I had this conversation at a meeting yesterday. I was abused as a child on many levels and had to run away 11 times, got my name on the local radio and in the local newspaper and at no point did anyone ask me WHY. Eventually I was put with voluntary Foster parents and finally when that failed ended up in care homes, which I also escaped from and ended up in another police hunt, they never found me and the home told my sister they didn’t want me back. So I ended up homeless by the age of 16.
But and this is the point, for 48 years I believed that no higher power existed, who would do this to me, no one was watching out for that little, alone boy. Yesterday I realised that through all of this, no matter how dark it got, that little boy found the strength and courage to remove himself from all of those situations. To walk at midnight looking for places to sleep, getting lifts off strangers in the middle of the country at 2 in the morning. I survived everything, just like you something is watching over us bc here we both are sitting on this app with wonderful people and we still have the strength, the power to make a better version of ourself.when no one has given us reason or example to love ourself, We still know what we are worth. 
~Grace has brought me safe this far and Grace will lead me home~ 
The 
ain’t running me out of MY home… 
Not today… I saw him coming… Not tomorrow neither because I’m not gonna let it bring me down like it did last round… That’s them, not me… 
Even if I do HATE that for them… I can only change me…
Wonderful strong souls helping eachother find the light again
No I don’t think it’s normal at all but just maybe you are doing so well that it makes them have to stop and take at good look at themselves… You are doing so well that they are actually uncomfortable in their actions… At least that’s what I’ve learned in MY situation… Don’t let it break YOUR spirit… My best defender is love and laughter… I’m not gonna publicly say online how I’m handling my current rage on this matter (from a sin free plan I developed yesterday) but it’s safe and takes care of a few problems that benefit us both here at my house so far today… I’m gonna apply this same effort every time that he starts bitching… If this doesn’t work he can go to the shed until he wants to talk about it… 
I’m not joining misery company anymore… He’s gonna have to come back to the sunny side… 
You’re welcome (meaning I hope you at least smile)… 
I’m built to smile, my defense mechanism is laughter. if I ever took something serious it would be the end of me. I’ve just had another death occur in the last 10 mins, that’s 2 in 3 days. Yet somehow my twisted little save yourself mind has already made a joke about it. Really could drink though. My HP won’t let me.
Stay in track, put yourself first, don’t be afraid to say no
Sorry about your loss… I’m notorious at making jokes at the wrong time… I do the same on that… I had to sit here at my kitchen table today with a few friends that we’ve known since high school… One I know I could have got a hit from the second my husband turned his back… When I have to have to sit and know that these people (my friends and family) aren’t gonna make it is what drives me right straight to it… If that doesn’t their withdrawal behavior (alcohol in this case ) makes It almost impossible… It leaves me with no choice but to build stronger if can not control my own environment… I’m the kind of person that laughs in fear knowing I’m up 
creek too… Gotta be a safer way than drinking or anything else that I shouldn’t do in my case…
decided to reach out to person number 3 to see if he would be interested in being my sponsor, he’s in hospital being treated for a stroke… I’m beginning to feel like the grim reaper.
This over sharing problem that I have tho… 
If I go to the bathroom and discover that I have a tail and horns I’m out… What a #### day!!! Hello walls…
morning, well it is my end. You little devil. Find peace today my sober vigilante
don’t know where my sense of humour is, don’t know where my positivity has gone. Trying to stay in the now, actually trying every trick in the book but sometimes you gotta allow your mind to do what it’s got to do. All this staying calm blah blah blah is OK in the right time and place but I also don’t think it’s too healthy to repress your emotions all the time. Its OK to be sad, it’s OK to be angry, its OK to be afraid and uncertain. The trick is not hiding from yourself it’s knowing yourself and accepting you for what you are. Alcohol not included… 
99 %of the time this app and community is amazing but then I read something that winds me up and actually becomes a trigger, my mind will find any excuse to drink and that other 1% may be when I’m already at my lowest and feeling vulnerable. Yes I know this says more about me as an individual than the actual cause of the problem but still could do without it sometimes.
life’s full of problems that now are just challenges, don’t have to win them all and they don’t all have to be just one person’s responsibility. Sometimes its wise to stand and act dumb and let someone else have to take over for a change. The world wasn’t built for your inconvenience.
Stay calm don’t panic, don’t always presume the worst and deal with every situation as it occurs. Life is not the problem. I am.
I’ve lost a lot of friends and even some family on Social Media for not giving enough DETAILS when I get upset and vent… I merely expect the entire world to know that “from where I’m sitting at” is almost ALWAYS at home dealing with very similar issues that come through my door with background music… I had no idea how bad that looked until I reread my word’s… 🤦 It’s unfortunate that those thing’s sound very similar to where I’m posting at (which is most times in an angry music post somewhere in the world taken out in metal making me look like I’m heartless)… I’m not, I was just irritated with some relatives who were drinking for giving me about my past, making fun of me for taking my child to church and making no efforts in their lives, nobody here… 
My mind is confused often… I’m not sure if that’s how other’s took me or not but I did want to give an explanation… Hope your day is well… I follow you and many who roll with you because I KNOW you folks are GREAT!!! I also now know we share more similar struggles… Have a blessed, not stressed Friday…
I love the smell of success in the morning.
OMG, famous last words.
As some of you are aware I had a drink today, OK I can deal with that but it’s 1am in the morning and I’m waiting for my Mrs to fall asleep so I can finish what is in her glass, this is alcoholism at its finest, 126 days and within the space of a few hours I’m desperate for left overs. That’s terrible really. What’s worse her glass may well be empty and I’ll be gutted. How did I ever become like this, a pathetic excuse for a man. Don’t get me wrong I’m not feeling sorry for myself but I am being very watchful of who I am and what I’m doing. Addiction is one crazy way of living, being controlled like a puppet on a string. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad. Well done all you sober warriors, don’t for one minute envy me my drink, its disgusting what I have become today especially when my Mrs told me to stop, I got proper stroppy and wanted to cry when I thought I couldn’t have another so I played the silver tongue with the guilt card to get my own way, very sly and cunning is the addict.
Don’t do it.
Sorry to read this @Dolse71… wish i had words of wisdom to support you through this difficult patch so horrible the way our minds work with alcohol. You did it before you CAN do it again. Can you draw on your experience of what got you in the positive mindset before? 100% wish you all good thoughts to get through today sober. I would get alcohol out of house. I have been struggling this weekend its awful as been so pinky cloudy thingybob. But practically prisoned myself in home this weekend. Take care keep strong.
Dam addict mind, I thought oh I’ll just have a bad day and pick up where I left off but turns out it’s not that simple bc I’ve already been walking around the shops thinking how to have a secret drink, picking up screw top wine and AF lager to hide the smell, getting all pissed off bc it’s my life and I should be allowed to drink what I want, I’m not a bloody child. I put it all back on the shelf even the AF stuff but this isn’t just back to day one or two this is all the way back to the beginning of recovery.
Please don’t ever have that one that you think will be OK and then stop again, it’s not as simple as you think it is. Day one really is that original day one.