January 22
2 Likes
January 22~Melodie Beattie
Appreciating Our Past
It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving.
The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want.
Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too.
Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed.
Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.
Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.
3 Likes
January 23~Melody Beattie
New Energy Coming
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.
â BEYOND CODEPENDENCY
There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment.
There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things havenât worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past.
The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass.
Do not limit the future by the past!
Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Havenât there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Havenât you and your circumstances changed since then?
Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever.
We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience.
Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it.
A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something.
Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new.
Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me.
2 Likes
One for the wall⌠
2 Likes
January 24~Melodie Beattie
Clearing the Slate
One of the greatest gifts we can give is an open, loving heart. And holding on to negative feelings from past relationships is our greatest barrier to that gift.
Most of us have had relationships that have ended. When we examine these relationships, we need to clear the emotional slate. Are we holding on to anger or resentments? Are we still feeling victimized? Are we living with the self-defeating beliefs that may be attached to these relationshipsâWomen canât be trusted. . . . Bosses use people. . . . There is no such thing as a good relationship. . . .
Let go of all that may be blocking your relationships today. With great certainty we can know that old feelings and self-defeating beliefs will block us today from giving and getting the love we desire. We can clear the slate of the past. It begins with awareness, honesty, and openness. The process is complete when we reach a state of acceptance and peace toward all from our past.
Today, I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved.
2 Likes
January 25~Melodie Beattie
Step One
We admitted we were powerless over alcoholâthat our lives had become unmanageable.
â STEP ONE OF AL-ANON
There are many different versions of the First Step for recovering codependents. Some of us admit powerlessness over alcohol or anotherâs alcoholism. Some of us admit powerlessness over people; some over the impact of growing up in an alcoholic family.
One of the most significant words in the First Step is the word we. We come together because of a common problem, and, in the coming together, we find a common solution.
Through the fellowship of Twelve Step programs, many of us discover that although we may have felt alone in our pain, others have experienced a similar suffering. And now many are joining hands in a similar recovery.
We. A significant part of recovery. A shared experience. A shared strength, stronger for the sharing. A shared hopeâfor better lives and relationships.
Today, I will be grateful for the many people across the world who call themselves ârecovering codependents.â Help me know that each time one of us takes a step forward, we pull the entire group forward.
3 Likes
January 26~Melody Beattie
Off the Hook
We can learn not to get hooked into unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors in relationshipsâbehaviors such as caretaking, controlling, discounting ourselves, and believing lies.
We can learn to watch for and identify hooks, and choose not to allow ourselves to be hooked.
Often, people do things consciously or without thinking that pull us into a series of our self-defeating behaviors we call codependency. More often than not, these hooks can be almost deliberate, and the results predictable.
Someone may stand before us and hint or sigh about a problem, knowing or hoping that hint or sigh will hook us into taking care of him or her. That is manipulation.
When people stand around us and hint and sigh about something, then coyly say, âOh, never mind, thatâs not for you to worry about,â thatâs a game. We need to recognize it. Weâre about to get sucked in, if we allow that to happen.
We can learn to insist that people ask us directly for what they want and need.
What are the words, the signs, the looks, the hints, the cues that hook us into a predictable, and often self-defeating behavior?
What makes you feel sympathy? Guilt? Responsible for another?
Our strong point is that we care so much. Our weak point is that we often underestimate the people with whom weâre dealing. They know what theyâre doing. It is time we give up our naive assumption that people donât follow agendas of their own in their best interest, and not necessarily in ours.
We also want to check ourselves out. Do we give out hooks, looks, hints, hoping to hook another? We need to insist that we behave in a direct and honest manner with others, instead of expecting them to rescue us.
If someone wants something from us, insist that the person ask us directly for it. Require the same from ourselves. If someone baits the hook, we donât have to bite it.
Today, I will be aware of the hooks that snag me into the caretaking acts that leave me feeling victimized. I will ignore the hints, looks, and words that hook me, and wait for the directness and honesty I, and others, deserve.
2 Likes
This is so good. Will bookmark. Thanks 
January 27~Melody Beattie
Needing People
We can find the balance between needing people too much and not letting ourselves need anyone at all.
Many of us have unmet dependency needs lingering from the past. While we want others to fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally, we may have chosen people who cannot, or will not, be there for us. Some of us are so needy from not being loved that we drive people away by needing them too much.
Some of us go to the other extreme. We may have become used to people not being there for us, so we push them away. We fight off our feelings of neediness by becoming overly independent, not allowing ourselves to need anyone. Some of us wonât let people be there for us.
Either way, we are living out unfinished business. We deserve better. When we change, our circumstances will change.
If we are too needy, we respond to that by accepting the needy part of us. We let ourselves heal from the pain of past needs going unmet. We stop telling ourselves weâre unlovable because we havenât been loved the way we wanted and needed.
If we have shut off the part of us that needs people, we become willing to open up, be vulnerable, and let ourselves be loved. We let ourselves have needs.
We will get the love we need and desire when we begin to believe weâre lovable, and when we allow that to happen.
Today, I will strive for the balance between being too needy and not allowing myself to need people. I will let myself receive the love that is there for me.
1 Like
I do daily guided writings on my spiritual business page.
My higher power told me I needed to share this one here today also:
I heard something yesterday that I feel someone else needs to hear today. Itâs long, but worth the read for anyone whoâs really changing things in their life:
"Whenever you attempt to make a difference in yourself from a self-empowerment perspective, those around you will immediately be looking at their own reflection in your eyes as a deficiency. Itâs normal human behavior to compare. Be prepared to experience this as you grow.
The more you delve into yourself, the more you will create a shift in your energy that will be more noticeable to everyone around you. You will notice people start to pull away or even attack you for being different.
Others will reflect on what they are or are NOT doing in their own lives. Friends and family will either embrace and support the positive shifts in your life, or they will get angry at you for evolving and not being the person you once were.
Remain humble on your path, but know some of your connections will end. You will essentially outgrow those relationships. Itâs a natural pruning process so your garden can flourish.
You canât expect to grow to be an amazing flower if weeds are choking you from all around. Release those who can not support your growth, and soon you will be able to find others who are not threatened by your newfound strength and are inspired by it instead.
The universe will ultimately remove the people who are blocking your spiritual path and attempting to hinder your growth. It is that simple. Even though people may be removed from your life, space is then made for others who also share and appreciate lifeâs magic. Your path will be cleared to grow your garden."
Iâve found this to be absolutely true on my own journey. Stay true to who you are becoming my loves. You are worthy of the most BEAUTIFUL gardens! 
#life #lessons #grow #evolve #change #bloom #weeding #gardens #vibrational #alignment #spiritual #evolution #protection #awakening #energy #shift #heal #weeds #plucked #making #space #blossom love #soulhealingvibes444
4 Likes
January 28~Melodie Beattie
Staying in the Present Moment
Often, one of our biggest questions is âWhatâs going to happen?â We may ask this about our relationships, our career, our recovery, our life. It is easy to tangle ourselves up in worrisome thoughts.
Worrying about whatâs going to happen blocks us from functioning effectively today. It keeps us from doing our best now. It blocks us from learning and mastering todayâs lessons. Staying in the now, doing our best, and participating fully today are all we need to do to assure ourselves that whatâs going to happen tomorrow will be for the best.
Worrying about whatâs going to happen is a negative contribution to our future. Living in the here and now is ultimately the best thing we can do, not only for today, but for tomorrow. It helps our relationships, our career, our recovery and our life.
Things will work out, if we let them. If we must focus on the future other than to plan, all we need to do is affirm that it will be good.
I pray for faith that my future will be good if I live today well, and in peace. I will remember that staying in the present is the best thing I can do for my future. I will focus on whatâs happening now instead of whatâs going to happen tomorrow.
2 Likes
January 29~Melody Beattie
Going to Meetings
I am still amazed, after years of recovering, at how easily I can begin to talk myself out of attending meetings. I am also still amazed at how good I feel when I go.
â ANONYMOUS
We donât have to stay stuck in our misery and discomfort. An immediate option is available that will help us feel better: go to a meeting, a Twelve Step support group.
Why resist what can help us feel better? Why sit in our obsession or depression when attending a meetingâeven if that means an extra meetingâwould help us feel better?
Too busy?
There are 168 hours in each week. Taking 1 or 2 hours a week for a meeting can maximize the potential of the remaining 166 hours. If we get into our âcodependent stuff,â we can easily spend a majority of our waking hours obsessing, sitting and doing nothing, lying in bed and feeling depressed, or chasing after other peopleâs needs. Not taking those 2 hours for a meeting can cause us to waste the remaining hours.
Too tired?
There is nothing as invigorating as getting back on track. Going to a meeting can accomplish that.
Today, I will remember that going to meetings helps.
4 Likes