I’m on Day 4 without alcohol and I hate this. All I can think about everyday all day is how I’ll never be able to drink going to watch sports events, when we go to Cancun next year, even just having wine with my Mom. It just makes me depressed. The chatter in my head is non stop with anxiety and everything I worry about and I miss being able to numb that. I know it’s not healthy but I just feel like I’m in hell right now. I’m depressed and miserable and I just want a glass of wine when I’m done with work. Does this get better? Will I ever feel like this is worth it? It doesn’t feel like it.
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Yes it does. It gets better in the same way cleaning your house gets better: one day, one step at a time.
Your addict brain is fussing in the same way a spoiled child fusses when the child isn’t getting what it is used to getting. It’s habit and routine, and you’re changing the routine - to a routine that won’t kill you and destroy your relationships - and it doesn’t really matter that the change is a healthy change; your brain (like all brains) is a creature of habit and will try to “flow” in the way it’s used to. (It’s like a river. A river follows the path it’s flowed for years and years, until you build something to redirect that river, to channel it in a different direction. Redirecting a river takes effort and attention 
)
You will look back on this time as the biggest and best change you ever made in life, and it will lay the foundation for the fulfilling things you will do in the years ahead.
You have been living so long in “numb mode” that your sense of what’s “good” in life is just numbing the bad. Addiction and the “addict mind” of avoidance and escape has made your sense of “good” into just being “numb”.
As you learn and grow, sober, one day at a time, you’ll find fulfillment and happiness and satisfaction and you’ll get to a point where you can’t imagine giving that up for the poisonous numbness of alcohol. Why would you want to?
It is one day at a time and the early days especially are just about determination and persistence.
Have you joined a recovery group to help? There are online ones and in person:
Take care and don’t give up. Remember: your sense of what’s “good” and what “sucks” is way off right now because your standards have been distorted by addiction. Don’t let that sidetrack you. Stay focused and keep asking for help
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It did get better for me. Yeah there are things that I miss from being able to drink, but I also gained some things. For one I’m more free to go out and drive whenever I want because before I spent a good deal of my personal time drunk and was stuck wherever I was and needed a ride. I’ve also been able to pick up new hobbies when before I was typically too inebriated to understand more complicated or new things in general. Feeling more in control of my life gave me a boost in self confidence. I also have a bit more energy than before. Not as much as I’d like at the moment though, but I need to start exercising to get more I’m guessing.
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Yes it does get better, so far im 28 days…first few days are the hardest…my advice is not to think long term its too scary at the beginning…dont put that sort of pressure on yourself…take it day by day only for now…then see how u feel when events etc come up, truth is you dont know how youl feel by then so worrying about and putting pressure on yourself for future situations is basically fiction in your head
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It will… Charlotte! It will get better and it’s absolutely worth it.
After 67 days I am at the point that 80% of my depression and anxiety were caused BY drinking alcohol 
… I feel very free now, happy and I am able to work with my patterns and on my personality, how I c the world… myself and relationships.
I was not sure if I will make it during the first weeks… But it is possible! One day at a time…! Nothing more… Bring your head sober on the pillow!!
What really helped me was split screen or fast forwarding method during a craving.
What will the next 12 hours look if I will drink?
What will they look like if I don’t?
I don’t know how much you were drinking,but I was also totally into wine, nothing else, but 2 and sometimes 3 bottles a day for nearly 2 years, with pauses of several weeks.
I was totally remote controlled.
Every morning i was swearing to stop forever!
Every day in the late afternoon I bought new wine. Drinking, drama, doing crazy things - waking up and - Repeat!
I lost all confidence in myself…
And now - I got it back!
I am happier then ever before…
Making lots of positive experiences…
And if feelings are overwhelming - I can trust myself that I can handle it 
It’s OK not to be ok sometimes…
And I can accept void… And find peace in it! We have to pause sometimes… And just be. (thanks Mno )
Whats stabilizing me fundamentally is taking care of healthy and regular eating, enough resting and naps and a lot of sports (Are you into sports? Are you having fun with a special kind of sports?)
Furthermore it’s this community, social contacts and family, meditating, reflecting, writing, Yoga and sometimes therapy.
If I made it until here…
You can do it too! 
Let us know how you are and how are things going! 
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Thinking about forever is scary and sad when thinking of “not being able” to use your drug of choice BUT try reframing your thoughts. Dont future trip. Think about what you CAN DO now you are sober. Im 4.5 months into sobriety and working an aa program and ive gone from depressed and hopeless to joyful,greatful, and enjoying life. When people say one day at a time take it literally. Just focus on today. Just focus on what will get you through the next hour. Treat yourself to a nice homemade meal. Take a walk. What can relieve your stress and desire to use? Make a game plan when shit gets rough.
Im proud of you for checking in here. Keep checking in!
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Yeah it will get better if you put the work in.
For me it was that after work glass of wine that you talked about, I didn’t know how I’d manage without it, what life would be without it, I thought it was really necessary and a really good thing…
Now I can’t believe I ever thought it was a good idea, I wasted so much of my time, I can’t believe what I put my body through. Can’t believe the time I squandered let alone health. You’ll look back and realise how gross it all was.
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Quitting drinking or drugging, when thats all we know can be scary. It may not feel in this moment that sobriety will be worth it, but I promise u that the gifts of recovery will begin to show themselves to u.
This is also why the phrase, “one day at a time” is so important. It feels very, very overwhelming when we think we cant use or drink for the rest of our lives. All we truly have tho is TODAY. Just focus on taking the next right action for the next 24 hours. Begin toe xplpre new ways of coping with stress etx. Wether that be self care or exercise or whatever that may be. Ser what works for u instead of wanting to turn to a drink to cope 
thats what has helped me tremendously. Wishing u all the best!
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I am 60 days today. I developed a anger to alcohol for all that is represents and that helps me not to ever want a drink again. I have found peace each day and so much happier. Peace for me comes through God. I start the morning and end the day thanking Him for a sober day. Hope this helps you.
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If I drank at a sporting event, I’d end up sloshed and not remembering half the game. Now I enjoy nachos and a coke and enjoy the game fully! Which is more fun?
When I went to Hawaii a few weeks ago with my daughter, we saw every site from dawn to dusk! I drove, we laughed, we took pictures, we had dinner and I went to bed sober with a full night’s rest. I was up early and ready the next morning for the next adventure. The last time I drank on a cruise, I was drunk most of the time, fought with my partner, and got a ton of bruises all over and don’t remember from where. I spent more money on booze than anything else. Which is more fun?
I never drank with my mom because I would have had diarrhea of the mouth and not in a nice way. It would have been bad. Now I can have a conversation with her while she drinks the wine, worry free. Which is better?
Give sobriety a chance to prove itself to you. Play it forward and compare the scenarios. I have had more fun sober in the last 2 + years than I have drunk anyday 
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Yeah it gets better. Day 200 and i still get sad and angry about it sometimes. Its not fair. I wish I could just have a beer sometimes i really do.
But its so so so worth it. And over time, im much more angry about the years i wasted getting fucked up every day and the ways that hurt my life.
It helps ofc to think about it 1 day at a time rather than the rest of ur life.
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It gets better. Stick with it
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I think what you’re thinking and feeling is normal. I’m 65 days in and still miss things. However, let me give you a big dose of reality. This is real life, this is the story of my sister in laws drinking which you remind me of her in your thinking years ago.
My wife’s oldest sister is 10 years older than she is. When I met my wife her sister was early 30s and going through a divorce. Both her parents are alcoholics. However, her sisters big vice at the time was to sneak off into the garage and smoke a menthol cigarette? Who smokes menthol cigarettes? Lol
After her divorce she reconnected with all her high school friends who are all big drinkers. Functional alcoholics with good careers but serious drinkers. She went from zero drinking at 35 to Monday football, bowling league Tuesdays, bunko with the girls Wednesday, sporting events all weekend, cruises every six months, river trips and the habit was created.
She kept up this habit for ten years and became a ragging alcoholic. Her daughter, son and law and grand children moved away so they wouldn’t have to deal with her drinking or have her be part of her life.
We never associated with her because her drinking made her simply the most annoying person in the world. She did such a crappy job raising her son, he was much younger than his older sister he is now homeless, and I’m always waiting to hear he overdosed. She doesn’t care about him or her daughter. She can go on cruises and Cancun but can’t travel to see her daughter or grand kids. It’s all about alcohol.
She paid for her lifestyle because her husband has a great job and she did home child care. Until one day parents showed up to pick up their kids and she was passed out cold on the living room floor. She lost her license and now was unemployed. The next ten years she solely focused on drinking. Until her husband couldn’t stand it any longer and he threw her out.
She’s gone to rehab half a dozen times. This last time she is in for six months. Turns out she was living in her car and spotted drinking in her car. Got arrested and spent time in jail. That’s the latest reason she went to rehab.
I don’t know what the catalyst is to why you’re trying to get sober? Lost job, arrested, failed relationship? Who knows but what I’m trying to say is my sister in law every time she got out of rehab had the same outlook on life. Life’s terrible if I can’t go on my 80s cruise, or go to the river, or go to the game etc etc. so she just kept walking into the lions den.
What is it going to take to get sober? A new liver? Jail time? Homelessness? I’m not saying I don’t miss stuff and I’m constantly having to retrain my brain. Right now I’m extremely irritable. Something I’m having to work through.
Great advice above about her trip to Hawaii. You’ll find you suddenly do all these fun activities rather than sitting on the beach drinking and waking up at noon. You can do it just stick with it!!!
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It helps me to think…the only thing i cannot have is alcohol…everything else is in abundance…my favourite at the moment is cheesecake
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Hmmm…is there a reason or reasons you stopped drinking? Is it ‘fun’ and ‘relaxing’ every time you drink?
For me, it has definitely gotten better and was 100% worth all the time, effort, tears and pain of actually quitting and the deep digging of working on my recovery. If it was easy, well, we wouldn’t all be here I guess.
I also found that ‘forever’ was too much to consider. I don’t drink today and that makes life a lot easier. I will deal with tomorrow if I wake up.
I guess I would take a hard look at why you wanted to stop in the first place. Get kinda clear on the reality of drinking versus the fantasy of what alcohol offers. Hangover, shame, guilt and bad decisions…I am looking at you!! Plus…health issues. It catches up with you for sure.
So yes, it gets WAY better. First tho, we need to get square on what alcohol was offering us. And only you can answer that question.
Hang in there!!! It DOES get better
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It gets better in time the obsession of drinking will fade in time n you will start seeing feeling better n the thought will come less n less