That is an interesting point. I had a few phases where I was not drinking as much on a regular basis, but when I did on weekends or whatever…Bad news.
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Totally why I stopped and needed to get it out of my life. The best thing I ever read was it’s almost like we are allergic to it. It treats us differently. I would start out early in my week with just a couple or with friends. But there were times when I thought I was functioning and did not remember the next day what I made my family for dinner. I think for me it was saying to myself it’s ok to not be ok.
Thanks for sharing and this place is amazing. Lots of support and I find strength here every day. Hope you stay your worth it.
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It’s not whether we or not we decide to label ourselves alcoholics that unites us, it’s that we all desire to stay away from alcohol. You’re in the right place with us. My tips for newly sober people is to stay connected to sober communities and friends- even if that just means engaging on here often. Also, find and explore hobbies or activities to fill the times you’d normally be drinking. Lastly, have a plan during events you’d normally drink- know what you’re going to be drinking instead of alcohol and have an exit strategy if it feels like too much. Welcome, and glad to have you here.
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Thanks for the advice from each of you! Some valuable tips there. I think I stated the alcoholic thing because I didn’t know whether I warranted actually being here or not, felt almost fraudulent. Tha ks for the welcome guys, as I said there are some really valuable tips for me to take in! Very much appreciated and now i know I have definitely done the right thing 
Day 9 for me just for reference
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Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Everyone starts off managing their drinking, to an extent. Alcoholism will progress and it will get worse. If this is you, where do you want to draw that line in the progression? For some, it’s when they feel that change in character. For some, it’s a DUI. For some it’s after losing everything. This is a question only you can answer. If the answer is that you want to stop now, I would recommend to start getting some literature and read everything on alcohol addiction. That will help you with insight and a place to start. Sending you strength and wisdom 
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Welcome here! Glad to have you! You sound scared enough to be willing to make changes! That’s great! 
Let’s work on giving you some motivation besides that so when the fear fades, you’ll stick with it. If you 
up top anniversary or milestones you’ll find many threads of ppl whose lives have changed for the better drastically when they quit. That always inspires me.
Here are some resources that have helped others educate themselves and stay sober: Resources for our recovery
And this is just invaluably good advice: Your #1 tip for sobriety (over 2 years sober)
Best of luck and stick around! I recommend using the check in thread for community and accountability! Checking in daily to maintain focus #51
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This strikes home with me. I was very fucked up on Sunday. Roaming around on my own vandelising property, getting drugs, talking to women, wasting money that I didn’t have.
All started with one drink. Then 6. Then 16…
For me, one drink is too little, yet too much.
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@RobZombie I’ve been there also mate. A couple of drinks tends to lead to spending money I don’t have on drugs also. Not proud of that but we’re here and we’ve made the first step as other have also said. Thanks for the reply mate, it helps for me knowing that you’re not the only one as it sometimes feels like that! Thanks for the reply! Sending strength to you also
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I need to do something before I lose work, family and go to jail. I nearly lost my arm in 2020 drink driving. You would think I may have learned a thing or two, but no.
I drink for many reasons. A lot of things trigger my binge drinking. Fighting with spouse, over working money troubles, depression, lonliness, boredom, desire to express myself physically.
I’m trying to find as many reasons not to drink.
I’ll try to check in, but I ignore the app when I feel like I’m failing.
Take care mate.
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Challenge your thinking. Try this on for size:
There are no other reasons that you drink other than that drinking is the response you choose to meet life events and feelings. Aka that you’re an alcoholic.
A lot of things trigger your wish to drink. Nothing other than your habitual decision to give in to this wish actually triggers the response. Nothing makes you drink. You drink. That means by extension that you can change this habitual response.
How hard it is to change is dependent on how much you’re willing to put in to that change (if you put nothing in other than the wish, there will be zero change) and how engrained your habit is.
What is true is that If you change nothing, nothing will change for you.
I posted resources up above. Start today.
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Thanks for that. Struggling ATM with my own thoughts. Nice to have some refreshing inspiration.
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Welcome!
Like you I never drank every day. Not physically addicted to alcohol. But found myself increasingly blacking out, most times I drank. Tried drinking with rules, drinking less often, but it was still happening.
The word alcoholic is kind of subjective. I wonder if I always attached it to the idea of an all day every drinker so it made me feel less bad about my drinking. I hadn’t lost a job, got any real trouble etc. I still don’t click with the idea of being a recovering alcoholic. It helps some people and that’s great.
Regardless, when I thought about stopping for good it was so scary. I cried. I wasn’t sure how to imagine a life without alcohol. I found this forum and I read around and I was surprised at how much I related to people who did drink every day, or used other substances habitually.
It seemed so impossible to stop but that was in 2018… So far it has been possible!
There is so much help and support available, here and in the wider recovery community. It is not just AA anymore - although if that is your thing then that is awesome, cos there are loads of groups. Whether you choose to join a programme or make up your own, support and connection are key. It can be hard to live life on life’s terms, without the substances and behaviours we learned to rely on. Learning from and alongside others really does make a difference.
Hope you find this community as helpful as I have 
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@siand
“The word alcoholic is kind of subjective. I wonder if I always attached it to the idea of an all day every drinker so it made me feel less bad about my drinking. I hadn’t lost a job, got any real trouble etc. I still don’t click with the idea of being a recovering alcoholic”
That’s me down to a T. I still wonder why I act the way I do when under the influence, but if I think back I’ve always been this way just always been in denial about it because I wasn’t strong enough or mature enough to take a stand! Thanks for your post it’s very helpful! Much appreciated.
I don’t feel as though I’m an alcoholic still if I’m honest but I know it definitely doesn’t agree with me when I do drink
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Ah yes the wondering why… I have also done my fair share of that!
I started drinking when I was a teenager, basically started overdoing it straight away. With the benefit of a bit of sobriety time I suspect it was a way of fitting in to a world I felt a bit awkward in. And likely avoiding some emotions I didn’t know how to deal with. Just not giving a fuck and wanting out of my head. Some combination of those things that over time became habituated and interwoven in more and more aspects of life.
I think there is not one reason. It is just one of the methods we use to navigate life, which is messy and complicated. Choosing not to drink does make some things more simple. Not always easy! But so far no regrets from me.
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@siand that all feels very relatable again. I was in my teens also and overdone it pretty much straight away. I can kind of put a finger on one the main reasons as to why I drink the house way I do but st the same time don’t want to blame anything or anyone othe than myself as I choose to do it if that makes sense? I’m glad you have no regrets, as hearing that makes me feel even more that I am making the correct decision! Thanks for the reply and support
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Yea absolutely. I think understanding what external factors make us want to numb can be helpful to a point. Help us find different ways of managing things that we find difficult. It is a process that’s for sure!
To be OK with not knowing and allowing things to come up when they are ready. That has been a new way of living for me. Also reminding myself that problems rarely develop over night. They take time to build up and time to address.
Glad you are here!
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not how much how it affects you and others .only you can know if your have a drink problem
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@Ray_M_C_Laren I know by how I treat others unde the influence. I understand it’s a me thing, but it still effects others also
Welcome to the forum!! You have lots of good responses and feedback. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I could go a long time without drinking, a long time without the blackout / messy drinking…but eventually that would happen again. I spent years trying to figure out how I could successfully drink…what an oxymoron. But everyone drank, it was all I knew. Anyway…it definitely gets worse, not better, as time goes on, so you made a wise decision in stopping.
Tips on how to stay away? A few…Keep your focus on not drinking today. Don’t drink today. Get a bunch of fizzy water at home and chug that as needed. Avoid parties, bars, occasions until you have some solid time. Avoid drinking friends until you have some solid time. Take walks to burn off steam / energy (or whatever physical activity you prefer). Visit here often and read read read. Writing stuff out can help get it out of your brain…get a journal and write it out. Remember why you started down the sobriety road. Do not drink today.
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Thanks a lot for your reply. Always helps when people have relatable experiences for sure. I have definitely tried for years to figure out a way of being able to drink “sensibly” yet it’s never worked. Tried all different types of alcohol but end up in the same position/situation.
I’ve accepted now that it’ll never agree with me, it’s taken a while but I’m happy with my decision.
Thanks for the advice also!
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