to yourself earlier in the year. I booked and paid for a holiday before I fully committed to sobriety, before I joined this place or even knew it existed, the holiday was booked with drinking in mind, because whatās better than balmy spring evenings soaking up the atmosphere in the cafe bars and restaurants of southern Spain enjoying fine wines and wonderful cuisine.. (to a normal drinker, not much)
I was 65 days into my longest ever streak when I went away. It was relatively early days in my sobriety but I thought I would be ok, Iād overcome lots of hurdles and banished triggers like swatting flies. My life was carrying on the same but without booze. Travelling to Spain was one trigger and hurdle too far, though. A day or two before the trip I was getting overwhelming powerful urges, like nervous breakdown powerful. I intended to abstain, I really did, but I fell. I fell and relapsed.
I feel that those emotions and experiences gave me strength, all of it, the disappointment, the regret, the shame, the weaknessā. But what doesnāt kill you makes you stronger, right? Well it did for me, because I have a defiant streak in me and I can channel it mentally to my own advantage. This time I channelled it against alcohol and my addiction and my relapse.
So why do you not consider drinking whilst on holiday a relapse? Did you plan to drink? If so, why? Is it likely to be recurring? Do you want to be sober or are you just trying to reduce your drinking? Was drinking on holiday worth it?
NGL I felt early sobriety very overwhelming but that feeling has gone, either Iāve subconsciously accepted it or Iāve gotten answers to allay it.
I hope it passes for you, but donāt expect it to happen overnight.
I bet! You are a day away from a huge milestone. This is when our addict mind starts acting up. You have been through a hell of a year. Be proud and keep going strong. Look forward to celebrating with you tomorrow 
wow - that is impressive my friend. It really is such a marvelous moment when our sobriety starts to stick and we realize how beautiful sober life can really be. Keep going strong 
@Staringupfromthewell āonly tool I have developed so far is distractionā - this is a key realization that you need other avenues to work on for your recovery. Distraction alone will not work as you have seen. We have many threads here that may be useful for you if you havenāt already explored them. A sponsor may also be a good idea to have someone in real life to help you through the rough moments and keep you accountable.
@Madds You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You have the tools and support - remember to utilize it when in need. āSabotaging your own pathā - yeah that is how our addiction keeps hold of us. You are worth a sober life - donāt let any thoughts fester / develop that tell you otherwise
@Marieke 
Hope you were able to find that balance today and put that wobbly feeling to rest 
enjoy that fresh baked bread 
@ceejayboi whoohoo! 2 weeks is great work Love your attitude and how you are handling relationships and learning your own worth 
@Butterflymoonwoman Love your number today and a huge congrats on your 1 week milestone 
SO proud of you and glad you are doing so well in listening to your body
@poppyfairy 
Girl you are not alone - I did the 2025 or is it 2026 just today. Also as for age ā I literally have to do the math every time I try to think of my age - it just does not stick LOL. No need to feel embarrassed 
@Jesile Oh Jenny ā no need to apologize - this is a safe space. Rant away! I am so sorry for the mood and the sobriety funk. I totally understand where you are coming from. For me I had to realize that alcohol itself is a literal poison. We say it, read it but until we can fully agree and understand it then and only then does it help us not feel that FOMO. The check in / privacy can fringe on oneās comfort level. Share what you want and however much you want. You can even do private threads where you invite who you want and that way you can keep a journal of your journey and not have it open to the whole internet (just a thought). Sending you hugs and strength - You definitely are not missing out on anything fun by staying sober The obsession will lift eventually - just stick with your path my friend
@DanielaJ wishing you a sweet long slumber tonight 
@tweedy1984 Well done - something to be proud of.
@Alexh666 OH wow - that is impressive. So lovely that they offer these items for free. it is a bittersweet sensation I agree. Grateful that it is available
@apes2020 there it is ā I was looking for your 2 weeks! Well done April I love the treat - enjoy every sip 
checking in on Monday afternoon
1300 days free of alcohol and weed
1715 days free of cigarettes
It has been a day. I did manage to get to the pool but only did an hour swim and even that had some stops as a member was being a fucktard. She refused to listen to anyone and decided she would disobey everyone and climb over the lane dividers - how you do that when in the pool is beyond me and iām sorry but the lady was not a dainty leafā¦ so yup - she snapped the wire and broke the divider. Then she blamed it on its flimsy nature (BS). She had the lane (which holds two swimmers) to herself and I asked her to stay close to the other divider so she did not knock into me. I moved even closer to the other side to give her plenty of room (she had 2.25 lanes to herself) and YET - she still hits me. I asked her to stop and watch her swimming and she said she cannot as she needs to do back strokes and that makes her take up as much area as is necessary - lady WTF. The lifeguard got involved and asked her to mind her space. Grateful I did not get angry or loud or curse. This was a win for me LOL I was too paranoid of being hit again as it causes my body to swell and have a severe skin reaction so I decided to cut the swim short.
I got my hair cut, neck waxed and spent some time with mom while doing laundry. I had taken over my lunch items which she ended up cooking for me - so grateful for that as I was exhausted.
Not much else - another successful day sober so far and I plan to keep that going.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Mentally I am still in my 20s but my driverās license would say otherwise! 
You are not alone, recently I did the same thing. Time is a thief!
Day 364 AF
Back to work today after taking last week off. The time off was great, but I love being back on my routine. Missed my 5:30am gym crew so was great to see them today. Invitations for that competition are starting to go out this weekā¦it might be a long shot if we get in, but here is to hoping. 
Have been doing a lot of reflecting the past few days. I just canāt stop thinking about the past year and how far I have come.
@JazzyS Thank you. Just weird to think back to where I was a year ago and all that has changed. Trying to process it all. I used to think I couldnāt live life without alcohol and now I canāt imagine going back to drinking. I love the life I am creating and who I have become. Drunk Stef literally scares the shit out of me and I am good not letting her back out ever again. ODAAT.
Checking in
Rough day at work today. I donāt know what else to say, really. Thanks for those of you who keep this a safe space. Have a peaceful day.
Much love Madeline. Hope you are able to unwind and rest and have a pleasant ending to your day.
Thanks @JazzyS 
tomorrow is a new day, and it will be okay.
Salutations to all 
Checking in tonight with 20 months of sobriety (in a row) !! Today is my second full day out of jail and what a beauty it was. Somehow I managed to gain 30lbs eating the worst food you can imagine. Iāve never had a weight concern until now so Iām adding a nightly walk to my day which tonight, was such a pleasure. My job keeps me very busy so the weight should not be an issue for long. I learned a whole new level of gratitude and compassion in jail. I carried the message as best as I could and was horrified to see the drug abuse within prison walls. The Serenity Prayer was my go to when I got into conflict. Iām grateful to close that chapter and clean up a little of the wreckage. The consequences of my alcoholism put me behind bars, but I feel lucky to be sober and steadily becoming better person. I found a new hope in recovery. I hope everyone has a great tomorrow. Stay sober, stay vigilant and help another if you can. ODAAT 
Thank you for your reply. I definitely relate to your experience.
Im probably doing mental gymnastics and manipulating my own brain, but donāt feel it was a relapse because it was a conscious and purposeful choice. I did plan to drink but with some rules in place. I know I would not have enjoyed the holiday as much if I hadnāt - the type of holiday it was and the circumstances. I know that I wouldnāt choose that if I was abstaining. It would be a waste of money and Iād be tired and miserable. I didnāt crash out in the way I have previously and although I did break some rules (!) I was mostly well behaved
It isnāt likely to be a recurring situation. In fact I talked with my partner this morning about the idea we wonāt go on a holiday like that again - because of our age mainly 
Whilst Iād love to reduce and moderate - I canāt. I simply cannot do that. One is too many and a million isnāt enough. Iām also on a lots of meds that donāt interact well with alcohol, they can cope with one or two glasses, but anymore and things start to go downhill fast.
I do think the experience was worth it because it was a learning experience. Confirming some things and raising others. I donāt feel ashamed (as I have previously) I just want to restart the clock and try to work on it every day.
Itās Day 4 and Iām feeling positive. I have no desire to pick up and I think the trip has helped to solidify that feeling a little more.
2593
I donāt think Iāll ever fully lose it. Anxiety is the main feeling I tried to get away from by drinking, by smoking weed, by using any substance available to me. It was a road to nowhere and it only made my anxiety much much worse. Which took me 40 years to find out.
Sobriety and working my personal re/discovery made me feel and live again, feel and live beyond that crippling anxiety. I learned many ways to deal with it and make it smaller. Sometimes it still raises its ugly head. Iām glad substances are no longer an option for me.
Never again. Going forward one day at a time, also when itās still tough sometimes. Purpose. Intent. Persistence. Small steps forward, sometimes steps backwards too. Itās life. Letās make today as good a day as I possibly can. Sober and clean of course. I hope you will all join me in that. Much love from my commute.
That looks like a special treat! Enjoy!
Iād like to ask you to keep coffee related posts to the coffee thread, though. For some of us, coffee is an addictive substance, and seeing or reading about it could be a trigger.
Thank you 
442 days sober. Letās stay clean and sober next 24 hours! 
what? Bougie coffee of course! 
