Thank you very much for sharing your story. It is so important to not live in our emotions and fill the void with alcohol or other toxic remedies. I too have had several wake up calls that still didn’t wake me up. But I’m hoping this time with this awareness I can do better for myself.
This community is definitely helping and when I stray away I know I’m only doing a disservice to myself. The 12 step through church, I forget the exact title but we shall see how it goes, if anything I am at least getting connected with people who may give a shit about me.
I wish the same blessings for you as well 
I will keep connected on here, hopefully daily. That would be my goal.
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You can stay sober. If you stay sober it’ll get progressively easier. You’ll still have tough situations, but you won’t have to get intoxicated due to the situations. Your life will be better. Maybe you’ll gain serenity, peace, and happiness.
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Hey I’m glad that you figured out what was the trigger!!! Now that you know you can work on the healing process. There no magic number for how long it will take but eventually it will get better. Feel free to reach out whenever… one day at a time.
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I relapsed pretty bad this week. Tuesday night made some really terrible decisions. I’m very lucky I didn’t get in serious trouble. I also drank yesterday too. Embarrassed myself at a work event as well. I am happy that this week is almost over. I don’t forsee any other challenges in the near future. I am hoping I can get back on track and stick to being sober again. I hate the detox feeling, the hangovers, missing work, lying, self loathing… Ugh. Starting over again today. I want to quit so bad it has no benefit what so ever in my life!!! And I’m risking losing everything and for what!?
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Hey don’t be so hard on yourself, it happens. It’s not easy to stay sober. You may have to look into changing your work environment. Be around people that will encourage you on your journey.
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The self loathing is the worst. I am definitely my hardest critic
Checking in. Almost at day three again. I am extremely bitchy and feeling incredibly discouraged. I need to move out of my mother’s house. And I can’t afford housing here. It’s awful. I don’t make enough money. I am struggling here in this toxic and depressing house. Sidenote, all i can think of is step brothers lol “this house is a prison”. I feel like I have no control over my life lately. I feel so miserable and lost. I wish i could get my own place so I could have my privacy back. My sanity. I could have space to do yoga and meditation again. I take much better care of myself when I am on my own.
Then this all triggers wishing I never met my ex. I would have still had a home and maybe I would be happy since he destroyed me. Then I get angry at myself. UGHHHHHHHHH
what a shitty vicious cycle
I’m going to hopefully take a nap and maybe wake up in a better mood
At least I havent drank… so there’s that 🤦
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Don’t sell yourself short - this is a big deal! You’re sitting with your feelings and coming here to talk about them rather than drink at them. This is really good. Hope that nap helps, they usually help me!
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Hello! You can’t change the past but you can plan for a successful future. The space for thoughts in your head is precious, try to evict your ex from them. I had a toxic cheating ex and am having a troubled relationship with my mother too right now. Quitting drinking helped to stop my thought spiral about both those things. The most freeing part of my sobriety so far has been that my thoughts are my own. Not alcohol fueled, hardly ever depression fueled, and not from the anxiety of a hangover or a night forgotten. I also used to bartend and can’t imagine getting sober while I was doing so.
Make yourself your priority. Do sobriety for you. Do it for peace. I’m rooting for you.
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Thank you i have always struggled with my mental health and I know alcohol only enhanced my issues. I am proud of myself for recognizing these things. It’s been over a year for my whole ex crap but I can’t seem to just get over him and what he did yet. I know I will in time.
I’m trying to juggle everything right now. I think my biggest priority is not drinking. keep going to my church and life group on Wednesday
Then I am hoping I can get active again, start eating better too. My mom is away for the month of July so I’m looking forward to that time as well.
Thank you for your encouragement. Ps your kitty in your profile picture looks a lot like mine! Her name is Moo!
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Welcome to the party! I have faith in you. You were able to stop yourself after only two days, so you clearly want sobriety. This is a fantastic community and you can always share anything. We will help in any way we can. 
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My profile pic kitty is named Bird! I stole his name when I started this account because he was brought in feral and we had to teach him how to trust us. That is very apt for my sobriety journey as I’m learning how to trust myself and others again. It takes a lot of time thinking and a lot of practice saying no to start a new sober life. One day at a time is really the only way to take it. Keep cleaning house in your head. I’m happy you are here. 
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Yes I have a deep cleaning need for my head and my heart and also have tremendous trust issues too. I love that your kitty is helping with that. My kitty makes me happy when she snuggles me. I am happy that I am able to connect with people like you here
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This has been my number one sobriety tool. I’m just passed 4 months alcohol free today and it is due to the honesty, respect and kindness I have found here. Tonight I went out with 3 old bartending friends. We had an amazing dinner and when it came to the after party portion I had two N/A beers and dipped out after the first round of shots were ordered. In my drinking days I would still be out partying and would be MANY shots deep by now. They love me anyway and I think the N/As gave me a headache. 
Your brain is perfect it is just trying to trick you into staying down. It is much easier to process the past trauma of exes and life when you are out of the skip groove of the record. For me that was the removal of alcohol. My thoughts stopped cycling so much and I was free to process. I’m also kinder to my body and my mind. After my 5 hours of socialization tonight I came home to take a nap on the couch like an old woman, a happy, sober old woman blessed with old drinking memories that can fill the need for me to ever pick up again.
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Hey how are you doing today??
Hi there! Im doing ok today thank you for checking in on me. I have a very hectic busy and intense next couple of weeks of training. I’m nervous about how I will handle the stress of it all. I have to go through active shooter training… I’m trying to put myself in a mindset that I need to be the best version of myself so I can keep my kids and staff safe.
I did join my yoga studio again and hope I can discipline myself enough to go and take care of myself more.
I have a bit of a silver lining, July 6 my mom will be away for a month so I am hoping I can take that time to get myself back on track with better eating and self care practices. and I may have found an apartment in a good little town close to my yoga studio too. Its affordable too and tenant at will. 🤷See what happens. It’s hard to surrender and trust…
How are you doing?
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Fighting the urge to drink right now…
Almost at day 5. I NEED to stay sober, especially for work this week and next week 
I’m not sure what’s triggering this? I’ve been reading threads on here for the last hour.
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Podcasts and audiobooks really saved my ass in the beginning, maybe you would find them helpful too. Hang in there, it gets easier
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I should do podcasts. I have Spotify, should be able find some there?
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