It took me a half a dozen resets, I’m so glad you’re here, 
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I cannot recall a day that I used all my likes here and got loaded!
I’m so glad your here! 
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@DLS Thank you 
I was thinking about you recently, whilst reading through and hadn’t seen you post. But I forgot you username - then seen it in the you are missed and it’s lovely to see you here 
Thank you everyone so much for your support it really is helping me so much.
Today is my 39th birthday but I’m not celebrating that, my day2 is what il be celebrating with a nice meal.
Glad I am sober today.
Glad I’m feeling alot better as well.
Going to tidy around quickly then make X2 different meals to enjoy over the evening and funny enough that’s what I’m really looking forward too.
My mind set is still the person I was for the 879 days I lost, and I have to embrace that and grab it with everything I have and get back into that routine.
I’m so proud of everyone of us, I’m so grateful for you all. Honestly I think we all know how powerful being here together is and I’m so lucky to be part of the TS family.
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You are, girl, and you can do this 
! 
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You’re celebrating your birthday by being sober friend! Huge congrats on both! Makes me happy 
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I know the feeling, I’ve been there. Many of us have. Put your crown back on and rock that 
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Thank you all
I had a little stressfull moment, but just pushed on and tidied up then cooked some lasagnaz it’s just finishing off now.
I feel so much better for doing it all. Although I feel like I need to cry and be sad I’m just going to think it’s 8pm here and I can soon get into bed and il be sober that’s what matters.
Very tearful but not letting them take over.
I’m so glad I can see that these will just pass. Tomorrow may be easier it may not. But il be okay, because I know one of the upcoming days things will feel back into routine and schedule.
I think the anxiousness and low self esteem will improve over the next few weeks and il know il be feeling great again.
Thank you all so much 
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You are doing really great! I am immensely proud of you for sticking to the plan, for coming here, for being open and vulnerable 
! Happy birthday also. So glad you are part of this group 
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I am new too but not to all of this and there is no shame. Be strong. You are here now and present. X
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Welcome as you can see reading around the support is immense here m glad you found us
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That’s truly from the heart
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Hi everyone,
The sun’s out… I feel good… Except my brain is telling me it’s ok to go back to Day1 and if I drink slowly no one will know and just get out in the garden and do some bits and enjoy it.
I’m writing it out here exactly what my brain is my telling me
" You never really drank vodka before no one will know if you have a shot in a few drinks over the day "
When I relapsed about a month back, I didn’t reach out.
I also didn’t keep it a secret from my family, I was open about it. So this is like so many red flags of thinking it’s okay again, and then to sneak it. I wasn’t sneaking it before.
Hoping just writing it out with people who understand and get it, might help me not make a stupid decision.
The decision is mine and isn’t on any one else, I know that.
I just didn’t reach out before, so trying to something different this time.
Might put earphones in and listen to an online meeting while I move the garden furniture to start the catio during the week - due to weather I have to hold off as tomorrow is supposed to rain for few days. So just was going to prepare the garden area etc…
I’m sure I won’t drink today. But I was so sure before too.
So yh when I had many years sober I remember when I thought I was ok was when I was at my most vulnerable and I think I’m not recognising this. Or I’m ignoring all the warning signs my body’s telling me to not drink but I’m listening to my brain 
haven’t acted ok it but it’s loud and I’m listening and I’m worried.
Today is day 19
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Hey there 
YOU have spotted the fucking addiction lying to you. Great job! 
The voice of addiction is sneaky, cunning, persuasive and for the person having it in their mind sounds totally reasonable. It is not! It is telling lies. Always only lies. This is the first thing to be clear about. No matter what that voice is telling - either about you, or others, or whatever - IT IS LYING.
So. If you drink slowly someone will know. At first only you. Later someone else in your surroundings, later us here, cause either you come back here and tell us, or you won’t and we will know that fucking addiction got you. LIE nr 1.
You will not enjoy it. Addicition will. But you will not enjoy it. No one enjoys being drunk, but you addiction. You know this. Addiction obviously will keep telling you lies. LIE nr 2.
This is not what your brain is telling you. This is what addiction is telling you. Keepin those two seperate is extremely difficult, especially in early sobriety, where you are. So this is LIE nr 3.
Obviously there is no difference in drinking vodka to whatever else you’re used to drinking. This lie is very easy to see. LIE nr 4.
Now YOU have spotted the fucking addiction lying to you. Great job! You also realized that reaching out is a good way to defend yourself.
Are there any more lies addiction is telling you? Keep sharing!
I’m wishing you all the strength in the world for today!
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Reading this is helping, thank you so much.
Loads but I’m going to keep busy and ignore.
Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself to get in the garden when I know it gives me bad anxiety - once I’m out there I am fine.
Maybe il just hang the washing out to dry today, that’s a big step for me. And when I’m out there if I want to move the furniture over ready to build the catio in the middle of week when weather is fine I can. If I don’t then it’s fine to just hang the washing out and come in and see nothing is going to happen that I need to feel this worried.
But I also have to get out there to stop feeling the worry over nothing.
Back to thoughts I’m having, I think maybe online meetings, tidy inside there is never much I always on top of everything. Then maybe cook something nice for dinner for something to look forward to later with a movie.
To be honest my heads all over the place. Maybe a relaxing Sunday.
I know my thinking is not logical so today I need to not listen to any of my ideas.
Your post I will read again in a while to keep reminding myself this :
The vodka would be hoping no one smells it and the sneaky element of addiction. Something I didn’t do on my last relapse. The fact that I know this is dangerous thinking let alone to act on it and It doesn’t scare me right now is worrying.
I will not drink today.
I will hang the washing out in the garden, maybe take Polly for a long walk in nature.
Cook a nice dinner.
I’m going to try not to feed the thoughts.
Hopefully il catch up in awhile with some positive stuff I have done 
Thank you for taking the time to reply. Many truths in your post that I need to hear, I appreciate your support and hope your doing okay today
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Well done for reaching out Twizz!
Dunno if it’s helpful but you can smell alcohol in all its forms on someones breath and next day on their skin. Even vodka.
I get the sneaky day drinking demon thing, but you’ve got to stare it in the face and realise THAT is alcoholism at its worst. There is literally no sane reason to do it (though I’m sure we all have). Get out for a long walk (without access to money… little habit to make sure temptation doesn’t step in).
Sending strength
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Thank you
I also think I need to actually go back to basics and realise I might of thought I had but I haven’t.
I have not set up anything moving forward to do with my sobriety except believing I can do it myself. ( Of course the help of this community) I mean like AA I haven’t been to one meeting yet.
I don’t think I have took my relapse seriously and maybe I need to spend this evening reading around here the whats your plan threads etc…
Going to get on with a few bits and then pop back on.
I appreciate your support and taking time to reply hope your doing okay
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Thanks for posting Twizzlers. It’s also helpful for the rest of us, it’s hard to ring that alarmbell once that voice starts talking again. Kuddos for that.
The same voice creeps back on and off in my head. For me one thought helps: that my anxiety will enter the building together with that drink. It’s like my trigger thought. When I think about anxiety the rest follows: the hangovers, losing my fitness, smoking again etc etc. but I’m only at month 4 now and I know I will need to ring that alarmbell on TS some day too. Glad you did 
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Hey Aimee, I’m so glad you’re reaching out, and am so proud of you 
This is 100% right. It’s so easy to get a case of the fuck-its before you reach out. I’ve done this multiple times. Cliche as it sounds, playing the tape forward and realizing exactly where I’m gonna be in a week. Not to mention seeing that counter back at zero, if I gave In has been enough to help fight it off.
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The opposite of addiction is connection. And that’s exactly what this is about. You’re looking for connection now. And that’s the one thing we must keep doing, for the rest of our lives. Of course we need time to ourselves too. But we have to know we’re not alone. And communicate and connect. Like you are now. So happy you’re here. Together we can do this. Alone we’re lost.
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Sometimes in the beginning it’s good to have a nice easy task that takes your mind off gently… Like a good interesting 500 piece jigsaw puzzle. Make a pot of tea and have a radio station on like smooth or magic. I find that ‘nice’ gentle things make me feel nice. The 
will while away hours as well and your brain kind of switches off nicely.
Be kind Twizz.
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