Thank you 
At the end of the day itās my dumb ass that allows it and I need to work on that. The people pleaser and wanting to be liked so badly causes me to make not the most well thought out decisions. Being back here helps a lot.
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Hurry back!!! I guess I could say I totally understand. Weāll miss you terribly until you came back.
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Hope all is okay!!!
Whew, close one. Glad you put it back!! You can sooo do this 
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With people like you to get me through the next few days, yes very likely. Thank you. 
ā¦ you realise the paws are gonna be a thing now donāt you 
.
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172 days. Iām supposed to go to court tomorrow bc I missed my IRDC class that was ordered as a result of my DUI but my attorney is trying to get it adjourned till next week. He wonāt be around tomorrow and I just wanna get it over with. I guess itās better since Iāll have a letter by then as proof that I rescheduled. The anxiety of not knowing the consequences is getting to me. Iām going to an AA meeting now, hopefully that helps.
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Take care of yourself Claudia! Lots of stuff going on in your neck of the woods. Hope youāll be back here soon. Hugs.
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Checking in at 125 days alcohol free.
Had a very unusual weekend, sharing the benefits of sobriety to a friend, who is struggling with addiction. Iām hoping it was helpful for them but for me, it was another āpinch meā moment.
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Oh, itās so our thing
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I donāt think what u or any of us is going through is this. It is true that sometimes we have to make hard decisions or do difficult things to make things better, and that feels overwhelming sometimes. But i think u can and are doing it.
@beaniebun Congrats! I am a nervous flyer and always think I did something to take the edge of. Other than chanting āsafest form of travel, safest form of travelā
@Hopeful777 I also only apply for jobs I am over-qualified for. It is a trait of many women, not just people who have lost self-esteem. Many men apply for jobs when they only fit 70% of the requirements. This is my colleagueās research area! Go for it!
@Here.I.am Living far from family can be a great source of guilt. Remember we all have the right to make choices to follow happiness.
@Dolse71 Stay strong!
@SoberWalker Do what u gotta do and come back soon!
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Just a quick pupdate - took Lady to the vets this morning. Seems like itās most likely to be a neurological/ spinal issue, basically she doesnāt understand where her back legs are. The weird episodes sheās having might be where sheās freaking out a bit, but itās hard to say. Weāre going to try her with some hydrotherapy and see if that helps. She probably wonāt recover 100% and will have to take it easy for a while, but for now she seems happy enough.
Thank you all so much for your kindness and concern, it means a lot 
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Day 79
Got a big but also trivial (?) But also also connects to a lot of mental stuff challenge today. Basically I didnāt pass my driving test until a few years ago. I didnāt take lessons when a student, then moved to Japan, where u HAVE to pass ur test by going to a school, all in Japanese. I spent 10 years wanting to try, then giving up, because my husband was dead against it, too expensive, too difficult for me. Which ties into me being too passive, too blaming of others when they control me. I finally took lessons and passed first time, but then husband was dead against me using the car, again too difficult for me, too dangerous. I only drive very occasionally, when good weather, short distances and he has to park. Well the challenge today is my friend with cancer wants me to drive her to the energy healer she feels is her last hope. I couldnāt sleep last night I was so worried. I hate that my husband has made me so paranoid about something everybody does. I look at all the people driving and think how he thinks I am less competent than them. And I especially hate my part in allowing him to do it to me.
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Day 34 done,
. zzzz 
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I donāt know what to say other than I wish I could give you a big hug and your hubs a swift kick in the rear. Iām sure it comes from a good place, but I canāt stand being held back by other peopleās ideas of what I may it may not be capable of. Just tell us we canāt do something. Challenge accepted!
You CAN drive your friend. Youāre capable and your friend needs you. Youāll being doing something good for yourself as well as your friend
I love me some energy healers by the way.
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Day 4
I keep thinking about it so I gotta occupy myself +++!
So I started an online course and spent 3hrs on it this morning. And when I looked up, I had to go to my appointment and grab my kids! It was awesome. Disnāt see the time pass fly.
It felt good.
And it felt real.
Have a good sober evening everyone!
K.
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You ARE capable of driving @Misokatsu . Donāt let anyone hold you back including your husband. You go ahead and take your friend to that healer and have confidence when you get behind the wheel. You CAN do it. Youāll be so proud of yourself for helping your friend.
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Hey guys day 64 check in. Today hasnt been easy. Sooo much caffiene and it just isnt working. I am tired. Had a great 3 day streak of happiness and a fight with my fiance this morning sent me in a downward spiral. I DESPISE him. I wont bore you with details but he is the worst. I heard my mind saying its okay to fail and drink myself into oblivion, everyone here will forgive me and take me back in with open arms no big deal and blah blah blahā¦ tricky tricky mind of mine! I am not listening. Staying strong. Tomorrow is a new day.
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Day 0 what a mess I did!!!
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