Daily Reflections & Daily Readings

[MandiH]

August 26~Daily Reflections

GIVING IT AWAY

Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 159

Those words, for me, refer to a transference of power, through which God, as I understand Him, enters my life. Through prayer and meditation, I open channels, then I establish and improve my conscious contact with God. Through action I then receive the power I need to maintain my sobriety each day. By maintaining my spiritual condition, by giving away what has been so freely given to me, I am granted a daily reprieve.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 26~Language of Letting Go

Making Amends

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

—STEP NINE OF AL-ANON

When we make amends we need to be clear about what we’re apologizing for and the best way to say we’re sorry. What we are really doing with our amends is taking responsibility for our behavior. We need to be sure that the process itself will not be self-defeating or hurtful.

Sometimes, we need to directly apologize for a particular thing we have done or our part in a problem.

Other times, instead of saying “I’m sorry,” what we need to do is work on changing our behavior with a person.

There are times when bringing up what we have done and apologizing for it will make matters worse.

We need to trust timing, intuition, and guidance in this process of making amends. Once we become willing, we can let go and tackle our amends in a peaceful, consistent, harmonious way. If nothing feels right or appropriate, if it feels as if what we are about to do will cause a crisis or havoc, we need to trust that feeling.

Attitude, honesty, openness, and willingness count here. In peace and harmony, we can strive to clear up our relationships.

We deserve to be at peace with ourselves and others.

Today, I will be open to making any amends I need to make with people. I will wait for Divine Guidance in the process of making any amends that are not clear to me. I will act, when led. God, help me let go of my fear about facing people and taking responsibility for my behaviors. Help me know I am not diminishing my self-esteem by doing this; I am improving it.

[MandiH]

August 26~Keep It Simple

THINK —Alcoholics Anonymous slogan

Now that we’re recovering, our minds are free. We can think.

When we are faced with problems or
choices, we can do this: Ask, “What is the problem?”

Make a list of what we can do to work on the problem.

Decide which of the actions on our list might work.

Pick the action that seems the best so far.

Ask ourselves, “Can I do it? Will I do it? If not, it’s not a good plan.

Talk to our sponsor if we need help thinking it out.

Do it.

Look back on it. Did it work? If not, go back and try something else.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to think well. Help me to see things clearly.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll use the points listed above to help me think about a choice I have to
make.

[MandiH]

August 26~NA Just For Today

Tenth Step Inventory

“We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” ~Step Ten

A daily Tenth Step keeps us on a sound spiritual footing. While each member asks different questions, some questions have been found to be helpful to almost everyone.

Two key Tenth Step questions are, “Am I honestly in touch with myself, my actions, and my motives? And have I prayed for God’s will for
me and the power to carry it out?”

These two questions, answered honestly, will lead us into a more thorough look at our day.

When focusing on our relationships with others, we may ask, “Have I harmed anyone today, either
directly or indirectly? Do I need to make amends to anyone as a result of my actions today?”

We keep it simple in our inventory if we remember to ask, “Where was I wrong? How can I do it better next time?”

NA members often find that their inventories include other important questions. “Was I good to myself
today? Did I do something for someone else and expect nothing in return? Have I reaffirmed my faith in a loving Higher Power?”

Step Ten is a maintenance step of the NA program. The Tenth Step helps us to continue living comfortably in recovery.

Just for today: I will remember to review my day. If I have harmed another, I will make amends. I will
think about how I can act differently.

[MandiH]

August 27~Daily Reflections

CENTERING OUR THOUGHTS

When World War II broke out, our A.A. dependence on a Higher Power had its first major test. A.A.'s entered the services and were scattered all over the world. Would they be able to take the discipline, stand up under fire, and endure . . . ?
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 200

I will center my thoughts on a Higher Power. I will surrender all to this power within me. I will become a soldier for this power, feeling the might of the spiritual army as it exists in my life today. I will allow a wave of spiritual union to connect me through my gratitude, obedience and discipline to this Higher Power. Let me allow this power to lead me through the orders of the day. May the steps I take today strengthen my words and deeds, may I know that the message I carry is mine to share, given freely by this power greater than myself.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 27~Language Of Letting Go

Procrastination

Procrastination—not acting when the time is right—is a self-defeating behavior. It produces anxiety, guilt, disharmony, and a nagging consciousness of the task that life is telling us it’s time to do.

We are not always procrastinating when we put off doing something. Sometimes, doing a thing before the time is right can be as self-defeating as waiting too long.

We can learn to discern the difference. Listen to yourself. Listen to the Universe. What is past due and creating anxiety and prodding within you?

Is there something in your life you are avoiding because you don’t want to face it? Is there a building anxiety from putting this off?

Sometimes anger, fear, or feeling helpless can motivate procrastination. Sometimes, procrastination has simply become habitual.

Trust and listen to yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe. Watch for signs and signals. If it is time to do something, do it now. If it is not yet time, wait until the time is right.

God, help me learn to be on time and in harmony with my life. Help me tune in to and trust Divine Timing and Order.

[MandiH]

August 26~Walk In Dry Places

Finding Our Real Selves

Building Self-esteem

Many of us sold ourselves short while we were drinking. We wanted approval and acceptance, but often felt unworthy of it, even accepting the unfavorable opinions others had toward us.

We resented such opinions, but secretly feared that our critics were right.

In the Twelve Step program, however, we discover a higher and better self that hadn’t found expression
during active drinking.

We no longer have to impress anybody, we no longer need applause, and we no longer crave the false camaraderie that passes for friendship among problem drinkers.

We can, in many ways, become new people.

When we experience such change and growth, we may come to wonder how we ever could have been so deluded by the sick self of our drinking years.

We feel relief when we realize that we no longer have to live and think that way… if we continue in the program and make sobriety our highest priority.

We will realize too that the self we find in sobriety is the real self… a person who was there all along but was crowded out and suppressed by the demands of our sick nature.

This real self is what we were created to be, and sobriety brought its discovery.

I’ll go about my affairs today knowing that my real self is what God wants me to be.

Being sober, I can now find answers and opportunities that were beyond my reach when I was still drinking.

[MandiH]

August 27~Keep It Simple

Things do not change, we do. —Henry David Thoreau

There are still as many bars as there were when we were drinking. There are still lots of drugs around.
The world hasn’t changed. What’s changed is that we now live a different way of life.

We’ve learned that, for us, alcohol and other drugs are poison.

For us, there are now two worlds: the world we left behind, and our new world of recovery.

In our old world, we’d try to get everyone else to change. We had the right.

In our new world, we look for ways we can change for the better. In our new life, we’re willing to change.

Prayer for the Day: I pray that I may be like a mighty river, always changing.

Action for the Day: I will list changes I need to make in my new life.

[MandiH]

August 28~Daily Reflections

LIGHTENING THE BURDEN

Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. . . . the dark past is . . . the key to life and happiness for others.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124

Since I have been sober, I have been healed of many pains: deceiving my partner, deserting my best friend, and spoiling my mother’s hopes for my life. In each case someone in the program told me of a similar problem, and I was able to share what happened to me. When my story was told, both of us got up with lighter hearts.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 28~Language Of Letting Go

Taking Care of Ourselves on the Job

It’s okay to take care of ourselves on the job. It is not only okay, it is necessary.

Taking care of ourselves on the job means we deal with feelings appropriately; we take responsibility for ourselves. We detach, when detachment is called for. We set boundaries, when we need to do that.

We negotiate conflicts; we try to separate our issues from the other person’s issues, and we don’t expect perfection from ourselves or others.

We let go of our need to control that which we cannot control. Instead, we strive for peace and manageability, owning our power to be who we are and to take care of ourselves.

We do not tolerate abuse, nor do we abuse or mistreat anyone else. We work at letting go of our fear and developing appropriate confidence. We try to learn from our mistakes, but we forgive ourselves when we make them.

We try to not set ourselves up by taking jobs that couldn’t possibly work out, or jobs that aren’t right for us. If we find ourselves in one of those circumstances, we address the issue responsibly.

We figure out what our responsibilities are, and we generally stick to those, unless another agreement is made. We leave room for great days, and not-so-great days.

We are gentle and loving with people whenever possible, but we are assertive and firm when that is called for. We accept our strengths and build on them. We accept our weaknesses and limitations, including the limitations of our power.

We strive to stop trying to control and change what is not our business to change. We focus on what is our responsibility and what we can change.

We set reasonable goals. We take ourselves into account. We strive for balance.

Sometimes, we give ourselves a good gripe session to let it all out, but we do that appropriately, in a way meant to take care of ourselves and release our feelings, not to sabotage ourselves. We strive to avoid malicious gossip and other self-defeating behaviors.

We avoid competition, strive for cooperation and a loving spirit. We understand that we may like some people we work with and dislike others, but strive to find harmony and balance with everyone. We do not deny how we feel about a certain person, but we strive to maintain good working relationships wherever possible.

When we don’t know, we say we don’t know. When we need help, we ask for it directly. When panic sets in, we address the panic as a separate issue and try not to let our work and behavior be controlled by panic.

We strive to take responsible care of ourselves by appropriately asking for what we need at work, while not neglecting ourselves.

If we are part of a team, we strive for healthy teamwork as an opportunity to learn how to work in cooperation with others.

If something gets or feels crazy, if we find ourselves working with a person who is addicted or has some kind of dysfunction that is troublesome, we do not make ourselves crazier by denying the problem. We accept it and strive in peace to figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

We let go of our need to be martyrs or rescuers at work. We know we do not have to stay in situations that make us miserable. Instead of sabotaging a system or ourselves, we plan a positive solution, understanding we need to take responsibility for ourselves along the way.

We remove ourselves as victims, and we work at believing we deserve the best. We practice acceptance, gratitude, and faith.

One day at a time, we strive to enjoy what is good, solve the problems that are ours to solve, and give the gift of ourselves at work.

Today, I will pay attention to what recovery behaviors I could practice that would improve my work life. I will take care of myself on the job. God, help me let go of my need to be victimized by work. Help me be open to all the good stuff that is available to me through work.

[MandiH]

August 28~Journey To The Heart

Make Yourself at Home

Once you accept yourself unconditionally, you’ll be surprised at how comfortable you begin to feel, no
matter where you are.

We may have tricked ourselves into thinking our security came from outside ourselves-- that we needed certain other people or places, needed certain objects or items around us, or had to live our lives in a particular way to feel secure.

But relying on things and people outside ourselves provides a false sense of security. False security will be shown for what it is.

There’s a real security, a true safety, available to us all, no matter who we are, where we are, or what
we’re doing. That security comes from accepting ourselves. That security comes from trusting ourselves, trusting our hearts, our wisdom, our connection to the Divine and to the universe around us.

Once we accept ourselves unconditionally, no matter where we are, it will feel like home.

[MandiH]

August 29~Daily Reflections

I CHOOSE ANONYMITY

We are sure that humility, expressed by anonymity, is the greatest safeguard that Alcoholics Anonymous can ever have.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 187

Since there are no rules in A.A. I place myself where I want to be, and so I choose anonymity. I want my God to use me, humbly, as one of His tools in this program. Sacrifice is the art of giving of myself freely, allowing humility to replace my ego. With sobriety, I suppress that urge to cry out to the world, “I am a member of A.A.” and I experience inner joy and peace. I let people see the changes in me and hope they will ask what happened to me. I place the principles of spirituality ahead of judging, fault-finding, and criticism. I want love and caring in my group, so I can grow.

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 29~Language Of Letting Go

Owning Our Energy

Learn to keep your energy inside.

—WOMEN, SEX, AND ADDICTION
BY CHARLOTTE DAVIS KASL, PH.D.

For many reasons, we may have mastered the art of giving away our energy. We may have learned it when we were young because the feelings we had were too overwhelming to feel, and we did not know how to process them.

Much of our obsessing, our intense focus on others, is done to facilitate this “out-of-body” experience we call codependency.

We obsess, we babble, we become anxious. We try to control, caretake, and fuss over others. Our energy spills out of us on to whomever.

Our energy is our energy. Our feelings, thoughts, issues, love, sexuality; our mental, physical, spiritual, sexual, creative, and emotional energy is ours.

We can learn to have healthy boundaries—healthy parameters—around ourselves and our energy. We can learn to keep our energy within ourselves and deal with our issues.

If we are trying to escape from our body, if our energy is spilling out of us in unhealthy ways, we can ask ourselves what is going on, what is hurting us, what we are avoiding, what we need to face, what we need to deal with.

Then, we can do that. We can come back home to live—in ourselves.

Today, I will keep my energy in my body. I will stay focused and within my boundaries. God, help me let go of my need to escape myself. Help me face my issues so I am comfortable living in my body.

[MandiH]

August 29~Keep It Simple

This day I choose to spend in perfect peace. — A Course in Miracles

Today, let’s be gentle and kind. Lets talk to ourselves with love and respect. Let’s be gentle with others
too.

Today, let’s be clear in how we think, speak, and act. And if we start to get mixed up, let’s stop thinking
and listen for our Higher Power’s voice.

Today, we know that we have just a small job to do. It is to live today with love in our heart. We can’t
take care of every problem in the world. But we make our actions today part of the answer instead of the part of the problem.

Let’s Keep It Simple.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me find Your calmness and peace in my heart today.

Action for the Day: Do I believe that peace starts with me? Today, I’ll listen to the simple voice of peace inside of me. And I’ll Keep It Simple.

[MandiH]

August 29~Each Day a New Beginning

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. --Helen Keller

The next 24 hours are guaranteed to excite us, to lift us to new levels of understanding, to move us into
situations with others where we can offer our unique contributions. All that is asked of us is a willingness
to trust that we will be given just what we need at each moment.

We can dare to live, fully, just for today. We can appreciate the extraordinariness of every breath we take, every challenge we encounter. Within each experience is the invitation for us to grow, to reach out to others in caring ways, to discover more fully the women we are capable of being. We must not let a single moment go by unnoticed.

When we withdraw from life, we stunt our growth. We need involvement with others, involvement that
perturbs us, humors us, even stresses us. We tap our internal resources only when we have been pushed to our limits, and our participation in life gifts us, daily, with that push. How necessary the push!

None of us will pass this way again. What we see and feel and say today are gone forever. We have so
much to regret when we let things slip away, unnoticed or unappreciated.

A special series of events has been planned for me today. I shall not miss it.

[MandiH]

August 29~Walk In Dry Places

Giving The Right Support

Carrying the Message

We’re surrounded by people who need help-financial and otherwise.

It is sometimes tempting to believe that we can and should reach out to improve the conditions of their
lives.

This is not always an easy thing to do, or even a right thing to do.

The early AA members who tried this finally decided to limit most of their help simply to carrying the Twelve Step message.

While this seemed callous, it was really the only practical approach to a difficult problem.

Many people are able to solve their own financial problems when they really understand and practice the twelve Step program. If they still need other assistance, it is then given and received in ways that work.

In any case, we should always seek guidance and direction from our Higher Power when considering or offering any kind of assistance. We’ll then know that any support we give will be the right kind.

I’ll be willing today to assist others in any way I can. I will not, however, take responsibility for running
their lives.

[MandiH]

August 30~Daily Reflections

THE ONLY REQUIREMENT . . .

“At one time . . . every A.A. group had many membership rules. Everybody was scared witless that something or somebody would capsize the boat. . . .The total list was a mile long. If all those rules had been in effect everywhere, nobody could have possibly joined A.A. at all, . . .”
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 139-40

I’m grateful that the Third Tradition only requires of me a desire to stop drinking. I had been breaking promises for years. In the Fellowship I didn’t have to make promises, I didn’t have to concentrate. It only required my attending one meeting, in a foggy condition, to know I was home. I didn’t have to pledge undying love. Here, strangers hugged me. “It gets better,” they said, and “One day at a time, you can do it.” They were no longer strangers, but caring friends. I ask God to help me to reach out to people desiring sobriety, and to, please, keep me grateful!

From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.

[MandiH]

August 30~Language of Letting Go

Accepting Our Best

We don’t have to do it any better than we can—ever.

Do our best for the moment, then let it go. If we have to redo it, we can do our best in another moment, later.

We can never do more or better than we are able to do at the moment. We punish ourselves and make ourselves feel crazy by expecting more than our reasonable best for now.

Striving for excellence is a positive quality.

Striving for perfection is self-defeating.

Did someone tell us or expect us to do or give or be more? Did someone always withhold approval?

There comes a time when we feel we have done our best. When that time comes, let it go.

There are days when our best is less than we hoped for. Let those times go too. Start over tomorrow. Work things through, until our best becomes better.

There is a time for constructive criticism, but if that’s all we give ourselves, we’ll give up.

Empowering and complimenting ourselves will not make us lazy. It will nurture us and enable us to give, do, and be our best.

Today, I will do my best, then let it go. God, help me stop criticizing myself so I can start appreciating how far I’ve come.

[MandiH]

August 30~Walk In Dry Places

THE MASKS ARE FALLING

Openness Individuals and families can be quite successful at masking personal problems and feelings.

This doesn’t always work very well with alcoholics, though some of us did manage to conceal our
problem for long periods before our lives began to break down.

However, it is becoming more acceptable to admit to such problems, and it is no longer surprising to read
that a prominent person is being treated for an addiction.

This new openness has also made it possible to abandon the masks we’ve been wearing to hide our
feelings. When people learn they can be more open with their problems and need for help, it also becomes easier to admit that they are angry. fearful. unhappy, or even frightened.

Removing our masks and letting others see us as we are is only the first phase in the real honesty we’re
seeking. After expressing ourselves authentically, do we find we like who we are?

Now that we know and admit the truth about ourselves, what are we going to do to make needed changes?

I will face who and what I really am today. I will use my strengths and not let any shortcomings keep me
from being effective.

[MandiH]

August 30~Keep It Simple

Love is something if you give away, you end up having more. — Malvina Reynolds

Service is how we give love away. It’s the “self” of self-help. Service is not a duty; a gift that’s been
given to us.

We help ourselves by helping others. It’s how we make sure the program will be here tomorrow.

We “carry the message.” It’s just one way we see how important we are to others. The world
needs us. The world needs our love.

Prayer for the Day: I pray for help in making service a big part of my program. Higher Power, help me to
“carry the message.”

Action for the Day: Which people could use a kind word and a little love? I will go visit them or give
them a call.