Man, do I know these internal struggles. I am still stumbling to include it into my day. But it has helped me to start each day with the 11th step. I’ll say a prayer to prepare myself to listen and ask for the things I should make a priority in the coming day. Then I sit quietly for 10 minutes in meditation. It’s almost certainly not a Joan of Arc-esque crusade for justice that arrives. It’s things like, walk the dog, do that yoga, start that thing at work you’re avoiding, call your sponsor, make that amends, etc. Is it all coming from conscious contact with the God of my understanding? The scientist in me says no. But I do believe that these longings are my Higher Power’s longings for me. I probably won’t answer those big questions about the direction of my life and who I am. But I’ll write the things down and get to work. If I go forward with the faith that making these changes I’ll get a little closer to understanding who I am and where I’m supposed to be as I develop that contact with my HP.
I relate so much with you, I kind of hold a resement against my mother right now bc she told me if I wanted to kill myself then to get a 12 pack go in the woods and do it. She hasn’t apologized for it. But I made amend with myself about it, I have put her through alot. And right now I live with her so I kind of have to abide by her, but she is very much the same. If things don’t go her way she will get mad and stay mad for days, I’m trying to patch the things up so that once I do get out of the house we can have a healthy relationship. But yeah it’s truly hard, and I am grateful for everything she does do for me bc she does still do alot, with taking me places and helping me out with things. With time things will get better. I pray things will get better for you and your mother as well. But, everything you did seems perfectly right to me I would of done the same
Thanks Mike! And @ifs! And again, @aircircle! I sincerely appreciate all of the support.
I feel for you buddy. I suppose it’s a little like pointing out the water to a blind horse. Smacking it on the ass to get it to go and then feeling surprised when I get kicked in the face. These people are sick, I can’t help them unless they want it. It’s a program for those that want it, not those who need it.
Checking in…Day 4! 
28 days 18 hours 38 minutes, been very tired today…yoga-ed out. …finger joints really really ache , specially around thumbs…seem to remember from sobering up before that the body tells me the real issues…not numb anymore.
@Chrispl, I am not unfit, go gym every day, various classes, which all use different muscle sets, this one hit less used muscles. I am still alive anyway 
sorry to read @BobIsGone there is always something to test us grrrh. I am getting into debt whilst I a sober as not working, but praying that my daily job hunt will turn something up soon. Good to see you in right head space
Day 59? Wow! The 50’s have been rather pleasant. Did yoga Monday, yoga Tuesday plus ran 2 miles… and swimming laps today. Getting my house ready to Airbnb!! This is my 3rd time getting it ready without amphetamines. Something I used to think was impossible!! Proud of myself and very happy today.
You might be right. Shouldn’t sobriety be about filling your life with other more useful stuff? Replacing being under the influence with meaningful and fulfilling activities? The purpose of being sober is not being sober in itself right. It’s about getting ahead in life. We have to move on. Forward without forgetting why we became drunks and druggies in the first place. Not going back but also not standing still. Progress has to be made. otherwise it’s no use. Just as long as you stay sober. Returning to using is no option.
That’s my point.
Day 59, will I make it to 60? Tune in next episode to find out
Day 1 and some hours. Checking in. Good night TS people.
Checking in, day 206 
sorting out some difficult things at the min. Couldn’t survive this stuff if I wasn’t sober. Keeping on keeping on guys x
Wow, my jaw dropped reading this. I don’t have any great words of wisdom, but I think you’re doing everything right for your recovery. She’ll come around in time, if it’s even meant to be. It hurts me to see how she reacted, but it’s still new with not much time to adjust to changes. Give it some time. From here, it seems like you’re doing a great job on your recovery. Keep that up, it’s inspiring 
Checking in mid day lol realized I am on day 6 today and not day 5 like I previously thought. Amazed at how time flies when in recovery. Needed some rest today. Have not done much at all. Just trying to slow down and listen to what my body needs… rest and self care.
Checking in. 2 whole days.
I had a long day … 04:45 the alarm went off and 05:25 I was on my way to work. then the misery started … work for which normally 2 days are calculated, had to be finished in 1 day. Extra work on the delivery date, it had to be ready. All day I worked and thought in the highest gear. I arrived home at 6:30 PM. quickly ate something, quickly showered, quickly to a meeting … when the meeting was over I talked with fellows for a while. when I finally came home again I have been calling with my sponsor for another hour. And now my head is full … all those suggestions, heard a lot of shares with recognition. And now I’m over my sleep … can’t sleep. the whole day goes through my mind while I try to sleep. Cravings to a downer are very high now. when I’m done with my post I will do a mindfulness exercise (body scan). the time is now 00:25 
04:45 the alarm goes off again… 1 night of poor sleep is always better than waking up with a hangover 
tomorrow evening I am going to relax …
@anon60334405 Congratulations on your milestone of 1 month sobriety!! 
Wish you all a sober and clean day!
Thanks Beth, you too @anon79808082! It’s tough realizing that our parents aren’t superhuman. I am not holding my breath, I might suffocate if I did. I can let it go though.
