Yes, I know…lived there for 6+ years.
My mom and dad, ran a hotel in Daytona for many years. My daughter and I would go down there every summer from June till September them little things were vicious…
That’ll be some guy who’s helped millions of people quit an addiction with his method being recognised and awarded.
This ‘disease’ is not the same for everyone, we are individuals. We have different backgrounds, experiences, influences, support, information, tools, methods, brains… To say that every problem drinker on the planet will have exactly the same journey is, in my opinion, untrue and ridiculous. Unlike you, I have been fortunate enough to meet many people who have left alcohol behind for many years without having to hide from it. I do know my mind and my strengths and weaknesses and I do know the addict within. A month maybe a short sober journey, but I’ve had a lifetime getting to know me. Everyones journey is there own and like everyone, I will do what I know I can.
@Englishd Hey Derek,
It seems Team Unicorns is in the lead on this thread. Whether that’s a good thing, I’m not sure but it is what it is, LOL
Disease and journey are not the same thing. The disease is scientific, a physiological change in the way your brain functions. Journey is how you deal with it.
Well said!!!
@Schmemm Must be nice to so unique and have it all figured out 1 month in, you should write a book, I’d buy a copy.
Damn sure I’m over 2 years and I still get bad days
I can recognise myself in some posts here. I also recognise also that since I started my recovery 4 years ago of which I am almost 3 years sober now, I went and am still going through phases aka I learn. I started being so grateful but also excited that it was so damn easy to quit after endless trials, day one’s after another. I then thought, haaaa, I know it all so leave me alone, what are you talking about. At the moment I am in a stage of openness, accepting to each their own. I didn’t learn it the hard hard hard way, my hard was hard enough for me. Mental destruction was so prominent.
Idk what’s my point actually, sorry. Fact is, I can change my mind, I learn, hopefully.
Edit. I think sometimes we want others that just start their journey to understand, see, get it, take my advice just like that, forgetting how much it took me, all the falling down. As if I ever listened to my mother of how to dos. I had to learn it myself.
Helpful stuff, thank you
I can go back on my early posts and see the same type of thinking, it’s just part of the journey. A lot has changed in the past 2 years.
Yes in hindsight it is so easy to see all the ways that might have made things easier, smoother etc. But like you say we have each made our own choices and hopefully learned from them!
I think we all (or most) had that thinking in the beginning. It’s very similar to my thought pattern my first attempt at sobriety. I was cocky and complacent. Couple of relapses later I was thoroughly beat and then acknowledged I didn’t know shit. So I started listening to the people with sobriety and following their lead. Sure enough I found sobriety.
Getting sober isn’t easy, but the path is pretty simple.
I think this is a really important point - what might seem unhelpful, patronising etc to someone is actually people speaking from a place of seeing their past behaviours or patterns being played out. I find it helpful to remember that the only reason people are responding in this way is because they actually do give a shit and would like to see people taking a different path to them.
Of course, none of us have the full context of each others’ lives from what is posted on the forum alone. So even if there are some things that feel familiar, it doesn’t mean our situations are the same. All any of us can do (and have done mostly, I think) is speak from our personal experience. And then we all have a choice of what we do with the experience of others
Just wondering what people’s views are on sarcastic putdowns and whether they’re emotional effect could have the potential to trigger relapse? Specifically in people in the early stages of sobriety…let’s say, 1 month
You’re worried that some stranger on the internet is going to “trigger” you to drink, yet talk about how strong your willpower is that you like to test your sobriety.
Thank you for making everyone’s point for us!
I think if you take @Dan531 's other comment about having the same kind of thought processes in early recovery, as well as mine saying that most of us often respond when we can see our own past behaviours played out in others, it becomes less of a put down.
And as per my earlier post, the only reason people are responding to you is because they actually do care and are hoping for a good outcome for you (and anyone else reading who can relate).
I can remember bristling at things I read here, but as time went by came to see the truth and value in them. There have been many debates about the merit or otherwise of tough love on the forum over the years. The thing is what might be exactly what one person needs to hear (whether or not they realise it at the time!) might be a big turn off for someone else. That’s life.
I know for me learning to let go of the things that don’t serve me, including the need to engage with everyone and everything, has been a game changer for me using the forum over the years. We don’t have to agree with everyone and everything, that’s OK I hope you can find the threads to hang out on where you feel supported and connected to others. There’s certainly a lot to choose from!
I actually would buy a copy. Everyones path is different but everyone’s pitfalls are the same. I’m certainly no expert on sobriety, I’m still new to it, still learning. The techniques to remain sober have evolved as my sobriety has matured.
I guess what people are trying to say is keep an open mind to what has worked for others. If you’re willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober you will, if you’re not you won’t.
This place is extremely helpful if you’re looking for help. I apologize for offending you. Feel free to flag my post.