what a night, what a day. fear anger self loathing agression on me. I wanted to tear the place apart, and that on my birthday. But… i pulled myself togehter, ate to much suger, made amends with my dog, had a good walk and managed to enjoy the sunshine. An other moment of rock bottem to remind me how slipping can ruin everything, eventhough it seems the best option ever some days. So today I do not drink, do not sell my dog and go to bed with gratitude and peace
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Wow!!! Amazing job!!! 
I love hearing things like this!! I too finally feel like I can connect with strangers, I am no longer hiding something or feeling like a fraud. Feels good!
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Seriously, exactly the same. It’s crazy that the alcohol was making me hide when I was sober through the day at work, the anxiety, and feeling like people were judging me and dwelling on conversations I had with ppl, and worrying about what I was going to say. It’s seriously all gone, I don’t think or feel like that at all anymore. I’m finally being me, exactly what you said. I don’t feel like a fraud anymore. It’s crazy what alcohol makes us believe when it has us in it’s grip
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I feel like I have no outlet today. I am in such a state of frustration and anger. I want it to go away because I’m taking it out on my kids and I hate myself for it. I have a lot of things I need to get done. And my kids feel extra needy. That in itself makes me feel even worse. I should be so grateful to have my kids. And I am. But I have a massive lump in my throat and tension in my chest, and anxiety in my blood. I can’t shake this. I don’t want to drink but I desperately want to escape. I am having a rough time and I can see why people in AA might do better during these moments, because they have IRL people they can speak to when things feel too overwhelming. This isn’t me asking for help, I just really needed to vent.
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Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. I wish I was closer so I could give you a break to recharge 
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32 …wow,
…kinda pleased with myself, definitely had thoughts of drinking when I was finishing work,just thoughts…cos I was hungry probably. Home,cup of tea, pyjamas on .tired!. Can’t wait for bed.busy day it twas.
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Day 228. Up early, did some thrift store runs, hit the store, and meal prep is done. Ready to relax!
Wore my new Fleetwood Mac shirt today. Totally not officially sanctioned by the band. Got a few “looks”…
Have a strong day!!!
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I’m sorry your having a hard time Lea. Maybe lock yourself in your bedroom for few mins and do some deep breathing. Hang in there. I know we cant be there with you IRL but know we’re here for you. Sending you hugs. 
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Day 7…checking in friends😊
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I’m celebrating day 95
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It’s ok to need help mate, and to ask for it. What’s the frustration? 
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You don’t need the story just the facts. DAY 0.
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Sat with the dog while she had an episode (possible stroke) this morning. Pretty horrible but I knew what to expect a bit more so that helped. And she wanted a game of fetch straight after, she just melts my heart.
This week has been weird. Despite the shit with Lady and some annoying work stuff, I am feeling better. That’s how it goes with mental health I guess, doesn’t have to be a reason.
Had a good CBT session on Friday and I am being referred to counselling to give me some “time and space” to work through the identity crisis I’ve been trying to get my head around for the last year or so.
Sometimes I feel like this stuff isn’t sobriety related but actually it all comes from that decision to stop drinking. It doesn’t all just fall into place and it takes time.
Patience, acceptance…
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2 days 4 hours! I feel positive. Heading out to an event so I grabbed my water bottle, and left my ID behind so I wouldn’t be able to buy a drink. This is the first time people are going to be drinking around me. Fingers crossed I won’t be too tempted. I’ve also stuck to a health program all week now where I have been counting calories and monitoring sleep. Boy is it incredibly eye opening to see that half my daily calories were coming from alcohol and soda/mixers. Wish me luck tonight!
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no nor did I TBH. I really must learn to be miserable bc as soon as I’m in a good place my brain tells me it’s OK to have one. Start again tommorow. My Mrs won’t let me have anymore now she got proper serious on me so that’s that for today.
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Well your ahead of me now.
What happened Paul? Alcohol or weed? Never mind the stupid questions. You’re still here and that’s all that matters. I still love you so you carry on friend.
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