Good morning friends, day 249. At the office this morning for another one. Have a great day.
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Day 14
Hope everyone is good. I had one of the friendâs i said I wasnât gonna talk to reach out to me Friday night and to be honest it was a bit of a shock. I wasnât rude or anything to her and I just told her I canât be around anyone who drinks and I am keeping it that was. I also said to her if she wanted to do something sober reach out. I know it wonât happen and thatâs not really a lose to me. I worked all weekend but not long shifts so I had to to sleep and relax. Back to the full time shifts for during the week.
I am starting to see people only wanna spend time with me when its convenient for them and I am not having that bull. If you canât see my worth and what I bring to this world you can go shove it. Thatâs how I feel and its warranted. I would rather be alone with peace then deal with loads of drama and chaos.
I went to recovery church for the second time last night and it was really good. I donât really like the religious aspect but I take what I can to slowly move forward and heal. I got out of my comfort zone as I am afraid to go places alone. I donât talk to anyone because I am shy. Hopefully I will gain confidence at some point. Hope everyone has an amazing day/night 
stay sober
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Day 1611
1 week abstinence from food
Day started off a bit slow. Was a little cranky to my husband 
But i decided to turn the day around. I just finished doing my morning prayer & readings and will soon get ready to run errands with my son. He has an eye appt for a new prescription and then we have to go to the grocery store and to the post office to mail a gift to my mom for her birthday next week.
Ive reached 1 week of complete abstinence from food. Feels AMAZING!! Im learning to listen to my body more and give it what it needs. Its strange territory for me. When it comes to drugs, i ignored my needs for sooooo many years that learning to listen to my body, is unfamiliar. So at 4+ years clean, Im just starting to slowly get the hang of it.
I almost caved yesterday and gave into a compulsive food behaviour, but i thought about resetting my timer and i wasnt having that lol So pushed thru. Sooo thankful I did!
Not much else to report right now. The day is young ans i have a lot to do. So have a great Monday everyone!!!
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Love your post!!! Huge congratulations on 2 weeks sober!!! And great job stabding ur ground and speaking ur truth. Ur doing amazing! 
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Thank you. Its a forever journey I aam willing to take as I know i am better off sobsr. Iun many ways.
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Day 3
Trying to sort out everything after travelling is so tiring. Jet lag absolutely gut punches you.
Some musings about my two week absence in a post today here.
Iâm not calling it a relapse because I donât feel thatâs the right word. But I am resetting my counter.
Have a great day everyone 
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1109
I hade a huge âwtf brain?!â moment today. I wasnât sure if Iâm 41 or 42 so wanted to do quick math but then I wasnât sure if we have year 2025 or 2026⊠Luckily it was only in my head, no witnesses. Well, except you. Donât tell anyone, itâs embarrassing.
Other than that, all good.
Much love 
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I question my age often too lol its okay girl 
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Checking in
Not in the best mood tbh, Iâm frustrated with this sobriety thing. Itâs like an obsession in my head and I canât seem to make things right. When I check in, I feel stupid for putting my private life on a tray to literally anyone that has access to the internet. When I donât check-in, I miss it. When I drink, I want to stop. When I donât drink, I feel like Iâm missing out (specially in summer, living in a holiday destination where booze is literally all over)
I guess Iâm just ranting (apologies for that), my goal was and still is 100% sobriety.
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Yep, happens to me too. Iâm also in my early 40s! Perhaps because it doesnât matter so much
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It is possible for two opposite things to be true simultaneously. That is an idea that Iâve just learned in the last year or two, and then accepting the truth of it took a little longer.
Hang in there, it does get better, and with working to build up your sobriety, at some point you will realize that the obsession has lifted. Thatâs what happened to me at about 6 months sober - I realized one day that it had been two or three days since I had thoughts about drinking. What a relief that was!
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And it all happened cause I wanted to tell someone how old is my husband. I donât know how old is he but I know heâs 6 years younger than me. But then I wasnât sure how old am I 
Then I didnât know what year it is⊠It was just getting more and more complicated
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I guess people donât really care, today at the pool my friend ordered her beer, and I ordered my coffee with ice cubes. No pushing, no insisting I should order something else. Thatâs what I mean when I say it sometimes feels like an obsession 
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If youâve learned this in the past year or two, I have a looooong way to go. Thank you for taking the time to reply, your input is always appreciated 
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Checkin in after a long day. I hope that my sleep gets better, the last night ended way too early.
Grateful I am addiction free, today and for many days.
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Checking in on day 144 sober. No desire for alcohol though I did eat some sweets after dinner like a child 
I can live with eating some sweets and hitting the sack sober.
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I thought I am the only one who is sometimes not sure about that.
Itâs so weird when someone asks and youâre like âöhmmmâ⊠Let me check
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I finally went back to NA meeting, Iâm proud of myself. Got my 9 month & 1year chip. Iâm thankful to Higher Power, Family, and I give ST Community the biggest Thank you too. I appreciate this community so much.
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Day 1115. Work last week was awful. Fresh week fresh start
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A-562 C-506 THC-288 N-224
I was talking to my mom about how the âhonor systemâ is basically non-existent anymore and why that changed over the years. Despite the depressing idea that society is loosing faith and trust in itself, I did think of a positive.
I recently saw at my dentist, which is in the same building as a service that helps new parents get financial assistance, there is a vending machine that is completely free. It dispenses Narcan (Naloxone) and firearm locks. I immediately grabbed 3 boxes of Narcan to put in the cars my family and my sisters family owns in case of an emergency situation seen around town. I saw it a while ago and thought it was a great idea, then recently I went back for a routine cleaning and saw that it was almost empty.
As someone who has had friends and a family member die due to drug overdose it had me thinking good/bad thoughts. Good thoughts because people are taking advantage of a free service that could save someoneâs life that might not be saved if it were not free. Bad thoughts because the visual reminder that there are so many people struggling with drug addiction. Not just here, but everywhere.
The firearm locks are also a great way to prevent tragedies, as the statistics about unintentional gun deaths are horrific, especially when it comes to children.
All this to say that I am glad services like that exist, and that I do think itâs a step in the right direction. Itâs just sad they are necessary in the first place. Check your local state (US based) health department for the availability of free Narcan as it could be free in your area, or through insurance.
Iâm grateful for homemade cherry pie, for rechargeable batteries, and for desire to stay sober.
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