This is all bullshit this waking up every day hoping not to drink, its all to exhausting, I’m doing yet another thing that might or might not work but I know the outcome bc it’s always the same. I will quit it will be hard for a few days then I’ll begin to feel all spiritual and start preaching advice to people like I’ve got 20 years of sobriety behind me. I’ll get productive in some area of my life or have other plans that I never fulfill. Then when I’m finally OK about not drinking I’ll wake up one day in a really good mood feeling all positive about life and how could I possibly be any happier, oh yeah!! I know how, I’ll just have a couple of drinks now I know I can quit when I want.
Turns out I’ve never actually quit alcohol, I’ve had some long and short spells of sobriety but that’s not quitting that’s just delaying the inevitable if I don’t stop.
I stop drinking to be happy but when I’m happy it makes me drink and this is the biggest problem I have that I can never beat. Why get sober if in reality I’m never going to be allowed to be happy.
Thats the point where we make the choice.
Yes, sometimes I have the slightest thought that it would be nice to get wasted, but I’ve made the choice to not drink. So I don’t.
That’s the part you have to get past. The bit where you start telling yourself that it’s going to be ok to drink.
You just turn round and shout no. Because from past experience you know it’s not worth it.
Oh Paul I wish I could help you … your here and your trying I admire you so much for never giving up. I believe in u I know you can do this . We’re all here for you . Your not alone on this journey x
Yeah and I don’t know how, it gets me every single time. This time I woke up all good with another 10 days of sobriety so I treated myself to a day out to the coast having a lovely walk without a care in the world, it made me feel so good I went home and got drunk. Its all fucked up, I can’t even enjoy being sober it’s too scary.
Well it feels like it now bc nothing and no one can keep me sober for long. its all down to me and praying but praying doesn’t always work either so it is just me.
You are in a routine of staying attached to alcohol as your positive outcome… This then derails you back to the beginning of said routine…
What can you actually say has changed for you?
I ask this question because you need to put a new input into your routine to break the cycle towards alcohol… You are fixated at a point where you can’t see past that glass of alcohol… Your mindset is drawing you back to comforts that only YOU can change.
We can all stay in that mindset of rewarding ourselves with the booze but with that you’ve achieved What??
Happiness can come in so many ways, yet you choose to only see your happiness through a glass of alcohol,
Hey I got through the day, I feel so good, that one drink is Fine… Your not even trying to change your thought process… Wait No I don’t need alcohol how about a nice long walk to end my day…
You need to find your anchor that will keep you continuing the route of recovery without the comfort of booze.
My mind tells me I need my poison to get through the day, so I chucked said poison and put in place a glass of water… I’m slowly changing how I view things.
But this is where I can’t see what the problem is.
Yes, back before I seriously started working on my sobriety by getting this app or going to AA or whatever other positive actions I’ve taken, I used to say to myself that I wouldn’t buy anything the next day, yet still found myself driving into the garage to buy, even if I was telling myself on the actual drive that I would not buy any, I still did.
But since actually actively working to get sober, I’ve found out the reasons why I kept making the same mistakes and changed it around.
I would physically stop myself from turning off to the garage. I made sure I didn’t need to stop anywhere on my commute.
If I did, I had to mentally restrain myself from buying.
A constant battle in my head. Over and over telling myself that I don’t need it.
It was fucking painful at times.
You can do it Paul. I have faith in you.
Paul,my feelings are that you haven’t fully surrendered to the fact you can’t drink like a normal person,I see alot of self sabotage in what you do,you work really hard to get to a balanced place emotionally physically and spiritually and then your like wow this is going so well I know IL go have a drink test the water see if now I can handle it but in your heart you know what will happen .I respect your level of getting back up and trying and trying but there has to come a time where the sabotage,the it’s ok it’s only a 4 pack mentality ends and you become ready to go FUCK IT I KNOW I CANT DRINK SO IM GONA THROW ALL THOSE PRESSURES AWAY AND GIVE MYSELF THE BREAK I DESERVE.Yove fought a good fight now throw in the towel and let it go give it up.love and respect you your courage and strength to carry on .
My mind is saying
“Fight! You give up now then you are done. She has gone and its your fault but own it. Now you know you ain’t meant to have someone to spend those intimate times with and had to learn the hard way as usual. At least she will be happy and you will be eventually.”
When I come on here I come here for inspiration and to share in the success of some wonderful people but sometimes I pop on and have to sieve through how shit peoples lives are at the moment and find this counter productive at times (if I wanted to be miserable I would spend more time with the Mrs ) In the spirit of recovery I am interested in the living life on life’s terms so once I have read your experience share with me your solution, what action can we take to get out of our low points, also remember it’s OK to feel sad some days. Nobody will be running at 110% every day changing the world and have all the answers to life’s problems. A couple of low days does not depression make.
Me telling you how crap my day is does not help you but me telling you the action I took to find a solution to my crap day may with the grace of God help one person.
Hi Paul,
I think there is a mixture of emotions expressed on here, including in the gratitude thread. This is also a safe place for people to vent and reach out. Personally, I like to guide people to possible solutions and make suggestions as do most other people here. Sometime it helps someone to know that others listen and understand them. You will find a lot of wisdom and experience here if you look for it, as people try to help each other. I hope that perhaps if you find the right threads and read the helpful suggestions people make to each other, you might see things with new eyes and get a lot out of this site. Best wishes
in the past when I had a week sober or 6 weeks sober I used to feel and think like I had all the answers to sobriety, I used to think that mine was the one true higher power and no one else actually got it. I also knew 100 % I would never drink again and with all this knowledge I had earnt the right to preach to others from my all powerful high and mighty pedestal.
Then I would pick up again.
Over 9 months now and I realise I’m a small fish in a big pond, I know just enough to stay sober on a good day bc a challenge will come along at some point and then well see what I’ve learnt. The difference now is I have faith and gratitude, not always on the same day but when I lack in one I lean more on the other. I also don’t think I’m superior in anyway shape or form and that preaching like a broken record is not preaching at all bc everyday many new people need to hear what we all know to be true through our own experiences, forums like this would not exist if we all got sober and disappeared to live our own selfish life. God bless each and every one of you.
ready to go FUCK IT I KNOW I CANT DRINK SO IM GONA THROW ALL THOSE PRESSURES AWAY AND GIVE MYSELF THE BREAK I DESERVE.Yove fought a good fight now throw in the towel and let it go give it up.love and respect you your courage and strength to carry on .
) In the spirit of recovery I am interested in the living life on life’s terms so once I have read your experience share with me your solution, what action can we take to get out of our low points, also remember it’s OK to feel sad some days. Nobody will be running at 110% every day changing the world and have all the answers to life’s problems. A couple of low days does not depression make.
