Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. Whether agnostic, atheist, or former believer, we can stand together on this Step.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33
I feel that A.A. is a God-inspired program and that God is at every A.A. meeting. I see, believe, and have come to know that A.A. works, because I have stayed sober today. I am turning my life over to A.A. and to God by going to an A.A. meeting. If God is in my heart and everyone elseâs, then I am a small part of a whole and I am not unique. If God is in my heart and He speaks to me through other people, then I must be a channel of God to other people. I should seek to do His will by living spiritual principles and my reward will be sanity and emotional sobriety.
Iâm really having to lean into trusting my higher power these days. Things are pretty wild and I have a LOT coming up within me. Itâs time to release some of my old stuff with steps 6&7 to be able to walk into the next version of me that my higher power is asking me to be, but man my old shit wants to hang on strong. In addition, thereâs a million other moving parts in my life that are kind of making it the perfect storm.
ButâŠthe ONE thing I know for sure is my higher power has my back in this. I need to face the discomfort to see more of the light. I need to feel it to heal it. So my sponsor has me looking more at these shadows and walking directly into them. I know I have a light beside me with my HP so I am going to step in and let that darkness become illuminated when itâs deemed to be the right time. More will always be revealed. But taking these action steps to truly DO this work is what changes life. That discomfort is temporary, and the rest of my life will thank me for it. I just need the faith and trust in my HP to keep taking steps forward today. And for that connection thatâs been harbored through this program, Iâm effing grateful.
True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33
My last drunk had landed me in the hospital, totally broken. It was then that I was able to see my past float in front of me. I realized that, through drinking, I had lived every nightmare I had ever had. My own self-will and obsession to drink had driven me into a dark pit of hallucinations, blackouts and despair. Finally beaten, I asked for Godâs help. His presence told me to believe. My obsession for alcohol was taken away and my paranoia has since been lifted. I am no longer afraid. I know my life is healthy and sane.
Even then, as we hew away, peace and joy may still elude us. Thatâs the place so many of us A.A. oldsters have come to. And itâs a hell of a spot, literally. How shall our unconsciousâfrom which so many of our fears, compulsions, and phony aspirations still streamâbe brought into line with what we actually believe, know, and want! How to convince our dumb, raging, and hidden âMr. Hydeâ becomes our main task.
THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 237
Regular attendance at meetings, serving and helping others is the recipe that many have tried and found to be successful. Whenever I stray from these basic principles, my old habits resurface and my old self also comes back with all its fears and defects. The ultimate goal of each A.A. member is permanent sobriety, achieved One Day at a Time.
Convincing Mr. HydeâŠin reading this what I think of is that I really didnât know the beast inside that ruled me. And I had to become truly willing to look at that to change it.
Doing the step work with my sponsor and book readings with others REALLY helped me to see myself and what makes me tick. I got to see myself in an entirely new light. And that place of bringing things into my conscious awareness instead of lying dormant in my subconscious, is exactly where I could bring REAL and lasting change. I had to go into the shadows and learn how to bring the light in to love myself there and be someone new.
I still get to do this today as more will always be revealed, but my life changes in a new way every single time I am willing to do this.
When I think I donât need this program or others, I begin to go back to my old ways rather quickly and I can feel the discomfort and dis-ease quite rapidly.
So today I will move myself closer to my recovery and HP instead of further away from it.
How often do we sit in AA meetings and hear the speaker declare, âBut I havenât yet got the spiritual angle.â Prior to this statement, he had described a miracle of transformation which had occurred in himânot only his release from alcohol, but a complete change in his whole attitude toward life and the living of it. It is apparent to nearly everyone else present that he has received a great gift; â. . . except that he doesnât seem to know it yet!â We well know that this questioning individual will tell us six months or a year hence that he has found faith in God.
THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 275
A spiritual experience can be the realization that a life which once seemed empty and devoid of meaning is now joyous and full. In my life today, daily prayer and meditation, coupled with living the Twelve Steps, has brought about an inner peace and feeling of belonging which was missing when I was drinking.
Todayâs daily reading didnât really sparked anything within me, so tonight I just opened and flipped to a ârandomâ section in Sermon On The Mount. This totally spoke to me!
âLet us be merciful in our mental judgements of our brother, for, in truth, we are all one, and the more deeply he seems to err, the more urgent the need is to help him with the right thought, and so make it easier for him to get free.â
I was literally just telling one of my reiki students this yesterday. Working this program and with my sponsor has shown me that when I judge and condem another person, I just add to their suffering. And, suffering they are. The ones who are sometimes the most unlovable are the ones who truly need it the most.
I want to be a safe space. Someone who uplifts others when they need it, not someone who kicks them when they are down. And when I judge someone or condemn them, thatâs precisely what Iâm doing.
Regardless of our own beliefs or the way we live our lives, we are all here to learn our own lessons. What works for me may not work for someone else. And for me I had to go down the wrong path to find the right one. We can have boundaries, absolutely. But at the end of the day, I firmly believe love & acceptance is always the right answer. Whatâs what this program has shown me.
When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isnât. What was our choice to be?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 53
Today my choice is God. He is everything. For this I am truly grateful. When I think I am running the show I am blocking God from my life. I pray I can remember this when I allow myself to get caught up into self. The most important thing is that today I am willing to grow along spiritual lines, and that God is everything. When I was trying to quit drinking on my own, it never worked; with God and A.A., it is working. This seems to be a simple thought for a complicated alcoholic.
I read that first line and said to myself, âhallelujahâ!! I donât want to run the show anymore. Anytime I take back the wheel, I can always feel that Iâm veering off track. I start my day every single morning asking my HP to guide me and I continue to do this until I go to bed at night. Iâm not perfect-I donât always want to do whatâs being asked of me. And then I do steps 6 & 7 on it with my sponsor, like I have been this past week. My character defects show themselves in layers and they arrive right on time for me to do the work around them. This allows me to live my life more in a way that my higher power is asking of me and man am I ever grateful for that. Itâs far better than I ever dreamed myself and itâs only just begun.
We asked ourselves why we had them [fears]. Wasnât it because self-reliance failed us?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 68
All of my character defects separate me from Godâs will. When I ignore my association with Him I face the world and my alcoholism alone and must depend on self-reliance. I have never found security and happiness through self-will and the only result is a life of fear and discontent. God provides the path back to Him and to His gift of serenity and comfort. First, however, I must be willing to acknowledge my fears and understand their source and power over me. I frequently ask God to help me understand how I separate myself from Him.
Ugh, I just had a TON of fears reveal themselves to me last night. My sponsor asked me to look at a few things this week, I have only been able to manage one because itâs BIG. Hahaha, literally, as it pertains to my weight that Iâve struggled with since I was 18 and got together with my sons father.
The amount of fears that remain inside of me are wild. But, I have tools today. I get to do an inventory on them. I get to talk about them with my sponsor. I get to ask for them to be released. I donât have to keep them once they are revealed, all because of this program. And I am effing grateful.
Selfishness â self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62
How amazing the revelation that the world, and everyone in it, can get along just fine with or without me. What a relief to know that people, places and things will be perfectly okay without my control and direction. And how wordlessly wonderful to come to believe that a power greater than me exists separate and apart from myself. I believe that the feeling of separation I experience between me and God will one day vanish. In the meantime, faith must serve as the pathway to the center of my life.
It was a BIG ego hit for me when I finally realized that life would go on without me. I thought I was SO important-doing all these things for everyoneâŠbut the reality is-when I stopped everything got better for everyone. I didnât NEED to be at the center of anything, I was actually making things WORSE for everyone around me by doing so.
Living my life with my higher power in charge instead of me has changed everything. What a beautiful quote-that separation will one day vanish. In the meantime, that faith in my HP and trying my best to keep myself out of the way continues to lead me to a new life, one day at a time.
To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.'s can say, âYes, we were like you â far too smart for our own good. . . . Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone.â
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60
Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I canât think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a Godgiven attribute that I may use, a joyâlike having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanityânot a high IQ or a college degree.
Ah yes, my old way of life! I thought that if I KNEW, that was the same as doing. Until I worked this program. Itâs not a program of just knowing, itâs a program of ACTION. Faith without works is dead.
My own brain was my worst enemy. Iâd rationalize, justify, and convince myself I knew what I was doingâŠha! Thatâs why my life was so damn messy. I had to DO something different. It wasnât enough to know. My âknowingâ was wrong anyway. It was my own will. And thatâs why it never worked.
I needed a higher power. I needed to get my ego out of the way and follow what worked for others who were able to stay sober the rest of their lives. I needed this program. This is where I finally received REAL change in my life. I had to take the actionsâŠPutting down the drink was never enough.
I am grateful for all of this today. For doing it wrong. And for others paving the way through this program of action to show me what was possible for me in my recovery too.
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98
Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at meetings. It isnât wrong to expect progress of myself, good things from life, or decent treatment from others. Where I get into trouble is when my expectations become demands. I will fall short of what I wish to be and situations will go in ways I do not like, because people will let me down sometimes. The only question is: âWhat am I going to do about it?â Wallow in self-pity or anger; retaliate and make a bad situation worse; or will I trust in Godâs power to bring blessings on the messes in which I find myself? Will I ask Him what I should be learning; do I keep on doing the right things I know how to do, no matter what; do I take time to share my faith and blessings with others?
For me, this is a great reminder on valentines day. Are my expectations making me resentful or changing who I am? Not this year! Iâm loving people around me with ZERO expectations or demands made on others. Iâm also not questioning my self worth or anything else. Iâm just full of love. And that, my friends, is some beautiful progress for me!
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us â sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p, 84
One of the most important things A.A. has given me, in addition to freedom from booze, is the ability to take âright action.â It says the promises will always materialize if I work for them. Fantasizing about them, debating them, preaching about them and faking them just wonât work. Iâll remain a miserable, rationalizing dry drunk. By taking action and working the Twelve Steps in all my affairs, Iâll have a life beyond my wildest dreams.
Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right action is the key to good living.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 125
There came a time in my program of recovery when the third stanza of the Serenity Prayer â âThe wisdom to know the differenceâ â became indelibly imprinted in my mind. From that time on, I had to face the ever-present knowledge that my every action, word and thought was within, or outside, the principles of the program. I could no longer hide behind self-rationalization, nor behind the insanity of my disease. The only course open to me, if I was to attain a joyous life for myself (and subsequently for those I love), was one in which I imposed on myself an effort of commitment, discipline, and responsibility.
Amen!!