Back to day one, won’t give huge details here, not everyone in my support system agrees with me and thinks I’m being to hard on myself. I define my sobriety and for me, it was breaking my boundaries and definitions. So made it one day, I am strong, I will stay sober today. ODAAT
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Hey, it’s been a while since anyone posted here. Hope you all are doing swell. 
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Haven’t posted in a while but thought accountability would be important. I am leaving to visit my family and the upcoming feasting day. I am terrified and this particular holiday is always a huge trigger for me. I can’t get out of it, and trust me I tried. I can feel myself spiraling with thoughts that are so unhealthy for me. Im already mentally drained and we haven’t even left yet. So, checking in, desperately reminding myself I am worth my sobriety and I have more worth than my appearance. Sending so much healing and hugs for all who are on this journey as well. One day at a time, we got this!
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Wishing u strength as u get thru this holiday. I dont have much in the sense of suggestions or advice to help, but please know that im hoping for the best for u during this time. Hugs!
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Grateful that you did check in Jenny. Sending you strength this week. I do know how hard this holiday in particular can be.
Don’t let it stress you out or overwhelm you - Don’t give it the power it needs to feed off of. I know this sounds easier said than done. Just try to find something peaceful to focus on. Meditate if you can to help ease your mind. You have been doing so well and i know you can continue to keep going strong.
Just remember that we are right here with you and you can reach out if you need support.
Sending you hugs and healing as well - you are worth your sobriety!
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Thank you!
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Thank you so much!
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I did fairly well yesterday.
I have home made pastries in the house and Halloween candy and I managed to say no to them.
I did however eat toast, which I’m trying to also steer clear of, to help become a healthier weight.
Ate loads of celery, carrots, grapes, and yogurt. In doing so though I felt hungrier all day. Hoping to find the balance today or over the next few days.
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Just checking in to say I’m doing well 
This is one of the longest stretches of no binge/purge cycle I have had in recent years, just over 3 months now. I feel less dehydrated all the time, my skin is less dry and the near constant dull ache in my head, throat and jaw is gone, along with the feeling of guilt and shame.
I have been very stressed recently and this is usually a big trigger for me, but I caught myself starting to plan a binge and used my tools to bring myself back into the moment.
I am worried about visiting family over Christmas. Feeling too full is not nice for me and I usually end up wanting to get rid of the feeling. I’m going to try to set boundaries with my family so they don’t keep offering me food, as kind as they think they’re being, I always feel pressured to eat when they offer, even if I don’t want to.
Recovery is possible, one day at a time.
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Checking in, back after a relapse. Day 2 and sober.
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Made it five days, but struggling. Intrusive thoughts. Daughter shared a photo of me that she submitted as her inspiration for an upcoming athletic event celebrating women. I am so overwhelmed with love for her and the pic is actually beautiful (which is a big step for me to admit) and all I can think about is how I relapsed and in my messed up brain don’t look like that right now. It is messing with me big time and I want to stay sober…damn. Hard day. Grateful I can vent here. Stay strong all.
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5 days is amazing friend. I am sorry you are struggling right now. Are you able to do something to distract yourself? Walk, read, selfcare of some sort?
I love this – it is a huge step. Love that you can see yourself with admiration. Keep putting in the effort love - you are doing great
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Great advice, I ended up listening to a mindfulness video and that helped. Better day today.
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For the past few weeks. I have had zero appetite. But I have been forcing myself to eat. Then I feel overfull and have the urge to purge. But I’m not binging. I am just sick and not wanting to eat. I have to eat to get better but man is it hard to fight the mental battles.
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Sorry you’re having these problems. Have you tried splitting up the food where you’re eating smaller portions when you do get a chance to eat to try to keep from getting that overfull feeling?
Sounds like you’re feeling overfull on not much food.
Hope all this will clear up for you soon. Big hugs friend.
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I ate a turkey and cheese sandwich on “sandwich bread” with 4 thin slices of turkey, 1 slice of cheese, lettuce and pickles today. And halfway through I felt overfull. But before I hadn’t eaten since about noon yesterday…
I feel my thinking shifting into ED territory because the moment I feel overfull I am wanting to make that feeling go away.
I could easily refuse to eat, or purge.
But I am trying to hard to be healthy.
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Sometimes when people don’t eat for awhile their stomachs kind of shrink a little bit where they get full faster. The good thing is you’re not wanting to purge. I’m sorry you feel like you’re going into ED territory.
Then it sounds like less than half a sandwich could be about it for you until you don’t feel too full.
I know that cheese sticks will keep in a purse all day. It might be eating them every hour or two might be something that could possibly be helpful since you wouldn’t want to carry a turkey sandwich around in your purse.
Peanut butter. Nuts. Cheese sticks. Small bites.
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Think I’ve hit rock bottom, I can’t keep doing this anymore. I am so fearful that it will eventually take a major toll on my health that I won’t be able to recover from. I am so incredibly sad and ashamed of this disease and the hold it has over me. I made an appointment to see a specialist next week. I am terrified but this cannot continue. To all who are in recovery as well, you are worth it!
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Hi everyone,
I’m reading some of the posts on this thread and some of them are unbelievably relatable, I know I’m in the right place. I feel anxious when I start feeling hungry, and I only feel calm when I feel full. Never knew some people experienced the opposite. My pattern of overeating makes a little more sense now
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Today I ate
2 of the dollar chicken sandwiches from a drive thru 700 calories
And a protein drink 190 cals
And water and 0 cal sugar free life water
I can say I am not hungry. But I think I should have made better choices. Since I had basically no veg or fruit today. And the protein was fried and processed 
On one hand I know under 1k is not sustainable and I should aim for more. But on the other, I am not hungry, and I also don’t want to eat more. Too much stress and things to deal with to think about how I can eat more.
Well I ate a baked potato. Around 200 calories
So I passed 1k for the day. 
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