alcohol, decided 3 hours in a pub yesterday without alcohol meant I’m cured so I should start drinking again today. Only the mind of an addict.
That’s twice I’ve read that today.
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Yep, our addict minds will continue to f**k with us and we’ll never escape it. Dust yourself off and get back on it. You know the drill. Remember…all that time is not lost, just a small pause in this long journey.
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Thank you! That helps a lot in itself… I’m home now and going to do nothing to try to recharge.
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Thank you Lisa 
I’m doing that now
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Happy to see you back! Awesome that you’re getting back to the RD meeting too. Sending you strength 
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Wish I could practice what I preach.
I’m not beating myself up about it like in the past my mind knows what to do next and I’m not fearing wanting to carry on tommorow. Day 1 and counting, already excited about double digits 
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Some dark thoughts recently on my mind. First time since I cut off meds. Gonna talk it with therapist next thuesday.
Stay strong guys! 
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I’m feeling lost. And like what’s the point. I don’t mean with sobriety or life. I want both. I guess I’m just in limbo and unsure of myself. I’m questioning who I am and if it’s just been a facade.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dog and your morning with her… That sounds really hard 
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Congratulations! Quick question how did you get sober time to display your days? Mine only displays my sobriety date.
At the bottom of the app is an edit option where you can change the display to days.
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Go to “Edit” and change it to your preferred display time.
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Day 224 - Second check in. Today has been so busy my feet are killing me and everytime I make contact with a quality applicant I can’t turn them down. I want to go home and eat and relax and snuggle up in my PJ’s so bad but I’m finding it hard to turn down the opportunities.
This is honestly insane. I’m beginning to develop the type of work ethic I’ve always wanted but was too depressed to ever maintain. I literally listen to Dave Ramsay on a loop and am obsessed with increasing my income, meeting my sales goals at work, to pay down debt and increase my savings and net worth. Things I used to just talk about and be an impostor about I am actually being. I want financial freedom and independence so bad I can feel, touch, taste and smell it. Ambition is one of those things I’ve always had but always tiptoed around based on a fear of failure or maybe even success. I say all of this to say that … none of this is possible without my sobriety. This feels so good to pay all my Bill’s on time, my mortgage in time, my car note on time all with the goal of paying some of that off in advance to reduce my monthly living expenses! If I were drinking daily until I blacked out like I was doing 225 or 226 odd days ago, I wouldn’t be manifesting my dream behaviors, and sticking to my dream diet, and being the 1st one in and last one out, maintaining a 700+ credit score. Etc… I live for the day now and not for the weekend. It feels great.
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I constantly remind myself that I might have another bender in me, but not another quit. We can never know if that first drink will be the one that kicks off the terminal bender.
This is why I have chosen to be a non-drinker. I won’t drink because I don’t drink.
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Day 18 sober. Exhausted.
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thank you 
Wow! Shay I love this post so much 
I really needed to hear these inspiring words right now. It’s scary trying to live up to a potential you know you’re capable of… But it feels so good at least trying! I know financial goals can be a slippery slope of always wanting more…at one point I honestly thought to myself “if I just owned 3 properties my mom would respect me and see my potential and love me more” 
I have 2 right now and it feels good to have achieved a goal but nothing’s changed with those I crave approval from. Which was a hard reality to face but I needed to see it to let go of living someone else’s idea of life vs creating my life the way I want it.
Anyways! I’m just so proud of you and your post. Thank you so much for sharing your motivation with us today
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Just home from a12 hour workday, usually I would race for the liquor store and have my first drink before my boots were even off. 15 days sober now and I don’t feel that need too much, but I’m sure there will be overwhelming days. Anyway, another successful day to report, peace everybody and have a great sober weekend 
.
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no point hiding, it’s done now and I can’t change it, next time I’m in the same situation I will know better, it’s a slow learning curve but each time I’m a little bit wiser, I’m a lot more sober than I am drunk in the last 6 months.
Just makes it hard to give others advice now bc you’ll just think bullshit he couldn’t do it.
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IMO, I think you’re in an even better place to give advice.
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You’re very welcome Lea! I’m definitely chasing after what I want and not what I believe would validate me to others. For so long I worked minimally, was lazy and did the bare minimum to get my most basic expenses covered. Most of which were never paid on time because I spent so much on booze and then eating out and offering to cover other people’s drinks because it made me look like “I had it”. I had imposter syndrome for a long time where I would act like a big shot but realistically I was secretly depressed and my boyfriend carried alot of my irresponsibility. If it weren’t for him I’d have gotten evicted, my phone bill was always paid on a payment plan a week or 2 after due, I paid my car note within the grace period, hardly ever by the actual due date. Lol … I only paid my insurance on time because it was autopay. I was just floating and blowing where the wind led me. I was always down to be distracted with an invitation to go out for drinks to spend money I didn’t have. I maybe averaged $800 to $1200 a month in income simply because I was chasing a buzz and not focused on building a life and a future.
So, just rebuilding and getting my shit together in only 7 months is wicked empowering and nothing is more satisfying to me than knowing I can rely on myself and that I am capable and I actually believe in myself today. It’s not just an affirmation that I say outloud but can’t connect with. Thank you so much responding to this and I’m so happy you could connect with my message. 
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