Person 1: I hope this doesn’t offend anyone,
Me: No worries, who am i kidding i don’t care
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Feeling guilty and awful right now. I realize I messed up so badly with my sobriety last night. 
I was thinking I’d be fine at a rave/bar since I’ve been away from my DOC for a while. I don’t know how I thought so stupidly about going to somewhere like that. I guess I felt too much FOMO when my friends invited me, but as the others said FOMO is a lie. I feel like such a fucking failure and loser right now. I didn’t use my DOC last night at least, but still it was bad enough that it reset my sobriety to day #1…
Honestly, the guilt and shame I feel right now is kinda making me think like: “why don’t I relapse on my DOC? I fucked up so bad already, why not make it even worse? Not like I give a shit about myself right now.” But I’m trying not to think this way.
It’s just difficult trying to navigate the sober mindset, but I’m really trying to understand my flaws now and figure it out. 
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Bro, stop beating yourself up man. You messed up like we all do. You’re honest and upfront about it.
Learn and move forward. Like relapse, beating your self up over it will not help you at all.
Just learn and move forward man. Stop writing and start reading. Find out what is going on in your head and make the steps to correct it.
You didn’t hurt anyone other than your own pride. It’s all good man. I didn’t give advice to pound you down, but I hoped it would wake you to what you want to do…
As an add on, stop thinking of this like your own personal flaw, it’s a disease bud, no different than others. You have to work to get healthy is all.
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Okok thanks homie. Okay I’m gonna just put this guilt and shame behind me. All I can do is move forward, and realize that I CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT be in a party environment. As my therapist says: “we cannot change the past, you can only learn from the past and move forward” 
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That shit can FRO for sure. It took me a looong time to really understand the difference between the voice of addiction vs the “real “ me, whoever the hell that even is! There is a saying that goes something like …
…” between stimulus and response there is a space. Within that space lies the opportunity for growth” .
So that voice in your head that says it’s cool to go into tempting situations cuz you can just be strong, or says you might as well go ahead and go all the way, or it says you’re a failure? That wolf, that voice, can FRO!
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The way I am currently behaving, aka. dry-drunk-me can FRO.
Seriously, what is it with that guy? 
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This dipwad who parked his Vespa in the loading zone this morning. I guess some folks think the words “LOADING ZONE” mean the same thing as “FREE PARKING”. (sigh…) 
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An almost month long headache!
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The weather, though we would finally have some spring after this weekend. But nope this afternoon gave us what my 12 y/o called “angry snow” (Hail) and now the weather forecast says it’s going to turn to only a few degrees + again, possibly some - degrees, and snow. All the way into May.
I think I’ll just start to plan my Emigration 
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PMS, hormones, periods, I can watch myself getting into an emotional meltdown. I hate this so much 
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Id just like to lean in a bit here and say i think your doing just fine…this sobriety malarkey is hard and i for one found it extremely hard in the early days…it works for some but im not one for tough love much now but i defo wasnt ready for it at the start…i think sometimes we can forget how vulnerable people can feel this early on…your learning as you go along dear friend so be gentle with yourself…show yourself some compassion and make sure you give yourself plenty self care ok 
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Realy going crazy around day 21 here 
All this destructive shit!
I can’t learn to handle it.
Over 25 years ongoing, still can’t.
FRO women blahhh
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Let it out sister! Let it out.
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Congrats on 3 weeks tho girl!
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Thank you grl 
Sobriety is day 76 even, 11 weeks soon.
21 is about ‘that cycle’ lol…
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Today can fro! At least it’s over 
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Oh wow that’s great! 
really happy to read that!
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Goddamn there is the most fucked shit that I really wish I could vent about here, but I literally can’t even hint at it!!! It’s so unbelievably fucked up!!!
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Headaches and tinnitus can f@@@ right off as they both get me down and tinitus makes me sound like a deaf old man, constantly missing bits of conversation… Ffs. I need subtitles everywhere
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It’s a good place to get something of your chest 
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