Grown adults at work telling me they are running to the bathroom and will be back. This isn’t prison and you don’t need to account for every clocked in minute. Just go! Why do I have to be privy to your bathroom habits?
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No pun intended, right? 
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A similar thing happened to my wife and I years ago. Someone hacked into our debit card and bought a butt load of perfume from Italy.
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Very much intended! I almost put a winky face emoji but that took away from the seriousness of my ire. 
I’m glad you caught that.
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That was brilliantly executed. 
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Why thank you, it just popped right in there. I have the pun abilities of my dear old Dad and it shows. Nobody likes a shitty pun. 
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No one asked but I will drop this here for your reading pleasure. I bought a friend of mine a gift certificate to a bra store for her birthday because she is a Mom and doesn’t spend money on herself but deserves a good bra. It cane with this note. If you can decipher my scrawl there are a few good puns in here. This is how my brain works:
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If this is wildly inappropriate please flag or delete.
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Geeeez, no way to flag it, this is hillarious!!! 
You’ve got talent 
And I as a non English native speaker understand the puns 
That made my evening, best bedtime story!
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No flagging! Far too much fun
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Ha, ha…well done. 
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Grocery prices can F right off !!!
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BRAvo!
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This is funny, bc where I work you basically have to let everyone know when you’ll be in the bathroom. That way nobody wanders aimlessly looking for you if you’re needed. It’s something I probably shouldn’t be as used to as I am 
And in response to your birthday bra letter…you are a damn good friend! 
Just today I realized I closed the drawer on my last 2 good bras and bent the underwires! I tried bending them back but they’re not the same 
The price of bras can FRO!!!
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COVID can fro.
A coworker who is positive since the weekend gave me this “gift”. I don’t blame her, this 
everywhere.
So, round 2 now 
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Wahhhhhh… Sending healing wishes
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As I mentioned above, my PayPal was hacked. This morning I wake up to an email stating
“We have completed our review and have determined there was no unauthorized use of your account. The transactions are consistent with your history.” Case closed
WTF?! I opened the account in April, my ex paid me $40, I transferred it to my bank account, and haven’t used it since! How TF does that show consistentcy of randomly purchasing Apple Services at 1am from a new device I’ve never logged in with?! Why would I immediately log in with my actual phone and block payments?! Or initiate a dispute in the first place! Do they think I enjoy spending my time like this?! Paypal can FRO!
On a positive note, I’ve began a dispute with Apple, and even though I’ve never had an Apple account, their customer service was impeccable 
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Get well soon!
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And oh boy, yes, I have more to share 
My Dr doesn’t want you to go there when you have something contagious like flu or Covid, so I called them to get a sick note.
The medical assistant that spoke to me went completely flabbergasted “YOU STILL TEST? Tests are still sold? You know that you don’t have to test right? It’s like any other cold”
My face lost its control and I got speechless.
Ugh 
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BRUSH FIRES 
!!
The air is horrible from all the smoke. My eyes are burning and I’m starting to get a headache.
Not diggin’ this at all.
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