I just realised I forgot to check in on day 7. Reasonā¦I got caught up in other things just as bad for me if not worse. Dont wanna elaborate too much but Iām realizing the desperation I have to just not have to sit with uncomfortable feelings.
So checking in on Day 8. Today was long, and tough. But i am still happy it disnt end in drugs. The temptation is realā¦but I know this will be worth it. It may feel helpless but feelings cant always be trusted, like when I feel like I need drugs to cope. So yay to another sober day!
I couldnt donāt alone so thank you everyone for all the help this far. I am so grateful!!! Youāll all (including everyone from other threads) be in my prayers tonight. Much love sober soldiers!!
I follow your journey I feel your pains and strengths, I pray for you and believe in you. You sound similar to me in so many ways,. But thatās the addict in us all. Please keep strong please love yourself.
Is anyone working through sobriety and in a wheelchair or struggle to deal with chronic diseases in the mist of it?
Voices are so loud today. Telling me look at you. You really fucked up good. Worried about everyone else and now look. Spending so much $ on cabs and trying to get to places. Places I need to get to. Angry because why canāt I get a break? Thinking if I bought something I wonāt feel or hear those intrusions for the entire day - feeling sorry for myself and in self hatred.
I am grateful I am not in a wheelchair. I couldnt imagine it. But I struggle with some chronic physical pain and I totally understand what itās like to be completely consumed with frustration and have no way of escaping your own failing body and mind. One thing I can relate to is that craving for a moments silence when things are already difficult enough. But I can say this, that most of the time the voices are only louder afterwards, only with more ammunition to make me feel horrible. Itās difficult. This sucks! IT SUUUUUUUCKS!!! Youāre not alone. And remember no matter how loud the voices get, youāre still the one that gets to make the choices on how you act. Feel your pain! In the gutters with you hun xo
Feeling arenāt facts.
You know what you want, thatās the fact.
You are doing great work getting to the end of each day sober.
Keep going Stacey.
And keep coming on here. Thatās exactly what we are here for.
Thank you. I know itās temporary but gosh itās hard. Taking cabs everywhere costs so much $$. Being so ā¦dependent. Not having the ability to be driven and accessibly.
Thanks @anon12657779. I try to remind myself of this as often as I can. But boy is it difficult. Sometimes my emotions feel more real than my thoughts or even my reality. But I know you are 100% right.
I wish you could too. Gosh a 30 min of unconditional nonjudgemental connection of physical contact. Seeking nothing and being a space and container. Sounds beautiful. Thank you.
I am so erked that next three days $ will be spent on cabs and travel. Yet I have to believe somehow everything will come together. I surrender. I didnāt cause it I canāt control it and I canāt cure it.
Iām livin the dream and lovin life, when I read your words I see a struggle that I was going through but 4 days I walked into a church for the first time, I found my inner god and have not struggled since, I donāt know how or why but all my stars are in perfect alignment right now and right now is all that matters, Iāve been dancing on my own round the living room to Spotify, who the fuck is this person. Reach out to me if you ever want to chat. I donāt have a cure but for you I do have time.
Hey if you wanna talk about it in private feel free to PM me instead. But here is okay too. I just wanted to ask about what happenedā¦if Iām allowed to.
If I could do GIFs on here i would reply with a GIFā¦a fluffy monkey hugging another fluffy monkeyā¦with beanies maybeā¦and one of them with the most content look ever
