Maybe start by being active here.
I lived on here when i started the path…and I still come here every day. With the exception of about a month and a half…i have been here for 1780 days sobers.
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At this point… Anything 
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Do you really want to be sober? It’s a fair question to ask yourself. If so what are you willing to do to support your sobriety?
A lot of people desire the idea of sobriety or just want an easy eay out of the negative consequences that addiction has caused for them.
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This is probably THE best… Most helpful comment anyone has ever left me… I am going to screenshot this and remember what you’ve said are u by chance a sponsor? I need one badly
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Yea I’m not the best at communicating
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What have you tried to do to gain sobriety apart from just not drinking? Cos that’s really not going to be enough.
Here are a lot of resources that others have used: Resources for our recovery
Pick a few. Follow through. Give it your best.
If nothing changes, nothing changes. That means that you have to start making changes.
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THANKS so much
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Im really glad it helped 
Definitly keep coming back to this forum and being active on here. It really does help!!!
But as for being a sponsor… i honestly dont know if i have it in me to sponsor just, just yet. Even though I have done the steps many years ago, i ended up going back out after that and now could honestly really be due to do another set of steps. I am almost at a year clean but still have a lot of work to do the best thing i can suggest tho is 12 step meetings in ur area where u can find a woman that is close by and has the time and done the work to be where they are in their recovery. Someone that can take u thru the steps etc if thats what ur looking for. Other than that we are all here to help on this forum 
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I surely suffered trying to ‘figure sobriety out’ for decades. I was on the hamster wheel of quit and start over and and over, never being able to find ‘the key’. I feel like now, all those starts and stops helped me gain a little strength, all those sobriety and quit lit books I read increased my knowledge a bit, all the websites and forums and apps added to my resources, and yes, writing out and reading ‘my list’ every damn time I thought ‘maybe just one, I am so stressed…’ It all added up I think. Finding what worked, what really worked for me. Reading what worked for others. Being super engaged on forums and websites (for others, for you, it may be meetings). Getting outside for a walk, bike or run. Doing yoga, listening to meditations, journaling constantly, eating sweets, putting myself to bed early, finding new hobbies. We do what we do.
No, it wasn’t easy or fast. It was a long ass freaking slog with stops and starts for years and years. Never give up, never surrender. 
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Let us know what you’ve tried in the past, maybe what your DOC is, and there are many who might be able to add some more specific resources based on what you are dealing with. So glad you are here.
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OMG….anyone who actually finds it easy to stop and never pick up again we’re never addicted. We’ve all struggled. Very few people get it the first try (though it does happen). I relapsed countless times for 2 years but I can proudly say I’m now 4 years sober. It is possible.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
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And while this question seems harsh it IS a valid question. Because I can honestly say that the two years that I kept relapsing it was because I didn’t really want it. I was holding onto the romantic ideas of drinking….enjoying life, laughing with friends, being social, being cool. It was only when I finally admitted to myself that none of that was true and that falling asleep on the couch at 7pm while watching tv then waking up at 2 am cursing myself for doing it again, was the least romantic thing in the world. Alcohol was poison and it was going to kill me, physically and emotionally. Only when I realized that did I finally WANT to be sober.
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Thank you I appreciate it
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Hey, i feel ya…neither was I. It was one of the things i had to learn to get sober. This is a great place to practice
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Hey there, I’m sorry that you’re struggling. So, talk to us…in these times when you have decided to get sober: what are you doing to stay sober? Once you lay out what you’ve been doing, maybe we can help suggest another path forward❤️
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Well idk I’m so busy with my kids and work all I can do really is jus stay sober everyday 
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Staying sober every day is something that doesn’t just happen. You have to put in the work every single day. You’ve been given a plethora of really good suggestions on this thread. Which ones are you willing to actually follow through with?
Also, we all understand that life exists, but if you are not able to put your recovery first you will surely lose all of those things you are prioritizing.
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A lot of us said that. I get it. The first step, stay sober today. Second step: get active here. Being active here will open up a whole new viewpoint…a sober viewpoint.
Its a place to turn when the day is crap, its a place to turn when you need to vent. In short, we are here to help.
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@Butterflymoonwoman WELL said. Just from your post, I can see you “get” the work it takes to stay sober. That afternoon urge is no joke. I just started chairing a meeting. My home group meets every day of the week. I chair once a week at 5:30 and our meeting is called the Happy Hour group. Reaching out to the sick and suffering is what keeps me sober. I attend 3 meetings a week plus Zoom meetings.
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You’re not alone - I struggled with quitting for a long time. I’d quit for a few days at a time. Sometimes, I would make it a week or two. One time I got really serious and relied on will power alone; I made it 2 months. What I was doing just wasn’t working, it was time to do something different.
So, what I did was I started to look at alcohol through a different lens. I started to see how I was using it and what the real outcome was because of it.
By seeing how I was using alcohol to “manage” my life, I came to the conclusion that I was not able to manage my life at all. I began to make small changes. I came to this forum everyday; I’d come here when I woke up, I’d come here before bed. I shared my wins, my losses, my pains and my frustrations. I found that I was not alone, there were many people just like you and me trying to find our way. We helped one another, created bonds and friendships.
There’s no difference between you and everyone else, we’re all trying to be sober, one day at a time.
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