I experience depression to a maddening degree. I’ve lost many years of my life to it. I’m in psychoanalysis (long term intensive talking therapy) since the day I’m sober. Through the work I have done there and the recovery I’ve thankfully absorbed from all the ppl who’ve come before me on here and through other resources, my life quality has multiplied. I’m a much more happy stable person now. I still work on myself daily. I still go to the dark place regularly, but I don’t stay there nearly as long.
There’s help out there. Whatever you decide for, sobriety will be the backbone of your efforts towards greater mental health. As long as you drink and drug, you hide from what it is your depression is trying to alert to you to notice. Depression is a symptom of inner conflict. Listen to yourself, learn about yourself, educate yourself.
Congrats on coming here and sharing, I always feel that connection is the only means of ad hoc relief of depressive symptoms.
Here are some more resources to aid you in your recovery: Resources for our recovery
@RobZombie I’ve seen you open up a bit more here recently in bits and bobs. That seems healthy to me. It also seems like it’s hard to do for you and that’s also perfectly understandable. When I read your posts it feels to me like you’re testing out whether you’ll be accepted. With your background of your mother’s addiction. I hope you begin to feel that you do in fact belong. No one judges you for any of that on here. And coming to terms with your truth, your history, is a vital and big part of addressing your unhappiness in the now. I hope you will continue to do that. 